


Will You Be Coming Back Again

by Tillthewheelsfalloff



Series: Don't Say Goodbye [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Anal Sex, Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Daryl Dixon Smut, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes Feels, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Negan is an automatic warning (Walking Dead), Oral Sex, POV Alternating, Past Negan/Daryl Dixon, Past Sexual Abuse, Smut, Stabbing, minor Daryl Dixon/Paul Rovia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tillthewheelsfalloff/pseuds/Tillthewheelsfalloff
Summary: “I wanna see you again, can I?” Rick asked.Daryl raised an eyebrow. “I ain’t lookin’ for nothin’, man.”“Huh?”“I don’t date,” Daryl told him bluntly, not wanting Rick to get the wrong idea.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Carol Peletier, Daryl Dixon & Jesus, Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes, Rick Grimes & Shane Walsh
Series: Don't Say Goodbye [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894987
Comments: 70
Kudos: 216
Collections: Daryl is gay/asexual so deal with it





	1. I'm Trying Hard Not To Feel Rejected

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz  
> And thank you to my best friend for answering my weird and wonderful questions for this fic - giving me inspiration all the way!
> 
> Read part one for this to make more sense :)  
> Some commenters asked for more so I have provided!  
> I will be updating once a week!

Rick carefully pulled out of Daryl and rolled off the condom. With a groan, he climbed off the bed to put it in the nearby waste bin, before dropping back in the bed and lay back against the pillows with a heavy, satisfied sigh.

“Fuck,” Rick breathed.

“Yeah,” Daryl murmured.

Besides him, Daryl offered him a piece of red cloth, a quick glance told him Daryl had already cleaned himself off. Rick took it with a hummed thanks, wiping himself down.

Now that it was over, he suddenly felt awkward and wasn’t sure what to say or do. He had never had a one night stand. Hell, it’s been years since he slept with anybody but Lori. Was he supposed to leave? Or cuddle? Daryl didn’t seem like the cuddly type. Nor did he come off as gay, but Rick’s spent cock proved otherwise.

 _“I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.”_ The loud ringtone pulled Rick from his thoughts. He jumped up and rushed to search for his phone in his jeans. He could feel Daryl’s eyes on him as he answered it, suddenly feeling self conscious in the middle of the room naked whilst Daryl still had his shirt on, staring at him unabashedly.

“Shane,” Rick greeted.

“Rick, thank fuck, I’ve been calling,” Rick frowned, trying to remember if he had heard the phone ringing but he had been too focused on Daryl. “Did Dixon kidnap you or something?”

“Or somethin’. I’m fine. Just uh--” He glanced back at Daryl who was laying back, one arm under his head, muscular tanned arms gleaned with sweat, the shirt he refused to take off had ridden slightly up to his navel, softened cock resting just below.

Fuck he wanted that inside him. His dick twitched at the thought. Would there be opportunity for that? he wondered.

“Rick?”

“Hm? Yeah sorry, just gettin’ a drink with Daryl. Bar’s loud, didn’t hear my phone ‘til I came outside.”

“You mean inside,” he heard Daryl mutter.

Rick hid his shocked laughter with a cough. “Sorry, smokers,” he said to Shane.

“Your car’s at the station,” Shane stated bluntly. “I’ve got the patrol car.”

“I’ll get a cab,” Rick offered. “You head back.”

“Alright…” Shane said hesitantly, “enjoy.”

Rick shut off the phone and slid it back in his pocket, he turned back to Daryl still unsure but he didn’t want to leave yet. “Fancy that drink now?”

Daryl chewed on the side of his thumb for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah. Sure,” he slid out of the bed, searching for his pants as Rick did the same.

Once dressed, Daryl led him back into the main room, this time Rick looked around; he hadn’t paid any attention when they first entered. The room was small but open planned, beer cans strewn around the place, along with a few magazines on one chair with suspicious stains on the cover, and a book on the other chair.

“Where’s your bathroom?” Rick asked.

Daryl pointed at one of the two doors across from his own bedroom. Rick quickly washed his hands and face before coming back out to see Daryl, having changed his shirt, sitting by the small table, two glasses and a bottle of whiskey in the middle of the table.

“You and Merle share this place?” Rick asked conversationally, sitting opposite Daryl.

Daryl hummed and shifted in his seat, his hair moving to cover his face again. “It ain’t much.”

“More homely than my apartment. Been there for a few months,” Rick gently whirled the whiskey around the glass and took a sip. “Still got a dinner table in the box.”

Daryl peered through the curtain of hair at Rick. “‘Cause of ya divorce?” Rick nodded, lowering his eyes. “You uh, you wanna see my crossbow?” Daryl asked suddenly, pushing the hair out of his face.

* * *

Daryl led Rick to his shooting range, through the warm Georgina air, sipping at the bottle of whiskey and his crossbow banged against his back. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He had only slept with Rick because he was emotional, horny, and wanted to spite his dead father.

How better to do that then letting a cop fuck him?

It hadn’t been a big leap to know Rick was into guys, not with the way the man kept staring at him. He knew what he wanted from the moment Rick offered him a lighter but hadn’t considered the consequences to bringing him back to his place.

Usually he’s the one that can just leave.

He thought about telling Rick to go but Rick’s suggestion of that drink was too tempting to pass up. Offering to show him the crossbow was something else. Nobody was allowed to see it. He didn’t understand why he said it.

When he put it on the table between them, Rick had stared at it in awe, reaching out to touch it but pulled back looking up at Daryl for permission.

The range was ten minutes away at his pace. He’d set it up in the forest, far enough that kids in the trailer park wouldn’t accidentally stumble onto it. Although most of the kids knew him and Merle and a few of them would follow him out here to watch, if Merle was around they wouldn’t dare.

Daryl put down the whiskey and loaded the crossbow as Rick was looking around curiously. He had two circular targets set up, and between it a plank of wood with beer cans balanced across.

Daryl took aim and shot a bolt straight past Rick and hit one of the beer cars, sending it flying backwards and pinned it into a tree.

“Shit,” Rick muttered, jumping away from it.

“Wanna go?” Daryl asked before he could stop himself.

“You sure?”

“Jus’ don’t drop it.” Daryl crouched down, holding the crossbow in front of him, to show Rick how to load it and then stood to hand it to him. “Hold here an’ here,” Daryl moved Rick’s hands into the right positions, even adjusting his fingers and felt a blush creeping up his neck as he remembered where those fingers were barely half an hour ago. “Look here to aim, then press that.”

“Okay…” Rick took a deep breath and then shot. The arrow hit the edge of the right hand board.

“Not bad,” Daryl patted Rick’s back and went to retrieve the arrows.

“It was terrible, I’m usually a great shot,” Rick said disgruntledly.

“It’s a lot different than that toothpick,” Daryl nodded to Rick’s gun in its holster.

“Hey, I can get a bullseye at two hundred yards,” Rick said, Daryl continued to stare at him, disbelieving. “Fine. Remind me to take you to a shooting range,” Rick muttered.

Daryl took the crossbow back and handed Rick a piece of cardboard. “Throw that,” Daryl ordered. Rick raised an eyebrow but threw the piece of cardboard, Daryl shot it out of the air. Both men went to where it landed, the arrow sticking through the side.

“Showoff,” Rick muttered, but he was grinning.

Daryl snorted. “Have another go.”

Rick loaded and shot, the movement smoother and hitting slightly closer to the middle.

They passed it back and forth for the next hour, finishing the whiskey between them, until they were drunk enough that Rick was completely missing and Daryl was barely hitting bullseye.

“We should head back,” Daryl decided, watching Rick swaying on his feet.

Rick shot the crossbow, watching it hit a tree off to the side of the target. “Yeah. I should get home,” Rick decided with a sigh.

“I’d offer you a lift, but,” he shook the empty bottle. “Bit awkward if you’ve gotta gimmie a ticket, Officer Grimes.”

Rick laughed brightly. “Yeah… cab. Cab is good.” He pulled out his phone, searched for a moment and then put it against his ear. “Hi. I need a cab… where am I?” He pulled the phone away and looked at Daryl, “Uh, where am I?”

Daryl gave him the address, Rick repeated it and gave his own address. “Great. Thank you.”

As they got closer to the trailer park, Daryl looked around carefully for Merle’s truck despite knowing Merle wasn’t due back for another couple of hours. He couldn’t be bothered to deal with his idiocy right now.

They walked to the main entrance to wait for the cab to pick up Rick. Daryl felt eyes on him and turned to see Rick staring at him.

“What?” Daryl asked.

“I wanna see you again, can I?”

Daryl raised an eyebrow. “I ain’t lookin’ for nothin’, man.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t date,” Daryl told him bluntly, not wanting Rick to get the wrong idea.

“That’s fine,” Rick said quickly. “I only got divorced a few months back. I’m not lookin’ for anythin’ but some fun.”

Daryl still hesitated, casual sex was a dangerous game. It was closer than he should let himself get to anyone. Sex once every so often had worked for the last few years, he could get by with that.

Yet he still found himself nodding and said, “Alright.”

“Friday? I’ll be home by six.” When Daryl nodded again Rick repeated his address in time for the cab to arrive.

* * *

Daryl woke up his head pounding and throat dry, he slowly sat up feeling the ache low and pleasant, a reminder of the day before. A reminder of Rick and their plans this evening.

His gut twisted at the thought. Was he really going to let himself do this again?

Last time he had started a friends with benefits relationship, it hadn’t ended all that well for him. Negan turned out to be a possessive crazy jerk.

A small voice reminded him Rick didn’t seem like that but then again neither had Negan. He couldn’t risk himself like that.

Disappointment squeezed at his chest, but Daryl ignored it, he was used to it.

Daryl ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at the greasy feel as he climbed out of bed and stumbled to the shower.

As the warm water cascaded over his aching, slightly sticky body, Daryl found his mind wandering back to Rick, he didn’t think he had that much fun with a person in a long time. He hadn’t laughed so much, ever.

He wanted to go.

He spent the entire day in a mood, ignoring Merle’s attempts at drawing him into conversation.

It was only when Merle said, “The hell is wrong wit’ you?! Bastard’s dead, you should be celebratin’ today!” that Daryl decided to go. He was being an idiot. It was just sex. If Rick started to turn possessive and weird he would just punch him and get out like he should have done with Negan.

He called Dwight, getting him to take over his shift at five thirty and made it to Rick’s apartment with five minutes to spare.

Rick answered wearing tight jeans and a tighter long sleeved blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His smirk only grew when he took in Daryl’s outfit.

“Daryl, c’mon in.”

Daryl looked around curiously, the room was practically empty with only a TV, couch with two pictures above it, one of Rick and a small child, around three years old. There was a large box in the corner, beside it a bookshelf, and the minimum amount of kitchen items to keep a man living.

“Drink?” Rick offered.

Daryl instead spun around and grabbed Rick, pulling him close and captured his lips in a feverish kiss which Rick returned enthusiastically.

* * *

Rick dropped back against the pillows with a satisfied sigh, belatedly remembering to find some tissue to clean himself off but Daryl was already passing him a blue cloth.

“Thanks.” Rick cleaned himself and dropped his head back down, blinking rapidly as he tried to stay awake. “You hungry?” he thought to ask, “I could order us some pizza?”

Daryl was quieter for longer than expected then Rick felt him nodding. “Sure. Anythin’ meaty.”

Rick reached for his phone to order from the local and then relaxed, listening to Daryl’s breathing. After a minute he looked over at the quiet man. Daryl was laying back with one arm draped above his head, the sheet barely covering his hips, spunk on his shirt.

“Want a shirt to change?” Rick asked. Daryl tensed, side-eyeing him. “Don’t haveta. Just a clean one. I reckon we’re about the same size.”

Daryl nodded so Rick rolled out of the bed and grabbed one from the drawer offering it out to him.

Daryl took it and held it loosely in one hand for a minute. “Mind if I shower?”

“Go ahead. Bathroom’s opposite.” Rick nearly asked to join but Daryl seemed ready to run just from the slightest mention of removing his shirt so Rick stayed quiet despite the curiosity gnawing at him.

Rick stayed in bed for a while but got dressed and cleaned up in time for the knock on the door.

“Hi Officer Grimes!” A Glenns cheerful voice greeted him. “How are you?”

“Hey Glenn, all good.” Rick smiled at him and took the pizzas to the coffee table. “How’s school?”

“Awesome! I got a ninety two on my finals!”

“Congrats!! Buy yourself something nice,” Rick said, handing him some money with a nice tip.

“You sure? Thank you!” Glenn pocketed the money and left before Rick could change his mind.

Rick glanced up to see Daryl leaning against the wall by the kitchen, Rick’s shirt was tight over Daryl’s broader shoulders but otherwise it fit okay.

“You know the pizza man by name?” Daryl asked, dropping onto the couch.

“Yeah. I’m not exactly a great cook,” Rick admitted with a wince as he sat down beside him after grabbing a couple of beers. “I keep meaning to learn but…”

“Take out’s easier?” Daryl finished for him, taking a slice of his meat feast.

“Pretty much.” Rick laughed. “You much of a cook?”

“Hadta be. Cooking since I could reach the stove,” Daryl said. Rick frowned; the more kernels of information Daryl gave him about his life, the more Rick wished he had been the one to pull the trigger on Will Dixon. “I’ll cook ya up a venison steak next time I catch me some deer,” Daryl added quickly.

“You hunt much?”

“Yeah,” Daryl smiled softly. . Nothin’ better than findin’ deer tracks and followin’ them for days.”

“How about findin’ it immediately?”

Daryl shook his head. “More satisfying when ya haveta track it for a time. Makes it taste be’er.”

“I’ve not even been campin’ since I was a kid.”

“Don’t bother with a tent,” Daryl said through a mouthful. “Best just straight under the stars. Cookin’ the rabbit and berries you’ve picked up on the way. Back to nature.” He sucked the grease off his fingers, Rick stared remembering exactly what that mouth and tongue was doing not that long ago. He shifted in his seat.

Daryl caught his eye as he reached for his beer and Rick quickly looked away, clearing his throat.

“That does sound pretty great,” Rick admitted.

Daryl hummed. “Been a while.”

“Do you and Merle go together?”

Daryl chuckled. “Nah. Merle knows what he’s doin’. Would survive out there but ain’t got the patience for it unless he’s gotta.”

Rick nodded thoughtfully but couldn’t think of anything to say to that. From the few times he met Merle he wasn’t a fan of the guy but didn’t think Daryl would appreciate him saying as much.

“Who’s the kid?” Daryl asked after a few moments, nodding towards the pictures on the wall.

“Hm? Oh, that’s my son, Carl.”

Daryl side eyed him. “Ya got a kid?”

“Yeah, he’s nearly five, lives with his mom.”

Daryl was quiet for a while, Rick wondered if that had freaked him out when Daryl said, “So your best friend didn’t jus’ fuck your wife, he fucked the mother of your kid?”

Rick laughed, despite a small voice reminding him how unfunny it really was. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“N’they don’t know you know? You should just tell ‘em, get it over and done with.”

“No, I know I should but I just don’t like confrontation.”

Daryl stared at him bewildered. “You're a cop.”

Rick laughed. “Touché.” He sipped at his beer to give himself a moment. “I know how cliché this sounds, but I became a cop to help people.”

“Yeh, cliché as hell,” Daryl muttered.

“Most of the time it’s just dealing with drunks and shit,” Rick started speaking slowly, lost in the memory. “But about a month ago we got a call, a kid whose mom was being beat to shit by the dad.” Daryl put down his half eaten slice of pizza, shifting in his seat. “Shane and I were the closest. Made it in time, got the dad away from the mom. I got in contact with them a few days ago, moms nearly recovered physically and the kid is doin’ well, only seven. It’s days like that make it worth it.”

Daryl was quiet for a while then asked quietly, “Dad in jail?”

“For now. Trial’s gonna be in another few weeks. There’s enough evidence he should go away for a while.”

“What evidence do ya need for that?” Daryl asked carefully.

Rick frowned. “Shane and I witnessed it. The wounds on the mom, and the kid. Mom’s made a statement and is willing to speak in court. That’s the problem in these situations, the victim ain’t ready to talk about it, usually in denial about how bad it is.” Daryl hummed. “Why?” Rick asked, concerned.

Daryl hesitated. “I got a friend, works at the bar. She got herself and her kid away from her piece’a’shit husband ‘bout four months ago.” Daryl chewed on a bite of pizza and his eyes darted up to meet Rick’s nervously. “Merle and I threatened him to stay away n’he did for a while, but las’ week I was pickin’ Sophia from school for Carol whilst she worked, and saw him. He saw me and ran, but I don’t trust him not ta try again. Plus, Merle’ll follow up on his threat and I really don’t fancy runnin’ a bar whilst he’s in prison for murder.”

Rick nodded, thinking about what could be done. “If it’s been months... she can report him, but I’ll be honest, unfortunately, unless she’s got detailed pictures and diaries of any wounds, it’s unlikely to go far depending on the guy. Has she got a restraining order on him?”

“No?”

“That can be sorted out. Harder to get a restraining order for the kid but possible. Would you be willing to make a statement?”

“Yeah. For Carol,” Daryl said quickly.

“Great. Why don’t you speak to Carol and call me soon as?”

“Alright,” Daryl nodded, “I need ya number or am I calling nine one one?”

Rick laughed. “You got your cell?” Daryl reached for it and Rick reeled off his number. “I’ll get the paperwork started tomorrow.”

“Thanks, that’s real good of ya,” Daryl said almost shyly.

“If I can help, I want to.”

* * *

It was just over a week later when Rick was on patrol, chatting with Shane. The other man had been acting strange for a few days now and Rick was getting bored of it.

He knew Shane and Lori were likely planning on telling him soon and was tempted to tell him there was no point when a loud ringing interrupted his thoughts. Rick pulled out his phone to see Daryl’s name. He considered ignoring it for now but also having an excuse to get away from Shane for a while was too tempting.

They were stopped for lunch so Rick stepped out of the car to answer.

“Daryl?”

“Rick? Hi,” Daryl’s gruff tone came through.

“You okay?” Rick asked concerned, in the few times they’ve met up over the last week, Daryl only texted.

“Yeah. Carol saw ‘im yesterday so she agreed. If ya was serious ‘bout helpin’ her?” Daryl asked. Rick could almost see him chewing on the side of his thumb.

“Yeah, course,” Rick said easily. “I’ve been doin’ research on it and there’s things I need to speak through with Carol. Do you both want to come to the station or should I meet you somewhere?”

Rick could hear murmuring for a moment then Daryl said, “Can ya come here? Carol’s house.”

“Not a problem, what’s the address?” Daryl gave it to him. “I need ta get back to the station to get my car but I’ll be there soon as.”

“S’fine, we ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Rick closed his phone, took a deep breath before getting back in the car with Shane. Pocketing his phone on the way back into the car. “I gotta be somewhere, let’s go.”

As Rick reached the apartment building, he noted the call box to get into the building and made a mental note to make sure the code was changed with the landlord, in case the husband knows it.

He pressed for the number Daryl gave him. “Yeah?” Daryl’s rough tone answered.

“It’s Rick.”

The door buzzed and Rick pushed it open, taking the elevator upstairs four floors.

Daryl was leaning out the door, a sweet smell wafting from it. Daryl narrowed his eyes, racking them up and down Rick. “Shit, were ya workin’?”

Rick shrugged and removed his hat. “This technically comes under my job description.”

Daryl hummed and stepped back. The room was small but well furnished with bright colours, various toys covering the floor where there was a young girl playing with two dolls and looked up at him curiously.

Standing across from him was a young woman, thin with short gray hair. She hugged her arms to her chest but stiffly held out a hand towards Rick.

“Officer… Grimes was it? Nice to meet you.”

“Please, call me Rick,” Rick said, tucking his hat under one arm and shaked her hand. “It’s Carol, right? Carol…”

“Peletier, but Carol’s fine.” A loud ringing pulled her attention away. “Excuse me a moment.” She rushed down the corridor.

Rick put his hat and the paperwork onto the back of the nearest couch. He could feel Daryl’s eyes on him and turned to see the other man was staring intently, like he was trying to figure something out.

“Hope ya got a sweet tooth,” Daryl said after a moment, the serious look gone as he leant against the wall, hands tucked into his jeans, his hair pushed back from his face. “She bakes when she’s nervous. Chocolate chip cookies.”

The girl came over to them and tugged on Daryl’s pants. Daryl glanced down curiously and she gestured for him to come closer. Daryl crouched down and turned so she could whisper in his ear.

“This is Rick, a friend of mine,” Daryl told her gently. Rick stared unabashedly, Daryl’s rough exterior didn’t seem to give much room for kids but the way he looked at her, Rick would believe she was his if he told him as much.

Sophia turned to him, face scrunched up. Rick crouched down and smiled kindly. “Sophia? It’s nice to meet you.”

She frowned at the hand and instead asked, “Are you gonna shoot my daddy?”

Rick stared, any words lost on his tongue. He looked at Daryl hoping for some help but thankfully Carol appeared beside them. “What makes you think that, sweetie?”

“You and Dare talking ‘bout making daddy go away… with an order and he’s a police with a gun…” she whimpered and rushed into Carol’s arms.

“No, no, sweetie. He’s not going to hurt daddy.”

Daryl cleared his throat getting Rick’s attention and gestured with his head to the corridor. Rick got up and followed Daryl around the corner and into a small kitchen where a batch of cookies were cooling on the side.

“Think it’d be best if I went home and got changed first?” Rick suggested. “I didn’t think.”

Daryl shook his head. “S’fine. She’s a smart kid, jus’ confused.” He picked up one of the cookies, wincing at the heat but continued to take a bite. “Want one?” Daryl asked through the mouthful.

Before Rick could answer, Daryl had already shoved one into his hand. Rick bite into it, nearly moaning at the sweet chocolatey taste. Daryl caught his eye, his going dark and he blushed when he realised Rick had seen him staring.

“S’good right? I’ve been tryna convince her to open a bakery,” Daryl said quickly, finishing his in two large bites and grabbed a second.

“What can I do to help?” Rick asked, grinning.

Daryl chuckled. “I’ll let ya know.”

Rick chewed on his cookie and then asked, “How old is Sophia?”

“Nearly six.”

Rick winced, he couldn’t imagine how she must feel, how confused she was right now. “Did her dad ever…”

“Once. S’what convinced Carol to get out,” Daryl explained, his eyes dark and angry all of a sudden. “But she was hurt bad, outta school for a few weeks. Already shy enough she don’t have many friends. Ain’t gone great for her.”

The door pushed open and Carol came into the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes at Rick and looked at the tray and then at Daryl who pointed at Rick, eyes wide in a mock innocence.

Carol rolled her eyes at him before turning serious, her eyes on Rick. “I’m very sorry Rick.”

“It’s fine,” Rick was quick to reassure her. “I should have gotten changed first. I didn’t think.”

Carol smiled kindly. “It’s okay. I think she understands but we’ll talk more later, she’s gone to her room for now. Has Daryl gotten you a drink or anything?”

“Ya want a drink?” Daryl offered quickly.

Rick laughed. “No, I’m good, thank you.”

Carol gestured for them to come back to the empty living room. Carol sat down on the armchair and Rick sat beside Daryl on the couch.

“So, Rick. What do you need from me?” Carol asked.

Rick grabbed the paperwork from where he left it on the back of the couch and put it on the table between them. “So first, are you divorced or still married to him?”

“Still married,” Carol said. “I’ve been worried about applying for a divorce for his reaction,” she admitted, playing with a thread of her jeans.

“Okay, that’s fine, you can do that at the same time.”

Rick proceeded to explain what Carol needed to do; filling out forms, contacting a lawyer, amassing evidence. Carol listened attentively, Rick tried to read her but she managed to stay completely impassive. Beside him, Daryl was chewing on his thumb, giving away his nerves about this, but listening just as attentively.

Carol only got nervous when he mentioned how keeping Ed away from Sophia would mean social services getting involved but she shouldn’t worry, they have no reason to take her away from Carol as far as he can see. She told him she works two jobs, at the bar and at a shop. Either or a babysitter had Sophia when she was working.

“Most of the time these things are cut and dry,” Rick said, coming to an end of his explanation, “but if he really fights back it could be more difficult. Is it likely he’ll hire a lawyer?” Rick asked.

“Yes, he… he has money.”

“Okay. I know somebody who owes me a favour, she’ll work pro bono. Andrea, she’s a civil rights lawyer, a good one. I’ll call her now. But first, how’s it sound so far?”

“Less intimidating that I expected,” Carol admitted.

Rick nodded. “I’ll call Andrea now, excuse me.”

* * *

Daryl watched Rick head back into the kitchen, pulling out his cell on the way.

He hadn’t been sure about calling him, since they talked about Carol the first time, they hadn’t mentioned her again since the first time that week. Yet Rick came immediately, he didn’t even know Carol and had clearly done a lot of research and seemed to be doing everything he could just to help her, even going as far as calling in a favour. He could believe Rick really did care.

His entire life he’d been taught to hate cops, never trust one, but he found himself growing really fond of Rick. Not just inside the bedroom.

Daryl shook his head, pushing away those thoughts and turned his attention on Carol.

“You alright?” He asked her gently.

“Yeah,” Carol smiled reassuringly. “Rick seems like a great guy,” Carol added, moving her eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Daryl rolled his eyes. “It ain’t like that.”

“I saw the way you two were looking at each other in the kitchen. I didn’t know cookie’s were an aphrodisiac.” Daryl glared at her and Carol held up her hands. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”

“Sophia okay?”

“Yeah,” Carol sighed, “She understands he was mean but sometimes he was nothing but a great dad. She wants him around.”

Daryl nodded and said softly, “Yeah. I get that.”

“Am I doing the right thing?” Carol asked, lifting her worried eyes to his. “Girls need a daddy.”

“You are,” Daryl said with certainty. “Nuthin’ stoppin’ you revokin’ it in the future. Not tha’ I think you should.”

Carol swallowed and nodded. She got to her feet, moving to tidy up Sophia’s toys whilst waiting for Rick.

Daryl picked up the envelope Rick had brought and glanced through the forms. It all seemed pretty straightforward to fill out.

Rick came back into the room. “She’s happy to take the case, I’ll give you her number and she’s asked if you can call her this evening?” Rick grabbed a pen from his jacket pocket and scribbled something down on the back of the envelope he brought the papers in.

“Thank you, Rick. This is awfully kind of you.”

“It’s nothin’, really. Let me know when you need me to serve papers to him, or anything else.” He wrote something else on the paper, a quick glance told Daryl it was his own number beneath the lawyer’s, Andrea. “There’s three copies in there by the way, so you can make some mistakes but I can get you more or you can get them from any court.”

“Thank you.”

“Before I go, you got the number for the landlord?”

“Why?”

“I was also thinkin’,” Rick hesitated looking between them, “I’ve got a son, he’s turning five in a coupla weeks. We’re havin’ a birthday party, bouncy castle and the lot. Bunch of his cousins comin’, around the same age. Think Sophia would like to come?”

Carol paused, a smile tugging at her lips. “That would be really good for her.”

Rick grinned. “Great, I’ll text Daryl the details and see you then?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Rick nodded, slipping his thumbs through his belt. “I should probably head back to work if that’s everythin’?”

“I’ll get you some cookies to take with you,” Carol decided, rushing to the kitchen.

Daryl watched Rick, surprised at the offer and asked before he could chicken out, “Ain’t your flat on the way back to the station?” He tried to bite off a cuticle on the side of his thumb.

“Uh, yeah, I suppose it is,” Rick replied, frowning.

“Ya got time, before ya need to be back?”

“I didn’t specify how long--” Daryl raised his eyebrows and slowly ran his eyes over Rick’s body. Rick opened his mouth in a small ‘o’. “Yes. Yes I do.”

Daryl grinned and went into the kitchen to let Carol know he was going out for a bit but he’ll be back. Carol slapped his ass and told him to have a great time and gave Rick a small box full of cookies to take home.

Daryl followed the old car, carefully avoiding the light blue smoke practically pouring out the exhaust. After five minutes of it, he sped up to Rick’s side and gestured for him to pull over.

"What?" Rick asked, opening the door.

"Smoke,” Daryl said. “Open the bonnet.”

"Yeah, I've been meanin’ to go to a garage about that,” Rick said sheepishly, reaching down to the leaver and the bonnet popped open.

" _Meaning to_?" Daryl repeated, pushing the bonnet all the way open and leaning over to look. Daryl reached into the PCV valve, hissing at the heat from the engine.

"Dontcha wanna let it cool down first?" Rick asked.

Daryl shrugged. "S'fine." He pulled it out and gave it a small shake, listening to the metal inside. "Broken. Go to a hardware store, tomorrow. Ask someone for a PCV valve for this car type. Most of 'em are the same. And just install it like this," Daryl showed him by putting the near dead one back in. "Easy. Five dollars."

"Oh. Uh, thanks." Daryl shrugged and closed the bonnet. "You a mechanic?"

Daryl shook his head. "Jus' know what I'm lookin' at. Better with bikes." He closed the bonnet and went back to his bike, following Rick the rest of the way to his apartment.

They had barely made it through the door when Daryl shoved Rick against the wall, pinning him with his own body, placing his hands on the wall either side of Rick’s head. Barely giving him any room for movement and raised an eyebrow, silently asking Rick if this was okay. Rick answered by wrapping his arms around Daryl’s back and pulling him closer, burying his face in Daryl’s neck, placing kisses up and down his collarbone. He could feel Rick getting hard against his hip.

Daryl felt his jeans be tugged open and a warm hand wrapping around him. An idea came to him; Daryl reluctantly nudged Rick’s hand away and opened Rick’s zipper, taking them both in one hand.

He watched Rick carefully, studying him. Rick moaned and babbled beneath him. Daryl loved how vocal he was during sex, it made things so much easier to know if he was doing something Rick didn’t like, or things he really did. Like this.

Daryl leant in, pressing their foreheads together. Rick lifted a hand, running it through Daryl’s hair, gently scratching his scalp and the other hand resting on his chest, thumb rubbing over his nipple over his shirt. Daryl sucked in a breath. “ _F-u-ck_.”

“Daryl,” Rick murmured, “Daryl, I’m gonna…”

Daryl increased the speed just a touch and moments later Rick jerked and Daryl felt a wet warmth covering his hand as his own pleasure built and grew until it exploded, making him gasp with the force of it, thrusting towards Rick a few more times until it stopped.

They stood still for a few moments, attempting to catch their breath.

Daryl grabbed for the bandana in his back pocket to clean off his hand and offered it to Rick as he tucked himself back in.

“Shit, this is my last clean work shirt,” Rick murmured. Daryl stepped away, laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	2. Maybe The Phone Lines Disconnected

Rick was just packing up to leave work for the evening when his phone rang again. Rick glanced at Lori’s name and worry shot through him. She never called him outside organising his allotted times with Carl.

“Lori, you okay?” he answered, holding the phone between his head and shoulder as he searched for his car keys.

“Hi Rick. I just wondered... are you free this evenin’ for dinner? I’ve got… I need to talk to you.”

Rick could feel eyes boring into him and glanced up to see Shane staring. He looked away quickly when he realised Rick had caught him.

“Yeah.” Rick bit back a sigh; he really wanted to keep living in denial. “I am, just finishin’ up now. Gonna head home for a shower and be over in about an hour?”

Lori agreed and cut off the phone. Rick pocketed his own and looked up to see Shane busying himself by tidying up his already spotless desk.

“Okay?” Shane asked, Rick could hear the nerves in that single word.

Rick thought about the day after he realised what was going on. How angry he had been and yet hadn’t been able to do anything about it, hadn’t sure if he wanted to.

He thought about how Shane had started tiptoeing around him, as though waiting for the damn to break. When nothing happened he’d started to relax - until now.

“Lori’s invited me to dinner.”

If he hadn’t known Shane so well he wouldn’t have thought anything of the way his shoulders tensed and he lowered his eyes. He probably wouldn’t have noticed his fist clenching and unclenching.

As he walked passed Shane, the other man reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “Rick--” Rick waited patiently, Shane’s hand hot against his shoulder, but he just sighed and lowered his hand. “Say hi to Lori from me.”

Rick couldn’t help his scoff as he walked away.

Lori was all smiles when he arrived. Carl was excited for Rick to be there, having dinner like a family. For a while Rick could pretend everything was okay. They ate and laughed around the dinner table; Carl told him all about his new teacher Mrs Mueller.

But then it was Carl’s bedtime and after Rick read him a bedtime story.

On his way back to the sitting room he heard Lori’s voice say, “Not yet… he’s readin’ Carl a bedtime story… no. no. I’ll call you afterwards... yeah.” Rick purposely trod on a squeaky floorboard. “I gotta go. Bye.”

Rick leant against the doorway with his arms crossed as Lori pocketed her phone.

“Shane?” Rick asked, deciding to jump straight to it.

Lori froze, her eyes going wide. “What?”

Rick sighed and came further into the room and perched on the arm of the couch. “I ain’t an idiot, Lori. I know why you invited me here today. Shane’s been actin’ all weird all week.”

“You… you know?” Lori repeated, horrified. “How… when…”

“Since a few days before I asked for a divorce. Weren’t hard to figure out.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Lori said in a near whisper. “Why didn’t you say anythin’?”

“I jus’... didn’t want to. Easier to live in denial,” Rick admitted. “Why you decidin’ to tell me now?”

“We weren’t gonna just yet. We stopped for a while,” she explained, speaking like it was a favour to Rick, like he should be happy about it. “Wantin’ to give us and you time.” Lori trailed off; she started picking at the tread of her jeans.

“Okay?” Rick said, prompting her to continue. “What changed?”

Lori’s hands stilled and moved to rest on her stomach. Rick froze, nearly asking her not to speak.

“Rick, I’m pregnant,” Lori blurted.

For a moment, Rick couldn’t breathe, his ears ringing. That single word repeating in his head, spinning.

“Rick, please, say something,” Lori said, her voice pulling Rick out of his head like a sudden stop making him dizzy with it.

“How long?” Rick asked, his voice sounding rough to his own ears.

“Three months.”

Rick closed his eyes, dropping his head into his too warm hands. They slept together one last time that night. Both of them needed closeness, knowing without words what was coming the next day. That was three months ago.

“Who… Do you know if… who--” He cut off, not sure if he wanted the answer. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the flurry of emotions. “Who’s the father?”

“I don’t know.”

“Does Shane know?”

Lori was quiet for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah. We agreed it was time to tell you a few days ago.”

Rick closed his eyes. Shane knew before  _ him _ . It was too much to hear.

He had wanted another baby but Lori said no and he had understood. They hadn’t been happy. They had gotten married too young and found they were less compatible with every year that passed. Lori needed stability, routine, stillness. Rick needed adventure, chaos, constant movement. It calmed him.

He loved his job, it often gave him that adventure he needed, but it wasn’t always enough. He enjoyed the unknown, what Daryl had said to him about sleeping under the stars sounded incredible to him, but Lori wouldn’t even go camping.

It caused more arguments than he cared to admit.

They didn’t think they should bring another child into that relationship.

But now, they were. She and Shane were going to, he would get to live with Rick’s son and maybe his other child.

Or maybe it wasn’t his. He couldn’t consider that, couldn’t let himself. His stomach churched, he didn’t want to deal with this. Not now. He stood up abruptly. “I gotta go.”

Rick ignored Lori shouting his name as he got outside and climbed into his old car, he needed to turn his mind off for a while. He felt sick when he realised the one person he usually called for was Shane.

He deliberated for only a moment before he called Daryl, the only other person that could turn his mind off for a while.

“Yeah?” Daryl grunted in answer. Rick could hear chatter, music, glasses clinking together.

“Daryl, you free tonight?” Rick asked, hope dying at the sounds behind him.

“Uh, working for another hour.”

Rick grinned. “That’s fine. See you then.”

He heard Daryl low snort amused and muttered an “A’right.” before cutting off the phone.

* * *

So desperate for a it, Rick barely gave Daryl a chance to walk through the door before Rick had him backed against the wall, kissing him feverishly, hands exploring lower. Daryl groaned and rutted into him, willingly taking the rough treatment from Rick.

Rick kissed up Daryl’s neck and then whispered, “I want you to fuck me.”

Daryl bucked against him, nodding veminantly. “Fuck, yes Rick.”

“Got myself ready whilst waiting for you,” Rick added, almost shyly.

“ _ Christ _ ,” Daryl groaned, those words going straight to his groin, eyes fluttering closed. Rick was never so up front and desperate, he didn’t know why but he knew what Rick needed.

He grabbed Rick, spinning them around, Rick gasped but let Daryl grab him by the belt and drag him towards the bedroom.

Daryl pushed Rick to sit on the edge of the bed and knelt between his legs. Rick stared down at him, heat flashing through his gaze but he made no move to push him away as Daryl’s nimble fingers quickly undid the zipper of his jeans.

“Daryl--” Rick moaned his name, but Daryl ignored him in favour of taking Rick’s hard length in his mouth without any more build up. “ _ Fuck _ !”

Daryl hummed around him, listening to Rick’s moans and near begs, hands threading through Daryl’s hair - not quite holding him there. Daryl could feel him shaking with the need to just thrust into his mouth.

Daryl placed a hand on his hip keeping Rick still as he slowly took him apart, taking him to the edge and then stopping, over and over again until he was begging Daryl to fuck him.

Only when his words were incomprehensible babble did Daryl pull away and nudge Rick into position, onto his hands and knees. Rick shook with anticipation until Daryl  _ finally _ fucked into him. He hadn’t realised how hard he was until now.

Daryl knew he wasn’t going to last long, he gripped at Rick’s hips and sped up until he felt Rick tense up, tightening around him. Just the thought of how he made Rick cum untouched took him over the edge and he came with a few gasped breaths, leaning over Rick.

After a moment, Daryl pulled out with a gentle gasp and took the condom to the bin before falling onto the bed beside Rick.

“Better?” Daryl asked knowingly.

Rick rolled over looking sheepish. “That obvious, huh?”

“Yeah. But I’ve been there,” Daryl admitted. God how many times has he been there, just needing a good fuck, turn his brain off for a while. That first night with Rick had been exactly that. He could feel Rick’s eyes on him and suspected Rick knew, but he didn’t ask.

They fell into a comfortable silence for a while. Over the last few weeks, they had become fast friends and it was easy to just be together. Neither feeling like they needed to talk.

“Lori’s pregnant,” Rick blurted out.

Daryl faltered, taking a moment to remember who Lori was. “Shit. Yours?”

“She doesn’t know.”

Daryl fell quiet. He’d watched Merle in this position more times than he could count but there had never been feelings with him, leaving Daryl at a loss of what to say.

“I want to be happy about it,” Rick said. Daryl frowned, staring at Rick, unsure why anybody would be happy about his ex-wife being pregnant. “He or she will still be Carl’s brother or sister. Is it weird I don’t want to know if they’ll be mine or Shane’s?”

“Don’tcha think Lori or Shane’ll want to know?” Daryl asked.

“Probably,” Rick sighed. “I gotta see him tomorrow. Fuck.”

“Call in sick?” Daryl suggested.

Rick rolled his eyes but Daryl could see he was considering it. “Nah, I’ve been avoidin’ it for months. ‘Bout time I face it. Face him.” Rick was quiet for a moment, his thoughts whirling. Daryl patiently let him find the words. “I’m more pissed at Shane than Lori,” he admitted quietly. “I know, it don’t make much sense. Lori and I weren’t happy, but Shane? That came outta nowhere, n’ now Shane gets to spend time with my kid.  _ Kids _ ? It ain’t fair.”

“That’s shit,” Daryl agreed.

Rick breathed out a sigh. “Sorry. Fuck you signed up for sex, not to be a threapist.”

Daryl chuckled. “S’fine. Been told I’m a good listener.” Carol had said it a few times; saying it wasn’t just that he was quiet but he always looked like he was giving the person his full attention, even if he wasn’t.

“Are you and Carol gonna bring Sophia to Carl’s party?” Rick asked suddenly, a desperation in his voice to change the subject.

Daryl tried to hide his wince; a kids party wasn’t exactly his scene but Carol wanted him to go with them because she didn’t know anybody. “I… I dunno. Probably, fer Sophia.”

“Great.” Rick sighed and sat up. “Fuck, I need to shower. I’ll only be ten minutes if you wanna grab a beer or somethin’ to eat.”

* * *

That night, after Daryl left - after a few drinks, a second round, and a few more drinks - Rick struggled to get to sleep despite the late hour, dreading the next day at work.

He could no longer pretend everything was okay and Shane was his friend. He would have to face reality and wasn’t ready for that.

Instead, he pushed his thoughts towards Daryl. Daryl had known exactly what Rick needed and gave it to him and then listened to his ranting without complaining. He couldn’t believe his luck in having met the other guy; he had quickly become what Shane could no longer be.

He wondered what would happen if one of them met someone and wanted to stop the friends with benefits, would they stay friends? He didn’t know what Daryl would want; he barely knew anything about the guy, only that he’d clearly led a difficult life with a shitty dad yet he had grown up to be a good man.

Rick was near exhausted when he got to work the next morning, relieved to see Shane wasn’t there. After talking to Tara, apparently he had gotten in early and was off on a job.

Rick was catching up on his paperwork and trying to ignore his banging hangover when Daryl’s very familiar rough drawl shouted, “I told ya! It weren’t me!” through the precinct.

Rick’s head shot up and caught Daryl’s wild eyes, relief shooting clear through them when he recognised Rick. He was being half led, half dragged in by Shane and Simon, an officer Rick hated.

Rick jumped to his feet and rushed over. “What’s goin’ on?” he demanded, stepping in the way, close enough that his arm was brushing Daryls hoping it calmed him slightly.

Shane froze, his eyes widened minutely before he forced a casual mask over his face. Simon however, tried to push past him, Rick put a hand on his chest stopping him in his tracks.

“Hey, I asked you a question.”

“Dixon here’s been accused of beatin’ the shit outta this guy,” Simon spat. “Jus’ bringin’ him in for questionin’.”

“I ain’t beat up nobody, Rick!” Daryl said desperately. Both officers' eyebrows rose, looking between the two men.

“We’ll figure it out,” Rick said softly, he believed Daryl but couldn’t say so outright. “What happened, Shane?”

“Last nig--” Shane started roughly. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Last night, an Ed Peletier was attacked outside Woodbury - the bar. He woke up about two hours ago. He didn’t know who it was but he accused Dixon here, said he’s got it out for him, that he stole his wife.”

“Last night?” Rick repeated. “What time?”

Shane quickly searched through his notes. “He said, it was about two AM when he left the bar.”

Rick let out a breath of relief, already reaching for his handcuff keys as he said, “It weren’t him.”

“Told ya,” Daryl spat. Rick shot him a look, Daryl fell quiet but kept scowling.

“What? How do ya know?” Shane asked, confused.

“He was with me.”

“What? You know him?” Shane said at the same time as Simon asked skeptically, “All night?”

“Nearly three when he left,” Rick explained as he stepped behind Daryl so he could get to the cuffs. He wondered if Daryl would let him put them back on in the near future.

“What were you doin’ all night?” Simon asked, suspiciously.

Rick hoped he wasn’t blushing when he said, “Havin’ a few drinks.” It wasn’t a complete lie - they did have a few drinks - after they finally got out of bed.

Rick quickly unhooked the cuffs and handed them back to Shane as Daryl rubbed at his wrists.

“Till three am?” Simon scoffed.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Rick said slowly, glancing at Shane as he spoke, “but I got some news yesterday I didn’t expect. Needed a  _ friend _ .”

Shane looked away quickly, shame radiating from him as Rick took a deep breath to calm down, suddenly angier than he should be.

“Do you have any idea who woulda attacked Ed?” Rick asked Daryl.

“Loada people. He’s a dick n’anyone that comes into the bar likes Carol. She was workin’ las’ night. If she mentioned the restrainin’ order yesterday, anyone coulda tracked ‘im down.”

“Carol?” Shane asked.

“Ed’s wife,” Rick explained. “She’s gettin’ a restrainin’ order on him, I met her yesterday to help her out with the forms.”

“Why didn’t you tell us you were havin’ drinks with Rick?” Shane asked.

“I was waitin’ for the lawyer before I said anythin’ to you,” Daryl spat, scowl deepening at having to talk directly to Shane. “You chargin’ me or what?”

“No,” Rick said sternly. “I’ll take ya home?” Rick offered, Daryl nodded.

Rick grabbed his jacket and led Daryl down to his car.

“Thanks,” Daryl muttered once they were safely in the car. Only then did Daryl push his hair out of his face and relax. Rick smiled, glad Daryl was clearly comfortable with him.

“Why didn’t you tell ‘em you had an alibi?” Rick asked, confused. “An alibi ain’t incriminating, you coulda said it without a lawyer present.”

Daryl looked out the window, thumb to his mouth and the tips of his ears were turning crimson. Rick barely heard his mumbled, “Didn’t wanna out ya.” Daryl lowered his thumb and added, “Just woke up, weren’t thinkin’ of a reason I’d be at yours so late.”

“Thanks,” Rick said, touched by the gesture, “But I’d rather you not get arrested if I can help.”

Daryl hummed. “That Walsh, he the one tha’ slept with your wife?”

Rick rensed, looking sidewards at Daryl. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, he’s a dick.” Rick let out a surprised laugh. “Sorry, I know he’s ya friend.”

“No, no. You’re not wrong.” Rick could feel Daryl’s curious eyes on him, he often forgot how intense Daryl’s eyes were. “Thought I was okay with him and Lori. Turns out, I ain’t.”

“Ain’t surprised. I’d wanna kill ‘im. Takin’ what’s mine.”

“But she weren’t mine. Not by then.”

“Still shit.”

Rick laughed. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Daryl hummed in response.

“Why’d you think Ed blamed you?” Rick asked quickly, wanting to get the subject off his failed relationship.

Daryl accepted the change of conversation without question. “Thinks I’m sleepin’ with Carol. Any excuse ta get me in trouble, y’know.”

“He musta known you’d have an alibi?”

Daryl shrugged. “I ain’t usually around people when I ain’t workin’, it’s damn luck I was.”

“You said there’s loads of people that coulda done it?”

“Everyone likes Carol at the bar,” Daryl admitted, “She’s like everyone’s mom. If she mentioned the restrainin’ order, I can think of a bunch of people that would wanna fuck ‘im up. Or he coulda just pissed some randos off.”

“Right,” Rick murmured deep in thought.

* * *

Rick took a deep breath, pushing down the nausea from a late night drinking, and pushed open the door, stalking straight towards Shane.

Shane stood up the moment he approached, he stood defensive yet Rick could see the fear in his eyes as clear as though he was screaming.

Rick gestured with his head and they went outside together, there was one person smoking. She looked at them both and seemed to sense the tension and quickly stubbed out her smoke, heading back inside.

"Rick--" Shane started.

"Let me speak," Rick said strongly. Shane snapped his mouth closed. Rick stood close, glaring at him, trying to find the words. "I'm sure Lori told you, I already knew. I've known for months." He held Shane’s gaze, seeing the confusion and shame pass through them. "When I figured it out, I wanted to break your jaw, let you choke on your own teeth."

“Why didn’t you?” Shane asked, his voice thick with emotion. “You just stayed quiet, workin’ with me. Not a word?”

Rick turned away, running a hand over his mouth trying to find the words. Despite thinking about what he was going to say all night he faltered.

“Because it was easier,” Rick said. “Daryl kept tellin’--”

“Daryl?! You’ve spoken to some redneck about this?”

Rick tensed. “Yeah, and what?”

“And--”

“Who else am I gonna talk to?” Rick spat. “My wife or my brother? Oh wait,” Rick said, his voice breaking at the end.

“I don’t know what to say,” Shane said. “I want to say I’m sorry but…” He finally looked up at Rick. “I’m not.”

They both fell quiet for a moment, neither able to look the other in the eye.

“Do you love her?” Rick asked.

“What?”

“Do. You. Love. Her?” Rick repeated, punctuating every word.

“I…” Shane started pacing, running a hand through his curly hair and finally stopped, facing Rick. “Yes.”

“And the baby?” Rick asked. “If it’s mine?”

Shane frowned. “That don’t change nothin’. Carl’s yours, don’t mean I don’t care for him.”

A burst of fear churned in his gut.  _ Was _ Carl his?

“He  _ is _ yours,” Shane said as though reading his mind. “At least… we only-- the first time was months ago. Not years.”

Rick sighed, they had known each other so long, Shane knew what he was thinking. The betrayal hit him again, harder than ever. He sucked in a shaking breath.

“What are we gonna do?” Shane asked quietly, begging.

“We ain’t married no more. I ain’t gonna try’n stop you,” Rick told him.

“What about  _ us _ ? You gonna swap partners?”

Rick hesitated, he had thought about it a few times but until today he had thought things might be able to go back to the way they were; now he finally understood they wouldn’t. He couldn’t be around Shane right now, couldn’t look him in the eye and wonder if that baby would have the same brown eyes.

Rick nodded. “Yeah, I think I need to right now.” He watched as Shane’s face fell, waves of emotion crashing over him.

“Rick--”

“What did you want me to say?” Rick asked sharply. “Nah, it’s fine. Let's go get dinner and be one big happy family?”

“I don’t know,” Shane admitted. “I just--”

Rick shook his head and turned away. “Not yet, man.”

* * *

It was a couple of weeks later Daryl found himself standing in a suburban neighbourhood in front of a large house with a white picket fence.

He could hear children screaming, music playing, adults talking. It all felt very unlike him. But Sophia was practically vibrating with excitement beside him. He just wished Carol was with them. That morning she had been called last minute to work a shift; needing the money she couldn’t say no, which left Daryl to take Sophia to the party.

The door opened to a woman with long brown hair. She smiled kindly looking between the three of them.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” She stared at him expectantly, her polite smile faltering. “Uh, I’m Daryl, this Sophia,” Daryl added quickly, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. He resisted the urge to start chewing at his thumb nail.

“Oh,” she smiled, more genuine this time. “Rick mentioned you were coming. Come in,” she stepped back to let them. “I’m Lori.”

Daryl froze, suddenly wondering if this was a good idea after all. He and Rick fucked a bunch of times and they seemed like pals but that didn’t give him a right to meet the guys family. His ex-wife and kid. This had to be weird. He couldn’t stop the glance down to her stomach, it was slightly swollen but her loose top kept it well hidden for now.

Sophia’s tight grip on his pants kept him grounded to the reason he was here. Daryl smiled politely at Lori as she stepped back to let him in.

Lori led him down the corridor lined with pictures of her, Carl and Rick, and into a large kitchen. The breakfast bar in the middle was covered with various snack foods which Sophia stared at with wide eyes, and then out into the long back garden where there was a bouncy castle at the back, children’s excited screams coming from it.

Beside it someone was doing facepaints, a clown blowing up balloons, and a large pile of presents. There were multiple adults, milling around holding plates of food and alcohol.

Daryl looked around bewildered, he’d barely had presents outside of whatever Merle could steal, let alone all of this.

Most people were wearing nice jeans and shirts; Daryl suddenly felt under dressed in his normal cargo pants and dark green vest but he forced the feeling down, he hadn’t ever cared for his appearance, why should he start now?

He caught sight of Rick holding a beer and talking with someone. He was wearing loose jeans and a clean white shirt, it was a huge difference to the usual tight clothes Rick tended to wear around him.

“Rick,” Lori called, approaching him “your friend Daryl made it?”

Rick turned and brightened immediately. Daryl felt a blush creeping up his neck at the look.

“Hey! You made it!” Rick said excitedly, throwing one arm to the side as though going for a hug but quickly dropped it. Daryl almost wished he had and then wondered where that had come from, he hated hugs. “Carol?”

“Hadta work.” At Rick’s frown he added, “not the bar, second job. She still asked me to come, Sophia’s been so excited.”

Rick grinned. “That’s fine. You seen Carl?” he asked Lori.

They both looked around until he caught sight of a small brown haired boy with freckles who was running around with a balloon in the shape of a giraffe.

“Carl,” Rick called him over. The five year old looked up and smiled widely, running over to them.

“This is Sophia,” Rick put a hand on her shoulder, “She doesn’t know anybody here, can you show her around?”

Carl nodded and took Sophia’s hand. “Wanna see my castle?!” He asked, she looked up at Daryl, he attempted to give her a reassuring smile, so Sophia let Carl drag her towards the bouncy castle.

“So, how do you know Rick?” Lori asked once the kids were gone.

“Daryl and I met a few weeks back, hit it off and been drinkin’ buddies since,” Rick said quickly. “Speakin’ of, do you want a beer?”

“I don’t drink in front of Sophia,” Daryl said automatically.

Lori looked surprised whilst Rick just smiled. “Soda then? C’mon, I’ll show you where the drinks are.”

Daryl eagerly followed Rick, if only to get out of the crowd of people who were all looking at him like he was trash.

Daryl felt eyes boring into him and looked across to see Shane standing with another parent, frowning at him.

Once they were inside, Rick let out a heavy breath.

“Alright?” Daryl asked.

"Yeah, fine." Rick grabbed a soda for Daryl and a beer for himself. He glanced around making sure they were alone and then said quietly, “Shane and Lori ain’t official but everyone knows. Had enough of the pityin’ looks and ‘how do you feel?’ questions since he got here.”

Daryl smirked and asked cheekily, "But how  _ are _ you feelin' 'bout it?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Changed my mind, Sophia's welcome but you’ve gotta go."

Daryl knew he was joking but his heart skipped a beat, wondering for a second if Rick was serious until he grinned.

“Too much free food to leave,” Daryl said, still smirking.

Rick laughed. “Course. I know what’s more important here.”

Daryl took one of the slices of pizza and gestured outside. “Why’s he here? He don’t have kids does he?”

“Nah, Carl wanted him here,” Rick said, he tried to hide it but Daryl could hear the bitterness in his tone. Before Daryl could think of what to say, Rick sighed and said, “There’s plates here if you want more.”

Daryl quickly took up the offer, never one to refuse free food. He piled the paper plate high with various snacks, belatedly remembering to pick up a few things Sophia would like, before following Rick back outside.

Back to the distasteful looks and people wondering why he was there, why Rick was walking close enough that their shoulders brushed together. He wondered if Rick noticed.

Daryl ignored the other people to focus on Sophia screaming with joy as she slid down the slide, quickly followed by a giggling Carl and they turned to run back inside.

“Never been on a bouncy castle,” Daryl commented.

Rick glanced around and then leant in closer to whisper, “Lori doesn’t know this, but I lost my virginity on a bouncy castle.”

Daryl laughed surprised. “Sounds awkward, man.”

“It was, but fun. It was the only place we could be alone without her parents walking in. You free tonight?” Daryl rose an eyebrow. “What? I can show you how fun it is.”

“It’s in your pregnant ex-wife’s back garden,” Daryl reminded him.

Rick laughed. “Touché.”

Daryl hesitated, glancing around to once again make sure nobody was listening into their conversation. “Carol’s home at eight. I’m free after tha’.”

Rick grinned around his beer. “Sounds good. Oh I meant to ask, has Carol got a date yet?”

He had served the temporary restraining order to Ed the week before. Rick hadn’t liked the look of the man from the moment the door opened. He was still bruised and in a sling from the beating he received - they hadn’t found the attacker and if Rick hadn’t tried very hard, well, that was nobody's business.

“Yeah. Three weeks.”

“Great. If she wants me there, let me know.”

Daryl smiled. “Thanks.”

Daryl turned his attention back on Sophia watching as another girl approached her and offered out a balloon, Sophia hesitantly took it and started looking at it from every angle. She giggled and hugged the other girl and they took each other's hand. The other girl also grabbed Carl’s hand and they ran together towards the balloon maker.

“Ah, to be a kid,” Rick muttered. “How easy it is to make friends.”

“Don’t think I was tha’ good at it,” Daryl muttered. “Who’s that girl?”

“Gracie. Her parents live down the road.” Rick looked at him, smirking slightly. “I should introduce you to her dad, Aaron, he owns a bike mechanic shop. Owns some famous bike. Harley, uh... fat guy?”

Daryl stared, surprised. “Ya don’t mean Fat Boy?”

Rick shrugged. “I guess so? C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

Rick led him across the garden to a young guy with short curly blonde hair, and a longer tamed beard, piercing blue eyes, and a kind smile. He was standing with a taller black woman, she had dreadlocks, and was laughing at something the guy had just said.

“Aaron, Michonne,” Rick greeted, offering the guy a handshake-turn-half-hug and hugged the woman. “Daryl here wants to touch your bike.”

Aaron looked him up and down, smirking. “If that was a euphemism let me check with Eric. If you were serious, you like bikes?”

Daryl stared, wondering if the man was really flirting with him. Aaron rose an eyebrow when he didn’t speak for a few moments too long.

“I think you broke him,” Michonne said with a laugh.

“Uh, yeah.” He shook his head, focusing on why he was talking to him. “Own a Triumph Ninehundred Thunderbird. Rick says you got a Fat Boy? Nineteen Ninety or?”

“Yup, one of the first off the rack,” Aaron said with a smirk. “One six nine zero cc.”

“Yeah,” Daryl murmured, “I gotta touch it.”

Aaron laughed. “Well, if Rick doesn’t mind us stepping out for a bit, I’m just next door, we can go and… touch it. But just so you know, I’m in a happy partnership.” He winked despite his words.

Daryl stared, shocked into silence at the man’s brazen flirting. Was it so obvious he was gay that the man was willing to take that risk? The instinctal words: ‘fuck off’ were on the tip of his tongue but he was interrupted by Rick patting his back and laughing.

“Go ahead,” Rick told them. “I’ll keep an eye on Sophia for ya.”

Daryl glanced between the two men, unsure how to take Aaron. What was a well-to-do guy doing flirting with white trash like him? But the chance to see a Harley Fat Boy overrode his confusion.

He went to let Sophia know he was stepping out for ten minutes. She seemed nervous but when she took one of his chicken nuggets and Gracie asked her to get her face painted together, Sophia seemed okay with it.

He looked around in time to see Aaron kissing some tall blonde man on the lips, in front of everyone, the children, nobody even looked twice or complained.

Daryl looked away quickly, realising he was the only one that was staring.

“So how do you know Rick?” Aaron asked once they started walking down the street.

“Drinkin’ buddies,” he lied suddenly very aware again how weird it was to meet his fuck buddies friends. “Ain’t known him long.”

“He’s a good guy,” Aaron said seriously. “When Eric, my partner, and I first moved into the neighbourhood there were a few attacks on our house, “faggot” painted on our house, shit like that.” Daryl clenched his fists, anger pooling into his gut. “Most of the police acted like it was nothing, but Rick went out of his way to help us. Whether that was because we were neighbours or not, I don’t know. But he found the dicks and got them prosecuted.”

Daryl smiled. “Good.”

Aaron looked pleasantly surprised at his response. “People mostly backed off after that. Instead we just get to hear hilariously offensive things.”

“Good thin’ my brother ain’t here.” Aaron rose an eyebrow. “He’ll say somethin’ then remember and try to change what he’s sayin’.”

“Remember?” Aaron asked.

Daryl winced, he wasn’t sure why he was being so open with this guy he barely knew, yet something made him trust the guy. It always was easy with people that were open with him. “‘Bout me,” he mumbled.

“Ah.” He stopped suddenly, Daryl frowned. “This is me.”

Daryl glanced up at the house that from the outside was very similar to Lori’s with a Honda sitting on the front drive.

“Keys to the garage are inside,” Aaron told him, leading through the front door where the walls were covered in pictures of Aaron, the tall blonde - Eric he presumed - and the young girl, Gracie. There were toys on the floor and as they went into the kitchen he saw kids drawings on the fridge, leftover food on the side, and a calico cat stretched out on the side, eyeing Daryl warily.

Daryl held his hand out to the cat, after a moment it bumped its head against his hand, instantly purring.

“Sorry about the mess,” Aaron said, looking around sheepishly.

Daryl shrugged it off, the mess didn’t bother him, he just couldn’t get past the domestically of it all. This wasn’t something he ever thought would be possible for gay men, to live this perfect lifestyle.

Aaron grabbed some keys and opened a door at the side of the kitchen revealing a large bright garage, the walls were lined with number plates, there was a tidy workstation in one corner but the rest of it was a mess with tools and bike pieces.

The Harley Davidson Nineteen Ninety Fat Boy took pride of place, shining brightly. Polished and perfect, the space around it completely clean.

“Holy shit,” Daryl murmured, reaching out to touch it but paused, looking towards Aaron first.

Aaron smiled and nodded. “Go ahead, sit on it.”

Daryl only hesitated for another moment before he climbed aboard it, holding the handles. “How fast yer got ‘er?” Daryl asked.

Aaron laughed. “One eighty.” Daryl sucked in a breath, staring down at the handles, imaging doing that. “I rode her across the country a few years back, before Eric and I settled down.”

“I’d love that,” Daryl admitted.

“Wanna take her for a spin?” Daryl jerked his head up, staring at Aaron with wide eyes.

“Serious? Ya don’t even know me.”

Aaron shrugged. “Any friend of Rick’s is a friend of mine.”

Daryl stared, bewildered at the offer. “How’d you know I won’t just ride off?”

“Your kid is at Rick’s house,” Aaron said bluntly, barely holding back amusement in his voice. “You’re friends with a cop. And I think I’m pretty good at telling the difference between a good person and a bad person.”

Aaron nodded and held up a key. Daryl hesitated for another moment before he climbed aboard and started her up; he nearly moaned along with the roar of the engine.

The wind whipped at his face and hair, bitingly cold despite the warm September afternoon. He just wished he could go faster, take the bike to its limits. On the third lap he saw Rick standing outside the front of Lori’s house, with Sophia waving at him.

He reluctantly took the bike back to Aaron’s garage. The other man was grinning widely.

“You like?”

“Oh yeah.” Daryl walked the bike slowly back to where it had been before climbing off.

Aaron stared at him for a moment, considering. “You should come by my shop sometime,” Aaron suggested. “I’m in the process of building my own I think you’d like to see.”

“Where is it?” Daryl asked.

Aaron told him the address.

Daryl blinked, surprised. “Ya don’t mean Barrington Bikes?”

Aaron grinned. “You heard of it?”

“Yeah man. People at my brother's bar are constantly ravin’ ‘bout ya place, best tune up they ever had.”

“You ever come by?” Aaron asked, brow furrowed trying to remember.

Daryl shook his head. “I can usually fix my own shit.” He gave Aaron back the keys. “I’ll come by sometime. We should get back.”

* * *

Rick watched Daryl leave with Aaron; he was glad Daryl had come despite it being a bit weird having his friend with benefits around his ex-wife and kid. Rick enjoyed talking with him and had quickly found himself looking forward to spending time with Daryl even outside the sex. He had already become what Shane could no longer be since Lori and maybe more.

He hoped whatever happened, he would be able to keep Daryl as a friend.

It wasn’t long until the roar of an engine revved loudly, echoing up and down the entire street, shooting past the house. Rick stepped back inside and made it to the window in time for the second round, seeing Daryl leaning forward, a rare wide grin plastered over his face.

“Sophia!” Rick called across the garden, finding the girl playing with Carl. “Hey, wanna see Daryl ride past?”

Sophia nodded, letting him lead her outside in time for Daryl to shoot past for the third time, he noticed them and waved. They waited another couple of minutes for Daryl to come around again, but when he didn’t Rick took Sophia back into the garden.

“I meant ta ask, how long you been buddies with Dixon of all people?” Shane asked, stepping up to his side.

Rick bit back a sigh, he hated that Shane was here but Carl wanted him here so he couldn’t say no. It was tense enough working with the guy, thankfully Abraham approved the partner change, he was now with Tara whilst Shane was partnered with Simon.

After looking into it, they decided to wait until the baby was born for the paternity test, mostly because none of their insurances would cover it and they couldn’t afford it without. Once the baby was born it would be much cheaper. It just meant months of not knowing, of wondering and acting like they were both the father.

“Since we went to his brother’s bar. What does that mean,  _ of all people _ ?” Rick asked tersely.

“How many times we arrested his brother?”

“He ain’t his brother.”

“Even so. A cop and a redneck walk into a bar, sounds like the start of a bad joke.” Shane laughed at himself.

Rick rolled his eyes. “He’s a friend.” He was glad to see Daryl and Aaron coming back through. Daryl’s keen eyes searched the garden, only relaxing when he caught sight of Sophia and then smiled at Rick.

It was a relief that Aaron had immediately taken to him. Daryl had been so clearly uncomfortable at the party. Rick found it fascinating to see the man so shy when he was so confident in bed when it was just them, alone. But he could understand when he saw the distasteful looks many of the other guests were giving him, even going so far as to pull their kid slightly away when Daryl walked past, even when he was following Aaron.

Daryl pretended not to notice but Rick could see the twitch in his jaw every time.

Aaron however, whilst talking a mile a minute. led Daryl straight over to where Eric was sitting with Gracie.

Rick turned away from Shane without a word and joined them just in time to hear Eric say, “He doesn’t even let me touch it!”

“That’s because you’ll break it. Daryl clearly knows to treat her more carefully than the Queen’s china,” Aaron argued. At Eric’s pout he added, “Fine, I’ll take you for a ride tomorrow.”

“I’m going to guess you’re talkin’ about the bikes right?” Rick interrupted Eric’s response. “Because there are kids around.”

All three men gave him an unamused glare, only Aaron betrayed them by laughing.

* * *

That same evening, Daryl arrived at Rick’s place not long after dropping Sophia off and was immediately dragged to the bedroom.

He knew the party had stressed Rick out, the other man was charged, desperate. Similar to the same night he found out Lori was pregnant but this time he wanted to fuck Daryl and he was not a strong enough man to say no to that.

“I’m ready,” Daryl gasped, glancing over his shoulder at Rick from his position on his hands and knees.

Rick didn’t need to be asked twice, he pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the bed sheet.

Daryl turned back, opening his legs a bit more as he heard the crickle of the condom packet and then moments later Rick was pushing into him.

Daryl gasped as he was breached, slowly at first, Rick held his hips, thumb rubbing gentle circles into his thigh until he was all the way in. Rick paused, both of them breathing heavily.

“Okay?” Rick asked.

Daryl nodded. “Yea. Fuck me, c’mon.”

Daryl lowered his head, losing himself in Rick, at how full he felt, Rick’s hands tightly gripping his hips bruisingly tight, getting faster and harder with every thrust until his pace was relentless and Daryl was practically screaming under him.

“Fuck, Rick, Rick,” Daryl groaned, he was already so close.

Then Daryl felt his shirt shift, riding up his back. He usually wore tight shirts that didn’t do that but he had dressed for the party and hadn’t thought about it when he left Carol’s.

He balanced himself on his left arm and reached around with his right, desperately trying to pull it down before it went too far, hoping Rick hadn’t noticed, he often closed his eyes during sex. Daryl could only hope.

Until Rick made a noise of confusion and slowed down. Daryl nearly pulled away, needing to get away before Rick lifted his shirt. Rick let go of his hip with one hand--

_ One hand slowly pushed up his shirt. _

_ “The hell are you doin’?!” Daryl spat, glancing over at Negan who knelt behind him, balls deep. _

_ Negan paused, his pace faltering. “C’mon man, we’ve been doin’ this for weeks now, what are you hiding? Bear fur?” _

_ “Nuthin’. Just stop.” _

_ He thought Negan was going to but instead, Negan swiftly pushed his shirt up. Daryl desperately tried to struggle away but Negan grabbed his shoulder with that hand. _

_ “Ho-ly  _ shit _ ,” Negan whistled. “I get why you didn’t want me seein’ this.” _

\-- and pulled the shirt back down, making sure it was set before continuing his relentless pace, his hands shifted closer to Daryl’s waist so that his thumbs were holding the shirt in place.

For a moment, Daryl couldn’t breathe. Rick didn’t even hesitate.

Desperate to stop thinking about it, Daryl moved his weight onto one arm and took his hard length in his hand and started pumping in time with Rick’s thrusts.

It was enough to switch his brain off and focus on just the feeling of Rick moving inside of him, his hand moving on his cock, just the right speed, twisting and moving just right.

It was all nearly too much and then he was cumming, gasping with the sheer force of it.

Rick let go and pulled away thrusting a few more times until he followed. Leaning over Daryl, putting his weight on Daryl’s back. They stayed like that for a moment until it grew uncomfortable and Daryl shifted.

Rick grunted and pulled out carefully heading straight to the waste bin, dropping the condom within before falling into the bed beside Daryl with a satisfied sigh.

Daryl hummed in agreement, dropping onto the bed and rolled onto his back, but now he could think past ‘Fuck. Yes. More.’ his mind was spinning, Rick had pulled his shirt down and held it there. It was so thoughtful, Rick didn’t seem to hesitate, he just did what Daryl wanted without question. His heart swelled, Rick cared about his wants and needs, it was an almost painful realisation.

Nobody had ever displayed that kindness towards him; he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about it.

A small voice told him how exactly he felt about it. How he had started feeling towards Rick when he started to help Carol without question without even knowing her, he knew it was Rick’s job but the man went above and beyond, taking the case without hesitation.

“You okay?” Rick asked suddenly, pulling Daryl from his thoughts.

Daryl nodded. “Fine.”

He could feel Rick’s eyes on him and glanced over at him to see him staring at Daryl, brow knitted together. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, no. That was good.”

“Okay…” Rick trailed off but his frown stayed in place making Daryl want to explain just to make that go away.

He reached for the tissues Rick had started keeping on his bedside table to clean himself off as he tried to find the words.

“Yer the only guy that ain’t… tried to peak. We’ve been doin’ this for what? Over a month now?” He gestured vaguely at his shirt. “Had an opportunity.”

Rick didn’t take the offered tissue, his frown deepened at that confession anger flashing in his eyes. “You mean people have  _ forced _ your shirt off before?”

Daryl nodded. “I was with a guy… weren’t too long ago,” he sighed, “he was a dick.”

Rick sucked in a breath. “That’s shit, man.” He took the tissue but held Daryl’s gaze for a moment, “I won’t lie, I’m curious, but I promise I won’t do that.”

“Yeah.” Daryl surprised himself to find he really believed Rick wouldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	3. But If I Had One Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a brief referance to sexual assault of a minor near the end.

It was curiosity that took Daryl to Aaron’s workshop only a few days after Carl’s party. Daryl went in the morning before he was supposed to go to Carol’s for lunch.

As he pulled up, he couldn’t help but gape at the name, written across the top of the small store.

Barrington Bikes.

In only a short few years this shop had become famous around these parts, even to go so far as people traveling down from Atlanta to bring their bikes here.

It was small and unassuming from the outside, a closed garage door on the left and the entrance to the shop on the right. Daryl went in there first where there was a ratty couch and then a desk across the entrance where a young guy with long brunette hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and piercing blue eyes stood behind the desk and smiled politely at him.

“Hey. How can I help?” he asked, his voice soft and not sounding very southern, like Aaron.

“Uh, Aaron told me to stop by?” Daryl said, unsure all of a sudden. Had Aaron been serious? What did he expect, to just awkwardly say hi?

The guy frowned and glanced out the door. “With your bike? What’s the problem?”

“Nah. Uh, I’m Daryl, we--”

“Daryl!” Daryl tensed up at the unexpected shout. “Aaron mentioned you.”

“He did?” Daryl said surprised.

The guy pulled open the door at the side desk and held out a hand to him.

“He did, I’m Paul. It’s good to meet you!”

Daryl took the offered hand, unsure why Paul sounded so excited to meet him. “Uh, yeah, you too?”

“C’mon through.” He pulled back and led Daryl through the backdoor into the main garage.

The room was deceptively large compared to the outside, the walls lined with drawers, cabinets, and desks. Tools and various bike pieces laying on the desks, some nearly organized, others more of a pile of tools. In the middle of the room there were multiple bikes on stands, in various states of being built.

Aaron was kneeling by one, frowning at it, the side fairing removed revealing the engine.

“Oi, Aaron!” Paul shouted.

Aaron looked up, the curious look quickly turning to a bright grin when he noticed Daryl.

“Daryl! I was wondering when you were gonna show up!” He pulled a rag out of his back pocket to wipe his greasy hands on.

“Been busy,” Daryl said apologetically.

“No worries. Good timing though, could use a pair of fresh eyes,” Aaron said shifting to the side. “Come take a look at this. I’ve been having issues balancing the carburettors with it being six cylinders. Any ideas?”

Daryl thought for a moment, crouching down to take a closer look. “You managed to jerry rig a tool to help?”

“What sort of tool?” Aaron asked curiously.

Daryl frowned, surprised Aaron didn’t know the answer running this shop. “Yeah, just get some vacuum gauges and old tubing, make sure they’re calibrated and it works a treat. You got any? I’ll show ya how?”

Aaron nodded and led Daryl to a worktop near Paul who was still leaning against the wall by the open reception door. Aaron gestured to Daryl to sit whilst he looked around to find the requested parts.

“What do you do, Daryl?” Paul asked after a few moments.

“Work at my brother’s bar.”

Aaron dropped the requested parts in front of him and stepped back.

Daryl was able to work quickly; he’d had to do similar things multiple times for his own cheap-ass bikes before he managed to save up for his current one. He forced himself to ignore both Aaron and Paul’s keen eyes watching him, he wasn’t used to an audience.

Once done, Daryl took it to the bike and connected it up to the carbs, started the engine and watched the floats level off as he adjusted the screws. “See?”

“Nice job, Daryl,” Aaron said, grinning.

Daryl shrugged and started disconnecting the tool. “Ain’t the first time I’ve had ta do somethin’ similar. Jury rigged shit usually work better than some expensive shit.”

He glanced up in time to see Aaron and Paul exchange a look. Daryl wondered if he was being made fun of.

“Who taught you?” Aaron asked suddenly.

Daryl stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “No-one.”

“You taught yourself?” Paul asked, mouth open.

“Mmhmm.”

The two men shared a look again, Daryl shifted suddenly self-conscious; they probably went to some college or some shit, and he didn’t even finish school.

“You ever built one from scratch?” Paul asked.

Daryl shook his head. “Would love ta though.”

“Tell me what you think of this,” Aaron said, gesturing again for Daryl to follow. He led Daryl to one of the bikes frames at the otherside of the room, and at closer inspection Daryl could see it was slightly more than a frame with a few parts connected.

“What do you think?” Aaron asked.

Daryl crouched in front of it, he could tell most parts were a mix of a cruiser and scrambler so far, it was well put together but a long way from completion.

“That’s a real interesting set of pipes you got there,” Daryl commented, reaching out to run his fingers over the cool metal. “You said custom, yeah?”

“Yup. Been building it from spare parts,” Aaron told him. “Do you enjoy your job, Daryl?”

“S’a job,” Daryl murmured.

“Would you like one you will enjoy?”

Daryl paused and slowly stood up, turning to face the grinning man and tried to make sense of the words. “Huh?” He looked over at Paul but the other man was just smirking, bright blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

“See, Eric and I are looking into adopting another kid,” Aaron explained. “His name’s Adam, he’s only six months old and his Mom abandoned him.”

“Uh, congratulations,” Daryl said, unsure where Aaron was going with it.

“And well, with Gracie I missed so many milestones. I don’t want to work so much. Paul and I decided to hire someone else, we’ve poured our hearts and souls into this place and didn’t want just any old grease monkey. You’ve got the passion for it, couldn’t believe my luck meeting you at Rick’s.” Aaron paused, giving a moment for his words to sink in. “The shop’s doing well enough that we can hire someone else and afford for me to take time off work. So, what do you think?”

“You’re offerin’ me a job?” Daryl asked, needing it clarified.

“We are,” Paul spoke up. “How does fifteen dollars an hour sound to start? We can review that in the future.”

Daryl stared bewildered. The idea of working around bikes all day and being paid for it was too good to be true. He looked between the two men, waiting for the punchline but they were both just watching him, waiting patiently.

“We might need you to be flexible with hours,” Paul added. “And how are you with sports cars? We get a few in a month.”

“I ain’t got no degree or nuthin’,” Daryl thought to tell him. “Only know what I do from tinkerin’.”

“You just gave me the solution to a problem that took me a day to figure out. It took you two minutes,” Aaron reminded him.

“Ya knew how to do that?” Daryl asked, waving the tool.

“Yeah.” Aaron chuckled. “Just figured it was a good time to see what you could do. After our first conversation I knew I wanted you, Daryl.” Paul laughed and Aaron paused. “That came out weird.”

“I… I help my brother at his bar,” Daryl said slowly, his head spinning. He couldn’t leave the bar? Merle would be pissed.

“I’m sure he can hire someone else.”

“Fifteen?” Daryl repeated.

“Is that not enough?” Aaron asked, unsure.

“No. No. It’s good,” Daryl said quickly. “I… I need to-- can I have time to think ‘bout it?”

“Take as long as you need,” Aaron said seriously. “Here, I’ll give you my number, and you can call me whenever you decide.”

***

Daryl climbed back on his bike. His head was spinning wondering if he was high and had dreamt that. A job offer at a mechanic’s felt too good to be true. He’d never considered leaving Merle’s bar, never knew what else he would want to do but this came close to something he might enjoy, something he was good at.

Excitement wasn’t something he was used to but the idea of working there filled him with it.

As he rode towards Carol’s, he realised the first person he wanted to tell was Rick. He quickly rationalised it by realising he didn’t have that many people he could call.

Once he parked up, he balanced himself on his bike and called him. Only once Rick answered that he realised it was silly. Why should Rick care if he got a job offer?

“Daryl?” Rick repeated, concern entering his voice.

“Hey, uh, I just…” He hesitated. He was probably interrupting Rick at work just to tell him something as trivial as being offered a new job? Rick was going to be annoyed. He couldn’t think of anything else to say in time, though, so he still told him, “Aaron just offered me a job at his shop. Sorry, uh, dunno why I called. Shoulda texted.”

“Congratulations!” Rick said excitedly. Daryl breathed out a sigh of relief when Rick didn’t tell him that he was an idiot for calling. When Daryl didn’t say anything, Rick added, “I take it you want it?”

“Yeah. I mean, I guess.”

“That’s really great Daryl. We need to celebrate.” There was a moment of silence and then Rick said softly, “I get off at six. Seven to gimmie a chance to get changed. Wanna grab a drink?”

Daryl faltered. He had expected ‘come over and celebrate’, not grab a drink.

“If you want?” Rick added, unsure.

“Yeah,” Daryl smiled to himself. As much as he enjoyed the sex, hearing Rick wanted to spend time with him not just for sex felt strangely good. Something in his chest constricted at the thought.

“You ever been to Hilltop?” Rick asked. “The guy who runs the place, Gregory, he’s a piece of shit, but great beer.”

“Ain’t been there,” Daryl said, “but know where it is. Could pick you up on the way through?”

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“A’right. See ya.” Daryl cut off the phone and went up to Carol’s apartment, a smile plastered across his face.

Daryl let himself into the apartment, he was still shocked she gave him a key, the trust she placed in him that day was unbelievable.

“Dare!” Sophia shouted, abandoning her doll and ran over to hug his legs.

“Hey kiddo,” Daryl patted her back awkwardly; he didn’t think he would ever get used to the easy affection she showed towards him. He often reminded himself he was the only regular male figure in her life, and he knew how important it was to show her that men could be kind, but when she was old enough, he would show her how to kick ass.

“Daryl?” Carol came out of the kitchen grinning and pulled him into a hug. “You’re smiling, what’s happened?”

“Wha’, I can’t just smile?” Daryl asked, trying to hide it but the corners of his mouth kept trying to work their way back up.

Carol rose an eyebrow. “Not like that you don’t.”

Daryl stared at her for another moment, building the tension before he grinned and said, “I got offered a job.”

Carol gasped. “What is it?”

“Mechanic. Y’know Barrington Bikes? Everyone in tha bar talks ‘bout it.”

“I do! Oh congratulations!” She pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you! We need to celebrate!”

“Rick and I are goin’ out for drinks tonight,” Daryl said.

“A date?”

Daryl hesitated, his automatic answer was no but he could see it, a drink with Rick, maybe they would share a cab home. Rick’s place would be first but before Rick could get out the car, he would kiss Daryl sweetly-- No. Daryl quickly pushed those thoughts away. He couldn’t go there.

Daryl stared. “What? Two guys goin’ for a drink - what makes ya think it’s a date?”

“Because I know you, Daryl,” Carol said slyly, “You barely say ten words on a good day and recently half of them have been Rick.”

Daryl felt the blush creeping up his neck. “I’ve said more’n ten words today.”

“Don’t change the subject, do you want it to be a date?”

“He’s jus’ a friend.” He hadn’t told her any more than that, he didn’t want to put Rick in an awkward position.

Carol stared at him for another few moments, searching. She had been there through his shitty non-quite-relationship with Negan, and how he lost himself for a while afterwards; sleeping around with anyone and everyone that would so much as look at him for too long. She knew how he felt about relationships and understood why he couldn’t let himself go there.

So instead of pushing, she nodded. “Whatever you say. Gimme a hand chopping.”

***

Daryl texted that he was outside, and when Rick didn’t respond he went up to the apartment.

Rick answered the door looking completely disheveled, his hair a mess, his shirt dirty with what looked like food and puke, and his eyes were bloodshot.

“Daryl? Shit, fuck. I forgot.”

Daryl rose an eyebrow. "You alright?"

“Daddy!” The shout interrupted Rick's reply.

"Shit, sorry." Rick turned away leaving the door open and rushed around the corner to his bedroom.

Daryl stood awkwardly in the doorway for a minute unsure if he should leave but when he heard a loud crash followed by Rick's cursing and more crying, he came into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

He found Rick in the second bedroom. He’d never been in before but he expected it wasn’t usually a mess of clothes, some clean, some probably not. Rick was swaying and bouncing with Carl in his arms, there was a lamp broken on the floor beside the bed which Rick was carefully avoiding.

Rick was whispering gentle words into Carl’s ear. Daryl left the room and started making Rick a coffee ready for when he came out ten minutes later.

"He's asleep," he whispered.

Daryl silently held out the coffee and Rick made a face that was remarkably like his orgasm face.

"Did God send you?" Rick asked taking it from him and took a long mouthful before saying, "I’m so sorry. Lori called ‘bout ten minutes after you did sayin’ the school called and Carl's been sick. So’s Lori, with the baby and all she asked me to get him for a few days. But fuck." Rick ran a hand down his face. “It’s been a manic day. I shoulda called you, I’m sorry.”

"S'fine, ain't your fault. If ya want, go have a shower, I can keep an eye on him." He offered without thinking, he looked after Sophia a few times when she was sick and Carol had to work so it wasn’t like it was difficult.

It was only as Rick stared at him that Daryl realised it might be weird. They fucked occasionally; Rick had no reason to trust him with his kid.

"If you're serious then I'm going to hell,” Rick said.

Daryl frowned. "Huh?"

"For fuckin’ an angel."

Daryl snorted. "I ain't no angel but I'm serious."

“Thank you.” Rick leant in to press a chaste kiss against his lips and then turned away quickly. “I won’t be long!” He shouted back.

Daryl stood, frozen, watching him go, one hand coming up to touch his tingling lips that sent waves of pleasure through him.

It wasn’t like they never kissed but it was always feverish, desperate. It had always been a means to an end rather than kissing for pleasure. There were never unthinking kisses, it was never gentle, caring. Not like that. He didn’t think anyone had ever kissed him unthinkingly.

Daryl quickly lowered his hand; he was being an idiot, Rick was just tired.

Deciding to write it off as nothing, Daryl took off his boots so he wouldn't make any sound and wandered to the bedroom that Carl slept in.

The small brunette boy was curled up in the bed, whimpering. He only had the hallway light to see but Daryl managed to clean up the glass from the lamp as best he could without a vacuum, and made an effort at tidying the bedroom, throwing most of the clothes into the laundry basket.

When he was done he turned back to see the boy staring at him, bright blue eyes wide.

"Hey kid," Daryl greeted him, suddenly wary. Carl just woke up with a strange man in his bedroom. Daryl went still not wanting to scare him.

"Where's daddy?" Carl asked, the words coming out muffled with a blocked nose.

"Shower. Imma friend of his, Daryl." He stuck his hand out making the boy giggle.

"I 'member you," Carl said matter of factly. “You were at my birthday.”

Daryl rose an eyebrow, he hadn't expected the boy to remember him from a single short meeting. “Oh.” Daryl reached out to touch his forehead, he was still very warm and clammy. “How ya feelin’ kid?”

"You talk funny," he giggled.

Daryl lifted his eyebrows, if it was an adult he'd get angry but the boy was so innocent, just stating a fact.

"That ain’t a feelin’," Daryl said. Carl giggled again.

***

Rick switched off the shower, guilt for taking advantage of Daryl being his only motivation. He knew he had been much longer than intended but the shower was needed.

He got dressed into clean clothes and walked out into Carl’s bedroom to check on him but paused outside the open door when he heard giggling. Walking as silently as possible, he glanced into the room to find Daryl sitting crossed legged opposite Carl on his bed, making silly faces at the boy whilst Carl laughed brightly.

The room was only lit by the hallway light. Rick stood carefully at the edge so he didn’t block it out and make himself known, giving him a chance to see how the low light and shadows accentuated Daryl’s high cheekbones, long hair pushed back from his face, he had trimmed and shaved his short beard.

Rick stared, surprised at the other man. Daryl was usually so stoic, rarely showing any emotion. Even when he laughed or smiled, his eyes were always guarded.

He was surprised to get his phone call earlier that day, Daryl had left his apartment so quickly after his confession the few days before:

_ “Yer the only guy that ain’t… tried to peak,” Daryl had told him, eyes wide, vulnerable. Tense as fear thrummed through him. “We’ve been doin’ this for what? Over a month now? Had an opportunity.” _

It was clear Daryl was terrified of Rick doing the same but he hoped Daryl believed him when he promised not too. He didn’t want Daryl to feel uncomfortable with him, ever. Just the thought of it made his stomach churn.

Daryl pulled at his own ears through his hair and poked his tongue out, Carl practically screamed with laughter and Rick couldn’t stop his own chuckle.

Daryl dropped his hands and turned wide eyes to him, nearly as comical as the faces he had been making at Carl.

"Dad!" Carl wiggled out of the bed and ran to Rick.

"Hey, you feelin' better?" As he stepped further into the room Rick realised it had been tidied, floor cleaned of all glass. He stared in wonder. Daryl had done this for him, just because he was tired?

His chest constricted, something pulling in him making it hard to breath all of a sudden.

Carl shrugged. “Still yucky. Daryl’s funny though.”

Rick cleared his throat, hoping he looked somewhat normal and asked cheekily, “He is, is he?”

“Yeah, he made faces like this,” Carl pulled at his lips, “and this,” he pushed his nose back.

Rick caught Daryl’s eye. “I’d love to see that.”

“I bet ya would,” Daryl said, a dangerous glint in his eye, but Rick just grinned challengingly.

For a moment, they stayed like that. Rick’s grin faded and Daryl slowly flicked his tongue out to lick his bottom lip, Rick found himself staring at it.

Then Carl yawned loudly, interrupting the sudden heated staring contest. Rick pulled his eyes away to focus on his son.

“We should let you sleep more.” Rick leant in to kiss his forehead.

Daryl left the room to give him a minute to tuck Carl back into the bed.

Only once they were back in the living room did Rick pat Daryl’s shoulder. “Thank you for this.”

"S'nothin'."

"Feelin' human again is somethin'," he said whilst stifling a yawn.

Daryl chuckled. "Didn’t catch that?" Rick flicked the other man’s arm only making him laugh again.

They sat in silence for a while and Rick found himself thinking about the man sitting beside him. The grumpy redneck with a heart of gold. Offering to look after his son despite having expected to go out for a few drinks, and didn’t just keep an eye, he cleaned up and then actively played with Carl, made him laugh.

Carl was the most important thing in his life, for someone to care for him as Daryl did meant a lot.

He looked over at the man, smiling.

“What?” Daryl asked, frowning, eyes suddenly vulnerable.

“Thanks,” Rick said, reaching out to pat Daryl’s knee.

Their eyes meet and Daryl suddenly goes very still.

For a moment, they stayed like that with Rick’s hand resting on Daryl’s knee and Rick suddenly felt too hot, for the second time that day Rick couldn’t breathe. He wanted to close the gap, to kiss him sweetly, to explore him in ways they haven’t yet, ways they had unspokenly agreed not to because it was too personal.

They had kissed in the past, it wasn’t like a Pretty Woman situation, but he had never wanted to  _ just _ kiss Daryl, for hours, like teenagers on a first date.

His hand suddenly felt too warm on Daryl’s knee, yet he didn’t want to move it.

Daryl glanced down at his lips and Rick started to move in.

A phone ringing made them both jump and pull away, moment over. Daryl looked away, flushing as Rick grabbed for his cell.

“Hello?” Rick answered, frustrated with her for reasons he couldn’t quite put into words.

“Sorry Rick, did I wake you?” Lori said.

“No. Just--” Rick shook his head, where had this come from? Daryl was a good friend that was all. He wasn’t ready for anything more than the benefits. “You okay?”

“I’m still not great,” Lori said roughly, “been asleep most of the day. How’s Carl?”

“He’s fine, asleep. Don’t worry ‘bout us, I got the time off.”

“Thank you. I’ll call you if I feel better.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. See you soon.”

As he cut off the phone, Daryl stood up abruptly. “I, uh, I better go.”

“Oh.” Rick tried to quell the sudden disappointment growing in his gut. “Alright. Hey, I didn’t say, congratulations by the way.”

“Thanks.” Daryl smiled.

“We’ll go out for that drink soon, yeah?” A date? Rick’s mind supplied then he quickly pushed the thought away. Daryl didn’t date. Neither did he want to, everything was too complicated right now. What they were doing worked just fine.

“Yeah,” Daryl agreed, smiling that same shy smile.

***

It was Daryl that texted him only two days later,  _ want that drink tonight? _

Rick smiled down at his phone, replying in the affirmative and giving a time. Despite looking forward to seeing Daryl, Rick found he was nervous in a way he hadn’t been since that first time.

“Someone’s in a good mood?”

Rick glanced up to see Shane standing by his desk. He desperately tried to hold onto that burst of happiness from seeing Daryl’s text. “Yeah.”

“I, uh, I was wondering, games on tonight. Simon’s comin’ over to watch. You wanna join?” Shane asked, nervously.

“Sorry, got plans with Daryl tonight.”

His phone buzzed and he looked down at Daryl’s reply of  _ lift? _

Rick chuckled.  _ Yeah, thx _

Rick glanced up in time to see a strange expression pass over Shane’s face. “Maybe next time?” Shane asked, it took Rick a moment to remember what he was talking about.

“Maybe.” Rick could no longer see himself sitting across from Shane, laughing and just having a good time. Lori and the baby would always be between them now.

Rick ignored whatever Shane was going to say in favour of getting up and joining Tara in the breakroom to make a coffee and hope no calls came out causing him to be late to meet Daryl. Thankfully, he got out on time and went home to have a quick shower, making it out just in time for the knock on the door. He answered in the towel and flushed pleased as Daryl looked him up and down.

“C’mon in, I’ll just be a minute.”

Daryl smiled shyly at him, hands pushed deep in his pockets and stepped inside.

Rick hesitated as he tried to decide what to wear, he usually went for tighter clothes around Daryl because he liked how the man looked at him when he did, but to dress up would make this feel like a date. Was it? Rick wondered. Did he want it to be?

He went for a simple beige shirt and jeans, and found Daryl leaning out his window, smoking.

“Hey.”

Daryl glanced around sheepish. “Hey. Sorry.”

“S’fine,” Rick said easily. It wasn’t the first time Daryl had a smoke leaning out his window. “You ready?”

He stubbed the smoke on the wall outside and glanced down to make sure there was no one there before dropping it and smiled the same shy smile at Rick. Rick wondered what had gotten him so shy, but then again this wasn’t something they usually did. They fucked, they talked, Daryl went home. And sure Rick, wanted to fuck him again, but he also wanted to celebrate Daryl’s accomplishments.

They made it outside and Rick saw Daryl had brought his bike. Rick grinned at the idea of sitting on the back of that again, this time he might get to enjoy being pressed against Daryl. Last time he had been too nervous, unsure if he was being an impulsive idiot, and well, too horny to think straight.

Sitting on the back of the bike eliminated the need for conversation, Rick just enjoyed having his arms around Daryl for most of it, only letting go and gripping the back of the bike once they neared the bar.

They pushed open the door and a burst of stuffy heat hit Rick, the music loud but not uncomfortable. Due to it being a Tuesday night the bar wasn’t too busy, making it easy for them to get drinks and find a table near the back.

“Congratulations,” Rick said, holding his bottle up in a cheers motion. Daryl tapped his bottle against Rick’s, smiling.

“Thanks, man.”

“You told Merle yet?” Rick asked, curious.

Daryl snorted. “Hell naw.”

“Don’t think he’ll take it well, huh?”

Daryl scoffed. “I’m thinkin’ more of just not goin’ to work n’ waitin’ till the dumbass figures it out himself.”

“Good luck,” Rick laughed. “Y’know Aaron pulled me aside at the party. Asked what I’d think ‘bout hirin’ you.”

“Serious?” Daryl asked, genuine surprise etched over his face. Rick nodded. “What did you say?”

“I ain’t known you long but I’d hire you.”

Daryl sipped at his beer again, an attempt to hide a smile but Rick caught it. “Thanks, man.”

Rick shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

“Y’know, I ain’t got no qualifications, didn’t expect a job,” Daryl admitted, surprising Rick. It was rare for Daryl to open up with anything. Only then, when Rick realised how little he knew about Daryl, did he want to know everything.

“Aaron obviously thinks you know what you’re doin’,” Rick said encouragingly.

Daryl smiled gently, the mask he often wore slowly slipped away. He shifted in his chair, eyes downcast for a moment then looked up at Rick and asked, “How’s things with Shane and Lori?”

Rick barely held back a groan. They were the last people he wanted to think about right now. Lori was starting to show and more people were asking questions.

“Did you know cops gossip worse than teenage girls?” Rick asked instead, taking a few large mouthfuls of his beer.

Daryl chuckled. “Yeah?”

“I dunno how much they know, but they know somethin’s different with Shane and me. They ain’t subtle.”

“Sorry I mentioned it,” Daryl said, sounding genuinely apologetic.

Rick smiled and shook his head. “S’fine. Just… embarrassing, y’know.”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“So what happened with Aaron?” Rick asked.

Daryl shrugged. “Asked me ta fix a problem.”

They quickly lost themselves in easy conversation. It was when Daryl went to buy the fourth round that Rick couldn’t help but watch Daryl saunter to the bar, unable to keep his eyes off that perky ass. Daryl leant against the bar waiting for the barmaid and glanced back, smiling shyly when he realised Rick was watching him.

Rick found himself smiling back, the look wasn’t heated or hungry like most of the time, instead it was just calm, his heart started beating faster in his chest as Daryl held his gaze until the barmaid took his attention.

The same feeling from before came creeping up on him and Rick didn’t want to take his eyes off Daryl. Wanted to kiss him and hold him tight, wanted to tell Daryl how amazing he was and how happy for him Rick, and just happy in general.

Shock came over him as he realised: Daryl made him happy.

Sure he knew next to nothing about the man but he wanted to. Daryl had started off as a distraction from his life, and as much as Rick tried to convince himself they had just become good friends, he started to wonder if maybe his conviction in that was just an attempt to hide something more.

As Daryl approached, Rick felt himself crashing to the ground and hadn’t even realised he was falling.

Daryl looked away as he approached, something strange in his eyes. He placed two bottles on the table and stepped back muttering about needing a piss.

***

Daryl practically ran to the bathroom, Rick was staring at him so intently he didn’t know what to think of it. He needed to get away, to clear his head and he couldn’t go for a smoke because Rick could join him outside.

Daryl stood over the urinals to piss, Rick’s face in his mind.

Rick had the same look as he did when he nearly kissed him. Something changed that moment on the couch and Daryl didn’t know what to think of it, only that it terrified him.

Did Rick want more than what they have now? With  _ him _ ? A fucking grumpy redneck?

That small thought caused his heart to jump.

“Ho- _ ly _ shit. Daryl Dixon,” an all too familiar voice drawled, interrupting his thoughts and filling his head with fear.

Daryl tensed, glancing around to see Negan, the other man was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and a shit-eating grin plastered across his clean shaven face.

Daryl quickly looked away, zipping up his jeans, all thoughts of Rick momentarily forgotten.

Despite his instincts telling him to keep Negan in full view, Daryl forced himself to turn his back to wash his hands, yet he still angled himself so he could see Negan in the mirror.

Undeterred by Daryl’s silence, Negan continued, “Thought that was you sitting across from Mr White-Picket-Fence. Had to check.”

“By followin’ me in ta the bathroom like a fuckin’ perv?” Daryl spat, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as he felt.

Negan smirked. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Daryl clenched his jaw and turned around but saw Negan was standing by the paper towels. “You remember don’t you? How hard I could make you cum? Make you  _ mine _ ,” he spoke lowly.

“I ain’t nobody’s,” Daryl spat. Sucking in a breath, Daryl pushed away his fears. He was being an idiot, Negan couldn’t do anything to him, not any more. He grabbed a paper towel and stepped back, well aware that Negan was still staring at him.

“What about Mr white-picket-fence out there?” Negan asked, his smarmy smile still in place.

Daryl ignored the questions and tried to walk past him but Negan pushed himself off the wall, not quite standing in his way but enough. He slowly ran his eyes up and down Daryl’s body. Daryl desperately tried to stay still and not show Negan how uncomfortable he was, he couldn’t show weakness.

“Has Daryl Dixon become a family man?” Negan asked, laughing like it was the most unbelievable thing he’d heard. Daryl clenched a fist. “Because that is a hilarious image. You driving a minivan? Ha!”

“Move,” Daryl ordered, his voice a low growl.

Negan didn’t budge, his smirk only grew and said, “Or what… you  _ want _ that life with him?”

Daryl swallowed, a lead weight in his stomach as Negan got it right. Aaron and Eric flashed through his mind, they had managed it. Why couldn’t he?

“I--”

Negan took a step forward, Daryl couldn’t stop himself from stepping back. Negan laughed.

“C’mon, look at you man, can you imagine yourself with him? Clean cut… what is he? An accountant?” Negan didn’t wait for an answer and said, “Whatever. Clean cut him, and  _ you _ . Not like us, we fit. Didn’t we?” He stepped forward again and Daryl couldn’t bring his legs to move. “You ain’t good enough for men like him, white trash, ain’t going anywhere but that bar of your brothers. You know I never cared for that though, don’t you? I accepted that you ain’t worth much more than that.”

The door opened suddenly, the guy that walked in frowned at them both, snapping Daryl back to life. He pushed past Negan, hearing his smug laughter as he left the bathroom and rushed back to where Rick was waiting. His good mood immediately gone, from one conversation.

“I gotta go,” he told Rick without sitting down.

Rick looked up, eyes wide. “What? Why?”

Daryl looked away before he could see the same intensity in Rick’s eyes, and instead grabbed his favourite winged vest he left on the back of the chair and stalked out of the bar.

Negan was right, what was he doing. Acting like he was on a date? Rick has a son and might have another child. Why would he want Daryl around them? He was trash.

He cursed Carol for getting into his head, he cursed Rick for that smile directed at him, for being a great guy and getting Daryl to fall for him.

He cursed himself for letting his guard down. He never should have gone to Rick’s that second day.

Daryl walked as fast as he could, desperate to get away from the bar, away from Negan.

The last couple of months have been great, he had been happier than he could ever remember. Rick made him happy as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he wanted Rick. He wanted that job, he wanted a house and a life, he wanted a garage where he could build a bike. He wanted what Aaron and Eric had.

He didn’t deserve that.

Only when they were at the edge of the car park did Daryl stop, the anger pushing through him, he needed to do something, he had to get it out. Before he could think about it, he kicked at a nearby pole surrounding the car park. Pain shot through his leg and he grabbed at his ankle. “Fuck!”

“Whoa, you okay Daryl?” Rick asked, worriedly.

Daryl jumped, he hadn’t heard Rick’s footsteps.

He spun around to glare at the other man. “Why you followin’ me?!” he shouted.

Rick looked taken aback but otherwise didn’t flinch away from his anger.

“I was concerned,” Rick said gently.

He cursed himself again for not paying attention, he could hear a squirrel climbing a tree in the forest, yet he couldn’t hear Rick following him in those heavy boots.

Daryl turned away again, starting to walk away. “Daryl, Daryl stop!”

When Daryl ignored him, Rick grabbed his wrist and pulled him to a stop. Daryl tensed and clenched his other fist. Fear shooting through him, he knew he could fight Rick off if need be but that didn’t stop the memories flooding through him, different hands, gripping his wrist, bruising him.

His dad.  _ “What? You gonna cry fer Mommy? Your fault she’s dead, ya know tha’ yea?” _

His dad’s friends.  _ “Christ, your kid is pretty enough to be jailbait, Will. Sure he’s not a girl?” _

Negan.  _ “Where the hell you going? You ain’t got nobody to go to.” _

Rick. “Are you okay?”

The contradiction between his memory and Rick’s words felt like a stab directly in his chest.

“Let go of me,” Daryl spat, dangerously.

Rick did so immediately, only then did Daryl let out a breath.

“What just happened?” Rick asked.

Daryl stared at him, he sounded so concerned, like Daryl meant something to Rick, but he knew Negan was right. Rick just got divorced. Daryl was just a rebound.

“Why do you care, huh?!” Daryl shouted, unable to stop, his anger getting the better of him. “I ain’t nobody to you but a good fuck!”

“You’re a friend,” Rick argued, his eyes hard.

Daryl shook his head. “Nah. I’m just a distraction so ya don’t have ta think ‘bout yer ex-wife bein’ pregnant with yer best friend’s kid!”

Rick stepped back, eyes wide. “Daryl--”

Daryl spun around and stormed off, this time Rick didn’t follow.

He walked all the way home, his pace quick, legs burning by the time he remembered he’d ridden his bike to the bar. Knowing it would be safe until morning, Daryl collapsed into bed but exhaustion refused to take him.

What the hell was he doing, playing house with Rick, looking after his kid? Fucking him when they were alone. Going out for drinks.

Considering getting a new job? He couldn’t leave Merle after everything he’s done for him.

Except, he wanted it, he  _ really _ wanted it but even if he took it, it wouldn’t last. Nothing good happened to him. He just didn’t deserve good things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	4. I'd Do It All Over Again

Rick sipped his beer, glancing around Hilltop. It had been less than a week since he was there with Daryl but his work colleagues had managed to convince him into coming out with them.

Shane was talking to him, and Rick tried to focus on the words but instead found himself staring past Shane at the table he had been sitting with Daryl.

Over this week Rick realised he missed Daryl more than he thought he would after such a short time of knowing one another. The worry didn't help. Rick didn’t understand what happened; he thought they had been having a good time, but Daryl seemed spooked when he came out of the bathroom. He had sent a few texts asking if he was okay and what happened but Daryl wouldn’t answer him to explain.

Despite knowing there was no reason Daryl would have finally responded to him now, Rick had to check. He pulled out his cell and scrolled through his texts to Daryl over the last week. His finger hover over the call button, he had only tried to call once and unsurprisingly Daryl didn’t answer.

“Oi, Rick, you actually listening over there?” Fingers snapped in front of his face.

Rick jerked and looked up only to see the entire group staring at him. “No,” he answered honestly, not daring to pretend he knew what was said.

“You staring at your dick or your cell?” Abraham asked, laughing.

Rick rolled his eyes and put his cell on the table in answer.

“Knew it! Secret girlfriend?” Tara asked.

Rick’s heart leaped suddenly wondering what everyone would say or do if he responded with: ‘Close. Guy I hope to be a boyfriend.’

Instead, he smirked along with them and said, “No secret girlfriend.”

“Secret boyfriend?” Abraham prompted, causing a roar of laughter.

“Are _you_ someone’s secret girlfriend?” Shane asked. The laughter only got louder and Simon clinked his glass with Shane's.

Anger pooled into his belly but Rick bit back his angry response more than used to ignoring 'locker room talk'. Nobody noticed that he wasn’t laughing with them, Rick however did notice Tara wasn’t laughing.

She caught his eye and rolled her own over dramatically. Rick managed a small smile but it didn’t help to quell the irritation at his so-called friend.

“I’m gonna get some air,” he decided, wanting to get away from the group before he said something stupid.

Rick got to his feet but the alcohol went straight to his head and he stumbled. Beside him, a still grinning Shane grabbed his arm to steady him. “Whoa, man. You okay?”

Rick shook off his hand and spat, “I’m fine. Let go of me.”

Daryl’s face flashed into his mind: _“Let go of me!”_ terror shining in his eyes. His hand still tingled with the memory of the heat of Daryl’s wrist under his hand.

Rick pulled his arm away from Shane roughly and stormed outside. Without thinking about it, he ended up standing in the same spot Daryl stood across from him and said such horrible things.

Rick wanted to be angry at the other man for what he said, but how could he be when Daryl wasn’t wrong? At least that was how it had started, a quick fuck and a good distraction but not anymore. Not after that almost kiss, after Rick started to wonder what he wanted out of this _thing_ with Daryl.

It had only been a couple of months, yet he cared about Daryl much more than he should after such a short time. It made him sick to think that Daryl thought he was nothing to him.

Rick leant against the pole that still had a dent from Daryl’s foot, and scrolled again through his texts.

After a moment, Rick sighed at his own idiocy and pressed down on the call button. Unsurprised when he heard, _“The person you are calling is not available, please leave your message after the tone.”_

Rick’s finger hovered over the red button but he hesitated this time and put the phone back to the ear and listened for the high pitched beep.

“Hey Daryl. It’s uh, Rick. Guess you knew that from the number on the missed call.” Rick laughed. “Multiple missed calls, fuck. Look, jus’ wanted to see everythin’s okay? And uh, well I want ya to know, I uh, you’re more’n jus’ good sex, I like you? I mean we’re friends right? God that sounds weird? I’m drunk, I should go. Jus’ call me? Please?”

Rick closed his phone and turned to go back inside only to find himself face to face with a wide eyed Shane.

Rick froze, his own words coming back to haunt him. He licked his lips suddenly lost for words. This was not how he imagined coming out to his best friend. Ex best friend?

“You--” Rick cleared his throat, “You heard that?”

Shane nodded, his eyes were comically wide. Rick would have laughed if he wasn’t shaking.

_“You someone’s secret girlfriend?”_

“All of it?”

Shane nodded again.

Rick tried to lick his lips again; his mouth was too dry. He wished he brought his drink out with him. Shane was just staring at him wordlessly. Rick had no idea how Shane was going to react. His friend said some homophobic things in the past but he had always managed to convince himself it was just locker room talk and tried not to take it personally. Although it was the reason he’d taken so long to come out to his friend.

“You gonna say anythin’?” Rick prompted hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as he felt. He hoped Shane would surprise him and be okay with it.

Shane seemed to physically shake himself out of his shock and tried to cool his features. “I jus’ wanted to talk… I’m sorry. I guess. I didn’t mean… fuck. What-- You said somethin’ other than sex right? Or I miss-heard the name?” he asked hopefully.

Rick considered lying, but decided he didn’t want to. It was about time to come out to Shane, he’d known him since they were kids.

He could only hope Shane wouldn’t out him to others.

“Nah, you heard right,” Rick said slowly, watching the various emotions play over Shane’s face, eventually settling on confusion.

Shane shook his head, slowly at first and then with conviction. “Nah, man. This is a joke, yeah? You’re pissed at me, figure you’d have a laugh at my expense? After what we were sayin’?”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I spend my life wonderin’ how to have a laugh at your expense.”

Shane stared at him, frowning and then said slowly, “Rick-- you ain’t no homo.”

Rick bit back the surge of anger that shot through him and decided he didn’t care what Shane thought of him. “Apparently I am _someone’s girlfriend_.” He pocketed his cell and stormed past Shane, unable to miss the way he dodged out of the way. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anythin’ to anyone. ‘specially Carl an’ Lori.” When Shane didn’t say anything, Rick spun around to face him. “Shane?”

“I won’t,” Shane said quietly, averting his eyes.

Rick nodded satisfied and went back into the bar with plans to get too drunk to stand up straight. His offer to buy the next round of shots was met with cheers from the small group.

As he waited at the bar for them to pour out the complicated order, Tara came to his side. “Thought I’d help you carry,” she explained leaning on her elbows over the bar.

“Uh, thanks?”

Quieter she said, “what’s his name?” Rick tensed and looked around. “Don’t worry, we’re alone. My girlfriend’s name is Denise.” Tara smiled softly. “She’s training to be a doctor. She’s gorgeous and funny, and buys me pop when I’m sad.”

“Pop?” Rick wasn’t sure why that stood out to him but he didn’t know what else to say.

Tara laughed. “She’s from Ohio, that’s what they call it there.”

“Ah.”

“I wanna be out, but I’m the only woman in this group. I’ve already gotta work so much harder to prove myself to you lot.” Rick started to argue but Tara narrowed her eyes and Rick closed his mouth. “I saw your face back there. I know that look.”

“Daryl,” Rick answered her original question. “Shane just heard me leave him a voicemail.”

“Oh shit,” Tara gasped.

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

Rick looked at her surprised at that question. “I… I don’t know.”

The barmaid placed the glasses in front of them. Rick let out a breath, relieved at the excuse not to talk about it any more. He took as many as he could carry back to the table; in time to hear Shane say, “I gotta get off. See ya at work.”

As Shane stormed past, Rick couldn’t miss the disgust and confusion that flashed over his face.

Rick watched him go, pushing down the hurt, trying to convince himself that he didn’t care what Shane thought.

Tara caught his eye and smiled reassuringly, but Rick just picked up his drink and took a few large mouthfuls.

* * *

Rick stumbled to the court the next afternoon despite still suffering from the evening before.

Carol was keeping the trial closed and he didn’t feel right intruding as a cop, but he wanted to be there to either support or celebrate. He waited outside leaning against a wall and closed his eyes enjoying the cool air blowing on his too-hot face.

As he waited outside he found his thoughts wandering back to Shane and the events the night before. Now he was mostly sober he was able to feel a sense of panic from the discussion last night.

All morning he had considered calling Shane but didn’t want to admit how much it hurt, or how much he cared about his friend’s reaction.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Carol and Daryl coming out of the building, both grinning. Well, Carol was grinning, Daryl was smiling slightly harder than he usually did. Daryl had his arm slung over Carol’s shoulder as Rick approached them, his smile fading and being replaced by wide eyes.

“Rick!” Carol squealed and stepped away from Daryl to wrap Rick up in a warm hug. “I cannot thank you enough for this.”

“I didn’t do nuthin’,” Rick said quickly, squeezing her tightly.

“Your information convinced me to fight it, getting me Andrea--”

“It’s nuthin’,” Rick repeated. “I’m glad I could help.”

He looked over her shoulder at Daryl but the other man was looking away.

Rick winced, he’d been too distracted by Shane to remember that Daryl probably got his voicemail. Rick tried to think if he said anything too embarrassing in the voicemail, and he didn’t think he had been drunk enough to admit he had fallen for the other man. Only that he likes him, as friends.

Rick nearly groaned at himself, suddenly feeling like a teenager. He was a grownass man, acting like the word friend was a curse.

“We’re going back to the bar,” Carol said, “if you want to join us, to celebrate?”

Rick’s stomach churched at the thought of more alcohol but he wanted to celebrate with them so he started to nod but paused. He didn’t want to put Daryl in an awkward position.

“If that’s okay?” Rick asked, looking pointedly at Daryl.

Daryl looked up and caught his eye and gave a small nod.

* * *

Daryl took Carol on his bike so Rick arrived after they did. He walked into the bar suddenly unsure of himself. This was not his usual choice of drinking establishment. The few people glared at him like they could see the uniform he wasn’t wearing.

Rick resisted the urge to glare back at them and instead just casually walked towards the bar, eyes darting around.

It was just as dark and gloomy as the first time he had been here. His shoes stuck to the wooden floor and the strong smell of cheap alcohol and smoke attacked his nostrils, making his stomach churn and reminding him how drunk he had been the night before. At an early Thursday afternoon the bar was fairly empty with only a few drinkers that had probably been there since opening.

Rick eyes scanned the bar, searching for Daryl or Carol, but neither of them were there.

“Officer Friendly!” Merle greeted from where he stood behind the bar, wiping a glass.

Rick smiled thinly. “Ain’t on duty, s’just Rick.”

Merle rose an eyebrow. “Cops ain’t welcome to drink here,” he told him simply. “Last time was jus’ a exception.”

Rick sighed, he really didn’t want to deal with this today, but before he could say anything Carol came out from a door leading into the back. “Oh shut up, Merle, and don’t be a dick for once. Rick helped me do this and he’s gonna have a drink with us in peace.”

Rick couldn’t help but stare, his first impressions of Carol had been meek and motherly, not one to openly tell someone like _Merle_ what to do.

Merle grinned predatorily but his eyes were laughing, he tilted his head in a half nod.

“Yes, ma’am.” Merle leant against the bar and studied Rick. “Well, guess another exception, Friendly, for helpin’ our Carol. N’ keepin’ me outta jail. Was ready ta kill the piece’a’shit.”

Merle pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a few tumblers, pouring out small portions. He handed one each to Rick and Carol, kept one for himself, and left the last one waiting on the counter.

“‘Bout fuckin’ time.” Merle said, holding the glass up. The three of them clinked their glasses together and Rick took a sip of his. The whiskey was as cheap and tasteless as the first time. God, was it only a couple of months ago?

His stomach churned and Rick groaned. He put the glass back on the bar.

“Thanks fer waitin’,” Daryl muttered sarcastically, appearing at Rick’s side and taking the final glass. He had changed out of his suit and was back in his usual ripped cargo pants and vest.

He refused to look at Rick and instead leant back against the bar and his hair covering half his face. Rick wanted to see him, wanted to gently push it behind his ear and kiss him softly.

“Where’s your dog, Friendly?” Merle asked suddenly.

Rick was pulled out of his thoughts about Daryl and frowned. “Dog?”

“The other one,” Merle gestured at Rick’s right. “More into police brutality that liked ta knock my head whenever y’all arrested me.”

“You mean Shane?” Rick asked. “We’re not partners no more.”

Merle lifted an eyebrow, but Rick really didn’t want to get into it with Merle of all people, so he asked instead, “Can I get a water?”

“Water? Ya serious?”

“I drunk a bit too much last night.”

Daryl snorted, Rick looked at him surprised and wondered again if Daryl had heard his voicemail or just deleted it.

“Yeah, and? Best cure is more alcohol,” Merle pushed.

“I’ll get ya one,” Daryl offered and ducked back behind the bar.

When he came back out Rick took the cool glass from him purposefully letting his fingers linger. Daryl’s eyes flicked up to meet his for the first time since they arrived.

“How’d you manage it?” Rick asked.

“Huh?” Daryl held his gaze for a moment then pulled his hand away quickly, tips of his ears turning red. “Andrea might be a stuck up piece’a’shit, but she knows what ta say to make ‘im slip up,” Daryl answered. Rick noticed with some amusement that Daryl’s hick accent got stronger around Merle.

“Five years I don’t have to see him,” Carol said smiling. “Social services will stay involved for Sophia but any visits will be supervised.”

“I’m happy for ya, Carol.” Rick reached out to squeeze her shoulder, she turned her smile on him.

“I never thanked you for inviting Sophia to your son’s birthday,” Carol added. “She hasn’t stopped talking about it.”

Rick grinned. “Glad she enjoyed herself. Her and Carl seemed to get along well. If you ever wanna organise a play date, let me know. I don’t have him all the time but I’m sure they’d both love it.”

Carol smiled. “That sounds wonderful, Rick.”

“You tryna steal my best friend, Grimes?” Daryl spoke up, smirking.

Rick grinned. “Best friend, huh? That’s sweet.”

“Got me a friendship bracelet and everything,” Carol said grinning, she rolled up her sleeve to reveal a thin twine bracelet.

“Good lord, lil brother,” Merle groaned, “I’m gonna hurl.”

Daryl smirked. “Your jus’ jealous she likes me more’n you.”

“Pshh.” Carol slapped his arm. “I love you both just as much.”

Daryl smirked at her and pushed himself off the bar. “I gotta smoke.”

Sensing his moment, Rick smiled and said, “I’m gonna join him.”

He followed Daryl outside, and found him in the same spot around the side of the bar. He was leaning against the wall with one foot pressed against the wall, cigarette hung loosely from two fingers. Daryl wordlessly held out the box, unsurprised that he was followed.

Rick took one, glad for something to do with his hands and leant next to him. Daryl held up the lighter close enough for Rick to lean forwards and to put the cigarette in the flame. He took several deep breaths, puffing out the smoke.

His stomach finally settled and Rick sighed relieved.

Neither of them spoke for a while whilst Rick desperately searched for the words for the right way to ask. It was Daryl that spoke first.

“I told you ‘bout someone I was with, bit of a dick, forced a look at my back?”

Anger churned in his gut as Rick nodded. “I remember.”

“He was there. Came in the bathroom, just said some shit. I was drunk, listened to the words. Y'know.” He gestured vaguely.

Rick didn’t know what to say, he sucked in a breath trying not to focus on the anger that made him want to hit the man that hurt Daryl like that.

“Bastard was possessive,” Daryl continued. He glanced up through his lashes at Rick and added defensively, “Didn’t hit me or nuthin’. I can fight back. Just creepy. I got out in the end but he didn’t wanna give up. Kept comin’ ta the bar til Merle put out that he’s gay. Got chased out.” Daryl snorted. “The regulars know ‘bout me ‘course, you ain’t the first guy I’ve followed outta there. Won’t say nuthin’ for fear of Merle’s wrath.”

“Merle knows?” Rick said, surprised. He still remembered Daryl’s furtive glances at Merle’s bedroom door that first time.

Daryl laughed but there was no humour in it, Rick was pretty sure he was missing something. “Yeah. Don’t like it but… different story for another time maybe. Sorry I was a dick.”

“S’fine.”

Rick wanted to explain that he hadn’t been wrong to start with but things changed for him. Except, they hadn’t known each other for long, he didn’t want to freak Daryl out.

He looked over at Daryl as the other man’s eyes wandered, watching people pass by the bar. None of them noticed the two men standing in a comfortable silence and Rick realised how often they did this and how nice it was.

Daryl didn’t need words to fill silence between them, not like Lori had. She couldn’t sit quietly for longer than a few minutes, but sometimes after sex, he and Daryl would just lay in silence for a short while.

Rick hadn’t realised how much he craved these moments between them nearly as much as the sex. But Daryl’s words reminded him of something he was trying not to think about.

“I accidently came out to Shane last night.”

Daryl pushed his hair back, eyes intense. “Oh?”

“He heard my call to you.” Daryl flushed and looked away. “Daryl unfortunately ain’t a name I coulda explained away. You couldn’t have a unisex name or somethin’?”

“Shit, how’d he take it?” Daryl asked, ignoring Rick’s question.

Rick took a long drag of his cigarette to give himself a moment to think, the look of disgust as he left the bar.

“Better than expected, worse than I hoped. He left the bar right after so…” Rick trailed off and shrugged. “Thankfully I got a long weekend off. Won’t have ta see him till Monday.”

Daryl hummed and turned away.

“You told Merle ‘bout the job yet?” Rick asked to change the subject.

Daryl swallowed and shook his head. “Don’t think I’m gonna take it.”

“What? Why?” Daryl’s lowered eyes answered the question as loudly as speaking them would have. “Did that _shithead_ at the bar have anythin’ to do with this decision?”

Daryl’s lips twitched at the name but his eyes were wide and vulnerable, the look only lasted a few seconds before he hid it behind a wall of anger. “He ain’t got nothin’ to do with it! I can make my own fuckin’ decisions!”

“It’s a wonderful opportunity,” Rick said calmly.

“Who actually said I wanted it?” Daryl snapped.

“ _You_ did.”

Daryl clenched his jaw, dropped his smoke and pushed himself off the wall. “Well, I changed my mind.”

Without thinking, Rick grabbed his wrist before Daryl could walk away, this time Daryl didn’t shout at him to let go so Rick held fast and pulled him back around to face him. “Well, _whatever_ changed your mind, man, you shouldn’t listen to it. You want that job, take it. You’ll clearly be great at it. Anyone that tells you otherwise, fuck ‘em.”

Daryl stared at him, his jaw working and then pulled at his wrist. Rick immediately let him go, watching him saunter back into the bar. After a minute, Rick followed him inside.

Rick watched as Carol put a hand on his arm and smiled comfortingly.

They spent the next few hours just talking about nothing in particular, Rick found himself having a laugh with Merle fucking Dixon of all people, and he wasn’t even drunk.

It was only when Carol said she needed to go pick Sophia up from school - she only had one drink - that Rick decided to excuse himself as well.

* * *

Daryl paced his room the next morning, his cell in hand as he tried to make a decision.

Rick was right, he did want that job, he wanted to work with bikes everyday instead of in a dank bar that made him have to talk with customers for shit money and shit hours. But seeing Negan reminded Daryl painfully of where he’d come from, and how hard it’d be for him to really, truly fit in anywhere else but with white trash.

Yet Rick’s words bounced around his head.

_“You want that job, take it. You’ll clearly be great at it. Anyone that tells you otherwise, fuck ‘em.”_

Every time, Rick sounded angry at him for being too much of a coward to try to better himself.

“Damnit. Fucking bastard,” Daryl hissed and dialled Aarons number.

It rang three times and Daryl was about to chicken out and cut off when Aaron answered, “Hello?”

“Uh, hey. Aaron? It’s Daryl.”

“Daryl, hey! How’s it going?”

“I’ll take it,” Daryl blurted before he could second guess himself again. “If the job’s still available?”

“Serious? That’s great!” Aaron sounded genuinely excited. “Really great.”

“I still need ta tell my brother and give him time to find someone else,” Daryl added quickly. He’d already taken nearly a week to make his decision. “If that’s a problem--”

“No worries. Take your time and let us know a date you’ll be able to start.”

“Thanks.”

Daryl shut his cell and went in search of Merle, he couldn’t put this off any longer. He found Merle relaxing back watching TV, wearing his usual ripped jeans and a white vest. It was the best opportunity to talk to without Merle being ready for a fight even before he’d opened his mouth.

Daryl crossed his arms to stop himself from chewing on his thumb and perched on the arm of his chair facing Merle.

"I gotta leave the bar," Daryl said bluntly. "Got a new job."

Merle didn’t react as such but he did go still, his hand tightened on the beer bottle. The air around him suddenly felt thick.

"What?" He asked, voice low and dangerous. He turned to face Daryl, eyes narrowed.

"Y'know Barrington Bikes? The owner’s a friend of Rick’s,” Daryl explained hesitantly, he’d been wary to mention his friendship with a cop to Merle. He could only imagine what he’d say if he told Merle he was regularly getting fucked by a cop. “Offered me a job.”

“Ya serious? The hells someone offered you a job for?" Merle spat. "You ain't got no education."

"I know what I'm doin'," Daryl argued. “I fix my own bike up jus’ fine.”

"You lie your way into it?" Merle asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"So what if I did?" Daryl spat. "It's good money, good for both of us. You can find any old idiot out there to take over me at the bar."

Daryl immediately regretted his wording, watching Merle’s face darken. Merle got to his feet stepping into Daryl's space.

“You think you're better than me now then?” Merle asked, low and dangerous. “Fancy smart job and fancy shit?"

"That ain't what I meant.”

"Cause it sure sounds like it."

“Ain’t even fancy. Jus’ somethin’ I actually wanna do!”

“Don’t fuckin’ care! You ain’t leavin’, you _owe_ me!" Merle shouted.

“What for?!” Daryl shouted, pushing into Merle’s space. They stood nearly nose to nose glaring at each other, Daryl’s fists clenched and knew so were Merle’s. "Savin' my life? You shoulda fuckin’ left me there! S’what I wanted!”

Whatever reaction he’d expected it wasn’t the one he got. Merle turned white and the anger drained off his face. He stepped back as roughly as though he’d been shoved.

“And what? Left my baby brother bleedin’ out on the bathroom floor? Jus’ ‘cause he got some stupid fuckin’ idea life ain’t worth it?!” Merle managed to say, his voice getting loud with each word shaking his way through it. “I weren’t gonna let tha’ happen. You were a fuckin’ kid!”

“I was fourteen!”

“And I’ll never fuckin’ forget it!”

They stood still for a moment, both breathing heavily like they’d got for a run but Daryl didn’t want to know what else Merle had to say. He stormed towards the door, shoving his shoulder into Merle’s chest on the way past.

It had been a long time since he thought about that day. He could still feel the wounds, the blood dripping down his back, the cold bathroom floor.

He could still see that stupid picture of some goodlooking guy he stole from a womans magazine, as clearly as though he’d known the man, and his fathers voice shouting, “let the faggot die!”

Daryl’s stomach turned. He was going to puke. He needed to get away from here, from Merle, this trailer. From his own fucking head.

Daryl climbed on his bike, breathing heavily and sped away. He rode around narrow country lanes that forced him to concentrate. Desperate to keep his mind focused on anything Merle and what he did or didn’t owe him.

The wind howled past his ears, nearly deafening alongside the roar of the engine. Daryl breathed slow and deep, appreciating the cool air, sharp in his lungs.

He didn’t know how long he was riding before he came to a stop. Daryl glared up at the apartment building, he hadn’t consciously chosen to come here but now he was here he wanted to go in and spend some time with Rick.

Another burst of anger shot through him. Rick didn't know _shit_ about his life, probably lived a perfect life with a mom who tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, and a dad who played catch with him and taught him how to shave.

Probably never even knew what abuse was until he became a cop.

Except, Rick did care. He showed it in every move, the way he held Daryl's shirt down without even asking, telling him he was worth the job. He always listened when Daryl needed to talk and when Daryl was excited about his job, Rick wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate. Rick cared enough to celebrate his achievements.

He cared enough to leave a mushy drunk voicemail just trying to reassure him. Daryl’s heart had jumped when he heard ‘I like you’ but then he hurried to specify as friends.

Daryl cursed himself for wanting him to say more.

Rick meant more to him than he should have let himself feel. He wanted to be around the man as much as possible. Christ, he was such a pussy.

No matter what he wanted, Negan was still right. He couldn’t have that life.

“Daryl?”

Daryl jumped and looked around to see Rick standing beside him, breathing heavily, face sheened in sweat, and he was wearing a grey sweatsuit.

“Rick,” Daryl said surprised. Shit, he was such an idiot. He should have texted first. “Shit, sorry. I, uh…”

Rick frowned. “What are you-- You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, I should go. Sorry.” He started to turn the ignition back on.

“Wait, you just got here. At least come up for a drink?”

Daryl hesitated, hand on the key. He wanted to go up but knew if he did he was giving in to his own stupid selfish desires that were only going to break his heart when Rick finally got bored.

“Please?” Rick added.

Daryl lowered his hand and nodded. “A’right. I ain’t got nowhere to be.”

Rick grinned brightly, Daryl felt his face get hot and looked away from him as he climbed off and locked up his bike.

Rick led him to his apartment. “Just gimme five minutes to clean up,” Rick said, but Daryl didn’t want to wait. The moment they walked through the door Daryl grabbed Rick’s arm and pulled him into a feverish, desperate kiss. Rick gasped and pulled back. “Wait, I’m all sweaty--”

“Don’t care,” Daryl murmured, turning his attention to Rick’s neck, kissing and biting it, tasting the salt, licking his tongue over his collar bone. Rick groaned and bucked into him.

Daryl kicked the door close behind them. This made Rick come to his senses and push Daryl back into the door, pressing his entire body flush against Daryl.

He took Daryl’s wrists and lifted his arms, pinning them above his head with one hand. He pulled back enough to look into Daryl’s eyes. “This okay?” he asked, glancing up at his wrists.

Daryl nodded. He’d restrained Rick in a similar fashion before but they hadn’t done it in this way. He was surprised to find it felt good and he wasn’t panicking like he thought he would. Knowing that Rick would let go at the slightest struggle helped.

Rick leant in to kiss him. The kiss was surprisingly gentle to start with, distracting Daryl from the hand that was undoing his belt, until his hand brushed against Daryl’s achingly hard length. Daryl hissed and thrusted into him.

“Fuck!” Rick smirked and moved to kiss at his neck, his hand wrapped around his dick and started moving, teasingly slow.

Then Rick pulled away suddenly and Daryl would forever deny the betrayed squeak that came from his throat.

“Got everything we need in the bedroom,” Rick explained. Daryl suddenly startled, his cock jumping at Rick’s words.

Once they were in the bedroom, did Rick turn back to capture the other's lips in another feverish kiss, his hands tugging at his own clothes. Daryl pushed his jeans off his hips and awkwardly stepped out of them.

Rick pulled away just long enough to push Daryl onto the bed and grab the lube and condoms out of the drawer.

Daryl started to roll onto his front but Rick touched his shoulder, stopping him.

“This way?” Rick asked.

Daryl hesitated, they never did this face to face, not penetrative sex. It always felt too intimate for Daryl, the fear of intimacy took over his fear of his back being on show.

Yet, he nodded at Rick. “Yeah, okay.”

Rick smiled softly and pushed a pillow under his hips.

“What’ya doin’?” Daryl asked, frowning.

Rick looked up at him surprised, Daryl waited for the laughter, mocking him for the question but instead Rick just said, “It’s more comfortable for ya. Better angle y’know?”

Daryl chuckled, aware of how nervous it sounded. “A’right.”

Daryl shifted for more comfort and opened his legs wider. Rick smiled and settled between them, and Rick moved down the other man's body and took Daryl into his mouth in one swift movement.

Daryl gasped, barely stopping from thrusting into Rick’s mouth, especially when a cool lubed finger started rubbing over his tight hole, then gently pressed into him.

Rick teased him for a while, with his tongue and his fingers. Slowly opening him up. Daryl pushed back into him, the desperation building.

“S’enough, Rick, just fuck me.”

Rick chuckled around his dick, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through him.

“Rick!”

Rick pulled away and removed his fingers, wiping them on his bed. Daryl pushed himself up on his hips to watch as Rick rolled a condom onto himself. Rick smirked at him, eyes running slowly over his body and then moved forward and leant over him, hooking one leg under his arm to give him better access. Daryl sucked in a breath and forced himself to relax as Rick pushed into him.

He leant over him, lips a hair breadth away as he waited for Daryl to adjust. Both of their breaths coming out in soft gasps.

When Daryl gave him a wordless nod Rick started to move, slowly at first and getting faster and harder as they continued their intimacy. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut and lost himself into the build-up of pleasure coiling in his lower stomach. He ran his hands up and down Rick’s body, feeling his muscles rippling.

Daryl pushed one hand between them; taking hold of his cock.

Rick shuddered and moved back so he could look down for a moment and then looked back up, catching Daryl’s eyes.

Daryl stared back at his dark eyes, hand moving in rhythm with Rick’s thrusts and Daryl came undone, closing his eyes as the pleasure exploded. Rick followed close behind, lowering his head into the crock of Daryl’s neck, biting lightly as he came.

After a moment, Rick’s arms gave way and he dropped to lay on top of him. Daryl couldn’t bring himself to care about being pinned down. Both breathing heavily.

“Sorry,” Rick mumbled into his neck.

Daryl twitched as it tickled. “S’fine.”

Rick pulled away and glanced at his lips as he did so. Daryl tensed, waiting for the kiss, he didn’t know how to respond if he did. Kissing after sex wasn’t something he ever did, yet he tilted his head waiting for it. But then Rick rolled over onto the bed to lay beside him.

Daryl pulled the pillow out of the way and reached across for the tissues, wiping himself down and mentally cursed himself for not bringing a spare shirt. Not that he planned this.

The silence between them was usually comfortable, easy, but now there was something hanging in the air between them. Daryl wanted to say something but he didn’t know what.

His mind was racing, that was different. It was intense as hell, he didn’t expect it. He just needed to be fucked and take his mind off his idiot brother, he didn’t expect _that_. He’d never had sex so pationate, looking into Rick’s eyes as he came sent another shiver through him.

“You okay?” Rick asked.

Daryl hummed, he didn’t want to be reminded of why he was here, yet he could feel Rick’s eyes on him. Daryl glanced around and caught his eye, concern radiated through him. “What?”

“Nothin’. Just-- you sure?”

“Merle’s a dick. Needed--”

“A distraction?” Rick finished for him, grinning cheekily.

Daryl snorted and looked away back at the plain white ceiling. “I guess.”

A distraction from Merle.

Daryl bit back a groan. He didn’t want to see his brother, not for a while.

He had the weekend off and remembered Rick saying the same. An idea came to him and before Daryl could think about it, he blurted, “Wanna go huntin’?”

Rick chuckled. “Sure. When?”

“Now?” When Rick didn’t answer for a while Daryl quickly added, “I ain’t workin’ this weekend, so was thinkin’ ‘bout it. N’ I remember you sayin’ you ain’t workin’ this weekend. But if ya got plans…” he trailed off, unsure, not for the first time wishing he had a way with words rather than blundering his way through most conversations.

“No, sounds good. Jus’... you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Daryl growled. “I’ll take back the offer if ya gonna keep askin’ all weekend.”

“Alright,” Rick dropped it for the time being. “How ‘bout lunch first?”

Daryl’s stomach rumbled reminding him he had been too nervous to tell Merle that he hadn’t had breakfast. Although going a day without food wasn’t exactly a strange feeling for him.

“Omelettes?” Rick offered, getting out of bed and dug through a drawer.

“A’right.”

Rick threw a shirt at him, the one he usually kept for Daryl that was slightly larger in the chest, before he left the room.

Daryl swung his legs out of the bed to get changed quickly and followed Rick to the kitchen where he started collecting ingredients. Wordlessly, Daryl took over chopping some onions and tried desperately not to think about how domestic this felt all of a sudden.

He could feel Rick’s worried eyes keep glancing at him.

“I took the job,” Daryl told him after a while, getting bored of the looks.

The clatter of metal against glass as Rick whisked the eggs faltered. “That’s great, Daryl. Congrats!” He sounded genuinely happy for him but the curiosity was underneath it all.

“Thanks.”

“I take it, that’s why Merle’s a dick?”

Daryl hummed.

“Said I owe him,” Daryl said quietly, wondering why he was telling Rick all of a sudden. It was none of his business. Yet Daryl wanted to keep talking, if Rick was going to realise he wasn’t worth his time, Daryl had to know now.

“For what?” Rick asked gently.

“Gettin’ me outta our dad’s place when I was fourteen,” Daryl said, focusing on dicing the onion, glad that he didn’t have to look at Rick as he spoke. “Stopped his life, quit the army and all, to take me in.”

Rick was quiet for a minute. Daryl shifted, Rick was smart enough to know what he was insinuating.

“That don’t give him the right to hold somethin’ over you forever,” Rick said eventually. “Your an adult now, time ta make your own choices.”

Daryl let out a breath, he was being an idiot, Rick wasn’t like that.

“Yeah. I jus’... I owe him for more’n that.”

“Like what?” Rick asked, a gentle prompting.

Daryl sucked in a breath, he couldn’t go any deeper into it. When he didn’t reply for a while Rick didn’t push.

Instead, he just stepped to his side and said, “They’re diced small enough.”

Daryl started. “Oh. Sorry.”

“S’fine,” Rick chuckled and took the chopping board to add them to the mix. “I have no idea how to hunt or track or anythin’,” Rick admitted.

“I’ll teach ya,” Daryl offered. “Ya don’t have ta join me, I’m used to goin’ on my own.”

“I want to,” Rick said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	5. Baby Like A Blind Man I Rushed In

“I feel like an ass,” Rick commented as Daryl loaded him up with a very large heavy backpack that was expertly packed with his own clothes and anything else Daryl deemed necessary. This included a sleeping mat tied on top and a couple of bottles of water tied to the sides. Rick didn’t have any backpacks so he had packed some clothes and borrowed Merle’s rare used one - Rick didn’t dare ask how Merle felt about that. Daryl smirked at him and took his own backpack. “You know what I mean,” Rick said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Daryl hummed in reply; he seemed quieter than usual. Rick wanted to fix whatever had caused him to become so withdrawn. Even during the drive Daryl had only spoken when spoken to, and had actively avoided any mention of Merle or the broken glass inside the trailer when they stopped by to get the stuff.

“How far’s the walk?” Rick asked, squinting into the dark forest. It had taken longer at the trailer for Daryl to get his stuff than expected. In early November the sun was starting to set earlier and Rick didn’t fancy making a fool of himself falling over in the dark.

“‘Bout an hour. S’a nice place to set up for the night.” Daryl gestured with his head and started walking. Rick followed close behind.

The forest was alive with noise, birds squawking over their heads, crickets sounding far away and close all at once. The early November sun was warm enough to be comfortable but not too hot whilst walking. With the thick undergrowth Rick struggled to keep up with Daryl’s confident stride, desperately trying not to fall over with the heavy backpack trying to unbalance him. Especially once they veered off the beaten path.

“We goin’ anywhere in particular or jus’ lookin’ for anywhere good?” Rick asked after a while.

Daryl looked behind him, seeming surprised that Rick was still with him. “I got a good spot, well hidden.”

“You come out here a lot?” Rick asked, glancing over at Daryl. He was staring at the ground, his hair particularly covering his face as he walked, but when he looked up at Daryl he pushed it behind his ear with his free hand.

“As often as I can. S’the best way to be alone,” Daryl admitted almost shyly.

“Should I feel honoured that you invited me?” Rick asked, trying to sound cheeky but he couldn’t help the swell of pride in his voice.

“I guess. Only ever come with Merle.”

“I thought you said he’s not into it?” Rick said surprised, looking over at him.

“He ain’t, but we used ta, when I was younger. Dad taught me the basics but Merle… he taught me the rest.” Rick glanced at him again in time to catch the small smile gracing his face. “After I first moved in with him, once I was healed up he took me out here. Stayed out here for days, living off our catches.”

“Healed up?” Rick asked carefully, suspecting Daryl didn’t mean to say that when the other man nearly tripped.

“Got hurt. What else does healed up mean?” Daryl spat and sped up, shoulders hunched.

Rick pursed his lips but didn’t dare push it, he didn’t want to make Daryl uncomfortable. He would tell him in his own time. He tried to keep up with Daryl but when he nearly tripped over for the third time he called out Daryl’s name. “Christ, slow down man!”

Daryl glanced back and looked briefly apologetic before saying, “We’re nearly there.”

Yet he slowed his steps. Then he stopped so suddenly that Rick nearly walked into the back of him.

Daryl didn’t seem to notice. He was staring at Rick, forehead creased as though he was considering something for a moment, and then pushed the bush aside revealing a small clearing backing onto a cliff face, vines and trees growing against it.

A small circle of large stones formed a firepit and beside it a handmade weather-worn wooden bench. The ground was mostly grassy with a few muddy patches.

Daryl let Rick through the bush that hid their little slice of paradise, and then walked on ahead dropping his backpack by the bench. Rick quickly followed, glad to be rid of the weight.

"This where you bring all the guys?" Rick asked cheekily.

Daryl shook his head. "Told ya, don't come huntin’ with anyone by Merle. Never brought him here though. He'd wreck it with beer bottles and shit all over the place."

Something swelled in Rick’s chest; it suddenly felt so intimate standing in this small clearing. Somewhere so private to Daryl that he trusted enough to show him and only him.

“S’off the track enough tha’ ain’t ever seen signs of others comin’ here,” Daryl continued, speaking behind his thumb as he chewed at the side of it. “Dragged that log here myself. Carved it too."

Rick ran his eyes over Daryl’s arms slowly and pointedly. “I can believe that.” Daryl blushed a deep red making Rick laugh. “It looks good.”

Daryl shrugged. "It ain't much."

"Do you do a lot of woodwork?” Rick asked, dumping his bags besides Daryl’s.

“Nah, that was just ‘cause it’s more comfortable than the floor,” Daryl admitted. “Dwight, at the bar, he whittles these little things, tiny men and animals. He's real good.”

"I managed to make a shelf in my woodworking class?" Rick offered. "I got an F."

Daryl scoffed. "On a shelf?"

"It was supposed to be a birdhouse."

Daryl let out a full bellied laugh, surprised at Rick’s response. Rick grinned, laughing along with him.

"You ain't very handy then?" Daryl asked once he sobered.

"God no. I'd always get Shane over to fix our shit." Rick sat on the bench, absentmindedly running his finger through a crevice in the wood lost in memories of Shane coming over so often to help, even when he wasn’t there. He never questioned it until he found Shane there after he was working late to finish his paperwork. The shitty excuse of: ‘Lori called me to fix the sink and ended up having dinner and a beer’.

“So, you don’t know how to put up a tent then?” Daryl asked, pulling Rick out of his thoughts.

Rick looked over at him, he had removed his winged vest and was kneeling by the large green bag.

“I thought ya preferred sleepin’ under the stars?” Daryl’s head jerked up, surprised. “What?”

“I jus’ didn’t realise you’d remember that,” Daryl admitted.

“Weren’t that long ago?”

Daryl shrugged. “‘Sides, it’ll get too cold at night. An’ thought… privacy y’know.”

Rick smirked. “In that case, no. I have no idea how to put up a tent.”

“A’right. C’mere.”

It didn’t take long for them to get the tent and firepit set up and roaring. The sun had set by the time Daryl had a pot of venison stew warming above the fire, taken from his freezer before they left.

Rick watched Daryl stirring the stew as it began to lightly bubble and he listened to the fire cracking and crickets chirping around them. It was peaceful. Rick closed his eyes, losing himself in the different sounds surrounding him knowing he could fall asleep with this.

Until Daryl moved, brushing his arm against Rick’s as he shifted on the bench.

Rick slowly opened his eyes again to Daryl. Despite the darkness of the night, the moon and firelight made it bright enough still to see the light crease on Daryl’s forehead as he stared at the pot.

“What’s the plan tomorrow?” Rick asked through a yawn.

“Usually up with the sun,” Daryl told him, “see if we can find some tracks, I’ll show ya how to walk so ya don’t scare ‘em all off and what ya lookin’ for. If we’re lucky we’ll find another deer.”

“If we don’t?” Rick asked.

“Got a small cool box in my bag with some food. Though, usually get a few squirrels.” Daryl said, laughing when Rick couldn’t control his expression of disgust fast enough. “S’not actually too bad. I’ll cook ya up one tomorrow jus’ to prove it.”

Rick winced; squirrel didn’t sound all that pleasant to him. “You don’t need to.”

“Ya know I gotta now, right?” Rick groaned. “Damn city slickers, never had squirrel for dinner.”

Rick snorted and rolled a small splitter of wood between his fingers. “I’m a city slicker, huh? We don’t live all that far from each other.”

“I didn’t grow up there,” Daryl said defensively. “The house with my old man was further outta town, on the edge of a forest.”

“You can take the boy outta the country, but you can’t take the country outta the boy?” Rick quoted.

“Yeah, ‘bout right.” Daryl took the steaks off the heat and put them on a separate plate to the side. Rick’s stomach rumbled loudly. “Gotta let it rest a minute. Patience man.”

“When did you find this place?” Rick asked to distract himself for another minute.

“Few years back. Was just wanderin’ explorin’ y’know. Stopped for the night and realised how hidden it is. No other hikers come across me. Managed to set it up to my likin’. Jus’ wait till I show ya the lake tomorrow.”

“Lake?”

Daryl nodded. “Got this waterfall. Lot of fisherman but it’s good for a swim.”

Rick glanced down at Daryl’s shirt wondering if he would swim with him, he somehow doubted it.

Daryl followed his gaze and shifted uncomfortable. Rick quickly looked away ashamed, he had promised not to ask. The last thing he wanted to do was make Daryl uncomfortable after he’d brought Rick here.

“Here.” Daryl offered him his steak on a plastic bowl. Rick took his and upon the first bite waves of pleasure rushed over him as the meat practically melted on his tongue, the juices of the stew running through and warming him up.

He heard Daryl laugh and Rick opened his eyes to look at him and the amusement shining in Daryl’s eyes. “What?”

“S’your orgasm face.”

Rick smirked through the bite and closed his eyes again. “Don’t care. Tastes good. Did you cook it yourself?”

Daryl nodded. “Always make bunch’a meals for the freezer when I get a deer.”

They ate in silence, both just enjoying the company and cracking fire. Rick had long since finished his dinner when he asked, “What’s the longest you’ve stayed out here?”

Daryl was quiet for longer than expected, Rick was briefly distracted looking down at his bowl wondering what Daryl would think if he licked it clean.

“You mean right here? Or generally?”

Rick frowned, unsure why there was a split between those questions in Daryl’s mind. “Both?”

“Here, probably ‘bout a week or so. Generally… longer. Got lost out here when I was a kid.”

Rick paused, fork halfway to his mouth. “Serious? How long for?”

“Nine days, survived on berries and a single rabbit I caught. Wiped my ass with posion oak.”

Rick’s stomach churned and he stared at Daryl as the other man did start sucking the bone of his steak, just kept eating completely unaware that he’d said something so shocking.

Even that image couldn’t stop the anger that nearly had Rick shaking with it.

“How old were you?” Rick asked despite knowing he didn’t want the answer.

Daryl looked up at him, eyes going wide. “Nine or ten. Can’t remember.”

“Cops find ya or--”

Daryl scoffed. “The old man had no idea I’s gone long enough to call the cops. Not that he woulda, hated cops almost as much as Merle does.” Rick put his plate down suddenly wishing he hadn’t eaten so fast; he was going to be sick. Daryl caught his eye, misreading the anger on his face. “No offence. You're the only cop that I’ve ever gotten along with.”

Rick swallowed. “That ain’t-- you were _nine_?”

“Oh.” Daryl blinked rapidly, understanding coming over his face. “Or ten. Merle probably woulda found me but he was in juvie at the time.”

“Jesus. That must have been terrifying.”

Daryl shrugged. “Weren’t too bad. Sounds of the forest are comfortin’ to me.”

“Weren’t too bad?!” Rick shouted, Daryl jumped pulling away from him. Rick was too angry at the world to care. Daryl didn’t deserve that. “You were nine! Alone and defenceless. Anything could have happened, you could have been killed!”

“I was fine,” Daryl shouted back. “I was the idiot that wandered into the forest. Shoulda stayed at home.”

“Damn right you should have stayed at home! What would I have done if somethin’ happened to you? We never would have met!” Rick cut off, surprised at himself. He hadn’t realised that he felt that way. Daryl had fallen silent, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. “Daryl?” Rick said slowly, wondering if he’d just gone too far and scared him off.

Then Daryl lurched forward, catching his lips in a desperate intense kiss.

* * *

Daryl’s heart was beating hard in his chest as he kissed Rick trying to pour all his feelings towards him into it. Rick froze beneath him for a moment before he started kissing back, hand snaking around his waist to pull Daryl closer.

He had no idea Rick cared about him like that, he didn’t think he’d ever had anyone that got so emotional about his past _for_ him but without a trace of pity.

“I set out… the sleeping… mats earlier,” Rick said breathlessly between kisses.

Daryl hummed against his lips and just enjoyed the taste of Rick, the salty venison on his lips, licking into Rick’s mouth. Rick didn’t seem to be complaining, exploring Daryl's mouth just as fervently, hands exploring each other. Despite how desperate Daryl was for Rick to be close he wanted to take this slow. Rick seemed to silently understand this and relaxed against him.

For a while, they stayed like that, Rick’s hands running through his hair, moving up and down his thigh, Daryl’s own hands slowly exploring Rick’s chest and back. They separated just long enough for Daryl to pull Rick’s shirt off and then turned his attention to that smooth neck, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed.

He lowered his hand, palming the hard length at the front of Rick’s pants.

Rick thrusted up into his hand and groaned out, “Shit, Daryl-- we should--”

“Yeah.” Daryl hummed against Rick’s neck and then pulled back, getting to his feet.

They walked into the tent together, the atmosphere heavy. There was something happening here that he didn’t quite understand, nor did he want it to stop.

The tent's sides blocked most of the light from the moon so when Daryl zipped up the tent's entrance and turned back to Rick he could barely see more than his shining eyes and his outline.

Rick was digging through one of the bags and when Daryl knelt beside him he took Daryl’s hand and moved it until he could feel the small bottle and foil packet beside him. Then placing a hand on his shoulder pulling him in for another gentle kiss, lips moving slow against his own.

Daryl gently nudged Rick down until he was laying flat on the sleeping mats. Daryl climbed over him to straddle him, rolling his hips and bent down to kiss him. Rick moaned into his mouth, one arm wrapped around Daryl’s waist, thrusting up into him.

Daryl pulled away from his lips and kissed down Rick’s jaw and neck, moving slowly. Wanting to lick and taste every inch of him.

He paused at each nipple, taking them into his mouth and sucking, chuckling at the stream of profanities that left Rick’s mouth.

He continued down until he reached the hard tent that was trying to poke its way through Rick’s pants. He palmed the length through the fabric and kissed just beside Rick’s navel, his nimble fingers quickly undoing Rick’s zipper and freeing the hard length, immediately taking it into his mouth.

“Jesus. Daryl!”

Daryl smirked around him and moved down, letting his throat adjust until he was nosing Rick’s stomach and the other man was a writhing mess beneath him.

He held Rick there for a moment and then moved up, tongue pressing into him until he was nearly off and back down. Teasing Rick.

“Fuck. Daryl, wait,” Rick murmured after a few moments. Daryl immediately pulled away, staring up at Rick despite not being able to see him. “I don’t wanna come yet. I want this to last,” Rick explained, reaching down to press his hand against Daryl’s cheek.

“Right, yeah.” Daryl pulled back so he could remove his own pants before straddling Rick again, leaning over to kiss him. Rick’s hands gripped at Daryl’s hips tight enough he wondered if it would leave bruises but couldn’t bring himself to care.

He knew this was crossing a line, kissing him, moving so closely, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted to do this.

He pulled back and found the lube to pour some on his fingers. He felt Rick shifting beneath him and then gasped when Daryl reached around to stretch himself open. It had only been a few hours since they fucked earlier so it was easy.

He could make out Rick’s eyes wide staring up at him. “You ain’t too sore?” Rick asked, his voice rough.

Daryl shook his head and gasped out, “God no.” He leant down to kiss him again, drawing it out. Rick's hand curled in his hair holding him in place, the other hand running down his arm.

After a minute Daryl pulled away and moved to roll the condom over Rick. When Rick started to sit up, Daryl pushed at his chest and climbed back so he was straddling Rick again.

“Oh,” Rick murmured and willingly laid back down.

Daryl reached down to line Rick's shaft up and then slowly lowered himself onto it, loving the stretch and slight burn.

Rick gasped and his hands returned to Daryl’s hips, fingers pressing into him yet helping Daryl to stay in position as he adjusted to the size. Until he felt Rick’s hips beneath his ass, Rick fully inside him.

He stayed like that as he got used to the size. Sorer than he expected from earlier in the day but that just made it feel ever better, that Rick’s cock could make him feel like this.

Daryl could just make out Rick’s eyes, wide and full of something he didn’t understand yet recognised as the same thing from the near kiss, the bar, and from earlier in the day.

It was something that made his chest swell and heartburn. Something that made him want to lean down and kiss Rick whilst running the hell away.

It made him want to trust Rick with everything.

Before he could second guess himself, Daryl pulled his shirt off and Rick’s eyes went impossibly wider. “Daryl?” he said, his voice suddenly loud in the silent tent. “God you’re… wow.”

Daryl answered with another kiss, his warm skin rubbing against Daryl’s bare chest sent shockwaves of pleasure through him as he started to move.

When he pulled back Rick reached out to run his hand over him, fingers threading through chest hair feeling up his muscles and running down to his stomach causing a shiver to run through Daryl. It felt different, like Rick wanting to touch _him,_ not just some warm willing body.

Rick ran a thumb over one of his nipples experimentally. Daryl gasped as the feeling went straight to his cock.

Rick immediately did it again, putting a bit more pressure whilst watching Daryl intently, the feeling increased tenfold. Rick grinned, pushing himself up on one elbow and bent his head to kiss down Daryl’s chest, taking an experimental lick at his nipple.

Dark jerked his hips surprised at the feeling, it tingled all through his spine down to his aching cock. “Christ fuck. Rick!”

Rick chuckled and sucked the nipple into his mouth in the same way Daryl had done to him. He was briefly distracted from the feeling as Rick’s hand inched its way towards his back.

Rick paused. “Is this okay?” Rick asked, wiggling his fingers.

Daryl hesitated; Rick would feel them. He’d know what they are. Yet he still wanted to trust him. So he croaked, “Yeah.”

Rick snaked his hand around him. Daryl gasped as he brushed over the two scars that ran parallel along his lower back. He tensed and waited for Rick to say anything, for pity to shine in Rick’s eyes, but Rick didn’t even blink. He laid back down and pulled Daryl towards him, capturing his lips.

His hand was exploring slowly, but didn't pay special attention to any scar he just felt them and carried on, touching everything he could.

They moved together, Rick thrusted up in time with Daryl’s downward movements, lips moving in perfect sync.

In one smooth motion Rick pulled out and lifted Daryl’s hips until he slipped out and flipped them over. Daryl went willingly, watching Rick as the other man knelt between his bent legs and lowered his head to start kissing and biting all over his chest and stomach, paying special attention to his nipples and around his navel.

"Wish I could see you better," Rick murmured against his skin. "Wanna kiss every inch of you."

Daryl tried to think of something to say to Rick in reply but his mind faltered. Rick seemed unperturbed by his silence, lips never pausing. Daryl pushed up into him when Rick kissed his stomach right beside his aching dick. Only then did he realise he hasn’t been touched yet but Rick ignored it in favour of continuing down biting lightly on the soft tissue on his thigh.

Daryl bucked his hips at the strange but incredible feeling. Rick chuckled and moved back up to lick a long swipe over his cock, Daryl jumped and bucked again as Rick took him fully into his mouth, wrapping his hand around the base and started moving up and down, stroking anything he couldn’t take in his mouth.

Daryl threaded his hand through Rick’s curls.

“Rick-- Jesus. Rick. You’re gonna make me cum,” Daryl gasped. “Need ya to fuck me again first.”

Rick pulled away, smirking. He pushed Daryl’s knees further apart and crawled over him. He leant down to kiss him again as he lined himself up and pushed in.

Daryl gasped at the sudden stretch, pleasure bursting through him. The burn combined with Rick’s lips still on his was nearly too much. He pulled back to look Rick in the eye, they were so dark they nearly merged into the blackness of the tent.

“Rick-- fuck.”

Daryl reached between them but Rick nudged his hand away, taking hold of Daryl’s cock himself, and stroked him roughly, twisting and pulling his hand just how Daryl liked it.

He pulled his lips away from Daryl's and kissed down his chest, licking at each nipple, never faltering his pace into Daryl until the pleasure in Daryl’s lower belly exploded and he was coming hard. Rick captured his gasps with another kiss and then Rick twitched and was gasping and moaning into Daryl’s mouth.

Rick collapsed onto him, pinning him down but Daryl couldn’t care. He didn’t think he’d ever come so hard in his life.

After a minute, Rick pulled out and rolled off him, staying close enough for their arms to touch.

“Shit,” Rick murmured. Daryl hummed in agreement. “That was--”

“Yeah,” Daryl whispered.

Rick moved away from him for a moment giving Daryl a chance to find his jeans and wipe the cum off his chest but otherwise he didn’t dare move. His back was pressed against the ground where Rick wouldn’t be able to see. His orgasm high fading he was starting to realise what he’d done. He’d never trusted anyone enough to show them. Carol had only seen his back because she wanted in on him getting changed at the back of the bar and even then it was only a glimpse.

“Want me to grab your shirt?” Rick asked.

Daryl stared at Rick across the tent surprised at the question, making his heart swell. “I uh, yes.”

Rick did so without hesitation, even with the darkness Rick still turned away giving Daryl a chance to put it on.

Daryl held it in one hand staring at Rick. The show of care from him was nearly overwhelming.

That feeling came back of wanting to trust Rick. “Actually, I’m okay,” he said, surprised to find he believed it. He was okay with it. He laid down so that his back was pressed against the ground and it was dark enough Rick couldn’t see anyway. He wondered if that would change come morning but right down he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You sure?” Rick asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“Yeah.”

Rick turned back and laid on his side, fading Daryl and slowly ran his hand down Daryl’s arm, pausing on the back of his hand.

Daryl sucked in a breath at the soft movement. He turned his hand around and splayed his fingers around Rick’s. He sucked in a breath suddenly feeling silly. He’d just had Rick’s dick in his ass and yet felt strange holding Rick’s hand. But Rick’s soft breath told him he wasn’t alone in this feeling.

He turned his head to look at Rick only to find Rick staring back at him, amazement shining in his eyes. Daryl started to wonder if he was going crazy. Did Rick feel the same? Did Rick want what he wants? That sex was more than a friends with benefits fuck, there was something happening that he didn’t know what to do with.

“Did you mean it?” Daryl asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“Mean what?” Rick asked just as quietly.

“That…” he looked up at the roof of the tent, glad that it was too dark to see much here. It made it easier to talk. “Jus’... I duno. The idea of us never havin’ met. You seemed…” he faltered, unsure what he was asking.

“Yeah,” Rick answered. “I don’t like that idea.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Rick repeated. “God. Daryl. Why _not_?”

“I ain’t-- I’m messed up, man.”

“Ain’t we all?”

“You don’t-- I--” Daryl hesitated, trying to word it but Rick squeezed his hand.

“Daryl… look… I get it. You’ve been through some shit,” Rick said carefully, “but you can tell me in your own time. It’s not gonna change anythin’. I wanna get to know you more an’ I know ya said ya don’t date but…” Rick took a few deep breaths, calming himself and slowly rubbed his thumb over the back of Daryl’s hand. “I-- God. Daryl I’ve fallen for ya. And if that freaks you out, I’m sorry. I just-- fuck. I wanna take ya out on a proper date when we get back. I want more than this and… I think you feel the same-- but… do you?”

Daryl couldn’t breathe throughout Rick’s entire confession, his heart was beating wildly in his chest. Aaron and Eric flashed into his mind and he thought - could he really have that? He pushed away Negan’s face reminding him he couldn’t.

He knew it would be a terrible idea, let himself get his heart broken, but he wanted to trust Rick. Nobody had ever been so patient with him; they all wanted to know, all _demanded_ to know.

“Daryl… please say somethin’,” Rick croaked.

“Yeah,” Daryl said, struggling to get the word out. “I’ve-- I’ve fallen for you too.”

He felt Rick practically melt against him and pushed himself up on his elbow. Daryl lifted his head meeting Rick in the middle just a soft chaste touch of the lips.

“Thank fuck, this was gonna make the next two days real awkward if you said no,” Rick said, laughing softly.

Daryl chuckled but it felt false. He was still trying to get his breathing and heartbeat under control. He didn’t know _how_ to date.

“We should get some sleep,” Daryl said instead. “Early mornin’.”

“Alright.” Rick pulled away for a moment and Daryl heard some shuffling around, fabric fulfilling and zips. Daryl thought about helping but he didn’t want to lift his back off the ground, not yet.

After a moment he felt an unzipped sleeping bag being pulled over them both and Rick took the same position, hand clutching Daryl’s.

“G’night, Daryl.”

“Night,” Daryl whispered.

It took him awhile to get to sleep, his mind a tumble of emotions and questions and he was pretty sure Rick was just as awake but he didn’t want to break this comfortable silence, enjoying Rick’s warmth against him.

* * *

Rick woke up slowly, struggling to come out of his dreams of Daryl’s hands and lips all over him. He could feel the warm body beneath his and took a moment to realise it was Daryl.

Rick opened his eyes, blinking a few times against the light and looked at Daryl. The other man was still asleep for the moment giving Rick a chance to really look at him.

He looked younger in his sleep, innocent without the constant crease in his forehead. Rick slowly lowered his eyes down to where the top of Daryl’s chest was visible, a light spattering of hair in the middle. He wanted to reach out and touch it but for Daryl trusted him enough to remove his shirt, Rick couldn’t break that whilst Daryl was asleep.

He thought about what he felt last night, the raised yet smooth and stiff line across his back, two of them running parallel. He didn’t dare explore further for Daryl’s comfort but anger burnt in his chest when he realised what they meant but he had to force himself to stay calm. The last thing he wanted was to scare Daryl off.

Daryl shifted and then tensed suddenly, eyes flying open and catching Ricks.

Rick smiled softly. “Mornin’.” He leant in for a gentle kiss. Daryl only tensed further but didn’t fight it.

“Uh, mornin’,” Daryl said, the crease coming back in full force.

Rick sat up and started digging through his bag for some clothes but realised after a moment Daryl hadn’t moved. He glanced around to see Daryl staring at him, worry etched on his face and he realised although Daryl had removed his shirt and let Rick touch his back, even decided he didn’t want his shirt back on, he didn’t want Rick to see yet.

He smiled and quickly pulled on his shirt and pants. “I’ll give you a minute.”

A hand gripped his wrist and Rick paused. “Nah. It’s… it’s okay.”

“You sure?” Rick asked, waiting for Daryl to confirm.

“Yeah.”

Rick turned slowly, giving Daryl a chance to change his mind.

He heard Daryl shifting and when Rick turned he barely held back the gasp. His back was covered in thick crisscrossed scars that could have only come from one thing.

He wanted to be sick as he understood what Daryl was trying to tell him last night. He had guessed Daryl hadn’t grown up with a good father, but for him to have belt scars on his back was worse than he could have imagined.

But Daryl was trembling in front of him, breaths coming out in sharp short bursts, waiting for Rick’s reaction.

So Rick had to stay calm. He remembered Daryl saying: “Why use words when you could just do somethin’?”

Daryl needed actions not words.

He reached out to place his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, immediately regretting it when Daryl jumped so hard he nearly hit the tent side.

“Sorry.” He waited for Daryl to settle down before asking, “Can I touch you?”

“Yeah,” Daryl said, his voice rougher than usual.

He placed his hand on Daryl’s shoulder and squeezed gently and then used his other hand to trace down one of the larger scars. "Is this okay?"

Daryl managed a small nod but Rick could see how much he was shaking, hands gripping the sleeping bag.

They were old scars, yet still red and slightly raised. "Do they still hurt?" Rick asked.

Daryl was quiet for a while and then said, "Uh, no? Healed up a long time ago."

Rick smiled at the confusion in Daryl’s tone and explained, "Just sometimes scars deep enough cause nerve or muscle damage. Here, lay down." Rick gently nudged him until he was laying on his front and started rubbing down his back, pressing into the muscle. Daryl gasped at the first only tensing further at first. “Tell me to stop if you want,” Rick thought to tell him.

Daryl grunted but when he didn’t say anything, Rick carried on. Daryl slowly began to relax under his massage, his shaking began to abate.

Rick didn’t know how long they did that before Daryl started to shift around. Rick took the hint and pulled away. Daryl didn’t look at him at first as he dug through his bag to get dressed.

“Feels much better, thanks,” Daryl said quietly.

“Anytime. Really.” Rick waited until Daryl was dressed before sliding up to his side, making sure to make enough noise that Daryl knew what he was doing.

“Hey,” Rick put a hand on his cheek gently guiding Daryl to look at him and kissed him. Loving the feel of his soft lips and beard scratching his own light stubble. He loved that he could do this now, whenever he wanted.

When he pulled back the crease had gone from Daryl’s brow and he smiled shyly.

“We should…” He gestured outside, “I brought some breakfast. Make the most of the light.”

“Sure,” Rick agreed, giving him another quick peck on the cheek.

* * *

It turned out Daryl was a really good teacher; Rick was just a terrible learner as he kept making too much noise and walking over the tracks. Thankfully Daryl didn’t seem too annoyed at him. He managed to shoot two squirrels and a rabbit, tying them on a string and making Rick carry them over his shoulder.

They stopped for a lunch of scavenged berries and some sandwiches Daryl had packed.

They had been walking side by side in a comfortable silence but Rick didn’t see Daryl stop until he shouted, “Rick, stop!”

Rick stopped around only to find his feet disappearing beneath him and he found himself sliding through the mud, branches scratching him on the way to the bottom until he finally landed in thick mud.

Rick scrambled to get to his feet and tried to wipe the mud off his face but only succeeded in spreading it around. Loud laughter caught his attention and he looked up to see Daryl doubled over with it.

“Hey!” Rick shouted although he couldn’t find it in him to be vexed at Daryl when he’d never seen him laughing so openly.

“Shit… you okay?” Daryl asked between bursts of laughter.

“Just my pride hurt,” Rick admitted, looking around for the best way to climb back up.

“Stay there,” Daryl said, still grinning. He shifted the crossbow onto his back and grabbed one of the trees, expertly climbing down without one slip.

“Anywhere I can get clean?” Rick asked, grimaning as he tried once again to rub the mud out of his face.

Daryl brought out the bandana he usually kept in his back pocket and offered it out to Rick.

“Thanks, but I was hoping for a stream or something?” He still took the bandana to use for his face and hands as much as possible.

Daryl smirked. “Damn city slickers, can’t deal with a bit of mud.”

Rick looked down at himself, still dripping with mud and an idea came to him. He grinned and lifted his arms. “You know, we’ve had sex but never hugged.”

Daryl’s eyes went wide and he tried to step back but Rick lunged forward grabbing him in a hug, ignoring Daryl’s half hearted protests and struggles. Wrapping his arms tightly around Daryl’s back.

“Prick,” Daryl said in the end, sagging into his arms, tightening his own arms around Rick before pulling back.

Rick laughed and stepped away watching Daryl picking up the now muddy squirrels and rabbits.

“Oops?”

Daryl shrugged. “Gotta skin ‘em anyway.” He handed them back to Rick.

“So, stream?”

Daryl gestured with his head and started walking. Rick quickly followed, grimacing at the mud making his clothes heavy.

It was nearly a twenty minute walk before Daryl pushed a thicket and they found themselves standing on the shore of a large clear blue lake. The sun light shone off the water creating the image of diamonds floating on the surface.

Directly to their right there was a five-foot-wide waterfall flowing down what looked like steps in the wall, perfectly sculptured into the rock around them. Trees and bushes grew at the edge of the pool, leaning over the water like an animal leaning down to drink their fill. The water then flowed away on their left, disappearing into the forest.

Across the lake he could just about see a couple of tents and men sat outside them, and he could see a boat on the lake further out.

“Oh wow,” Rick murmured.

Rick walked slowly towards the water and crouched down using it to wash his hands and face, beside him Daryl did the same.

“This place is-- wow.”

“S’where the fishermen usually come,” Daryl explained, nodding towards the tents across from them.

“Even so.” Rick stripped off his shirt and started unbuckling his pants.

“What’r’ya doin’?” Daryl asked, frowning.

“Gettin’ clean.” He hung his clothes over a tree branch, keeping his boxers on, and walked into the water. It was sharply cold but felt nice against the hot Georgian sun.

He kept going until it reached his waist and then dived forward into a swim, the cold causing him to gasp but he kept going, dropping under the water and washing the mud out of his hair.

When he surfaced he turned to see Daryl hadn’t moved, Rick considered shouting for him to join but he didn’t want Daryl to feel like Rick was forcing him to remove his shirt just because he did once.

Instead he just waved and ducked back down to swim and wash the mud off himself.

* * *

Daryl watched Rick swimming around occasionally ducking under and then coming back up for air.

He wanted to join him but didn’t wanna soak his shirt and couldn’t bring himself to take it off. He felt silly for it, Rick had seen it and massaged him. Touched him all over and didn’t seem to care. He’d spent the whole day waiting for the other shoe to drop, even for Rick to push him to talk about it but Rick didn’t ask a single question.

The hunt had been useless but Daryl couldn’t bring himself to care, he had actually _enjoyed_ himself. A hunt was never that much fun, it was just relaxing and a way to recharge.

He expected it to be exhausting having to socialise and constantly talk with someone but Rick was easy to be around. He didn’t make any attempt at pushing Daryl into talking at all. It made everything much less challenging.

When Rick surfaced and looked at Daryl, he waited for the: “C’mon Daryl! You took it off alright, come in!” but instead Rick just waved and continued swimming.

Daryl sucked in a deep breath and stripped down to his underwear, hanging his clothes beside Rick’s and started to walk into the water.

He was deep enough to dive and start swimming when he realised Rick hadn’t seen him.

Daryl grinned to himself and dived under. Through the dark water he could just make out Rick’s kicking feet. Daryl swum towards them and as soon as he was close enough he grabbed one of his ankles and pulled. Rick flailed and tried to kick him. Daryl pulled back and swum straight up.

Rick also surfaced and Daryl laughed at his wide eyes expression.

“Prick!” Rick shouted, splashing him.

Daryl responded with his own bigger splash ending up in a mini battle between them which ended with Rick grabbing Daryl’s wrists and pulling his arm behind his back to restrain him.

“Not fair, man,” Daryl scowled. Rick grinned and released him.

Daryl immediately responded with another small splash.

“You’re worse’n Carl!” Rick said moving into his space so he couldn’t splash him.

Carl.

Daryl’s mood immediately dropped; Rick has a son.

If he was going to do this, get into a relationship with Rick, he would end up involved in the boy’s life. A father figure.

He didn’t know how to do that. He didn’t exactly have the best role models.

Sure, he looked out for Sophia but he wasn’t dating Carol. He was just a friend; Uncle Daryl that snuck her chocolate when Carol wasn’t looking.

This would be completely different.

“Daryl?” Rick said, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You okay?”

“Mm hm,” Daryl hummed.

Rick narrowed his eyes. “What did I say?”

Daryl hesitated, he considered lying about it but Rick was looking at him eyes wide and worried, he hated making Rick look like that.

“Jus’ Carl,” Daryl admitted.

“What about him? He likes ya, asked ‘bout ya ta next time I saw him after he was ill.”

“It ain’t that. I-- if we’re gonna… date,” he said carefully, every word heavy on his tongue unused to speaking honestly, “Do you-- I ain’t had the best father figures.”

Understanding dawned over Rick’s face and for the first time since they left the tent, Rick’s eyes flicked down to his shoulder where one of the scars was hidden just behind. Then looked back up at Daryl, reaching out to a hand on that same shoulder.

“Look, Carl is the most important thing in the world to me,” Rick said slowly, “an’ if this between us works, I’d love for ya to be part of his life. I trust you with him. But we’re jus’ startin’ out. We haven’t even gone on a date yet. No reason to freak yet.”

Daryl breathed slowly, nodding. Rick was right. “Yeah. A’right. We should…” Daryl gestured with his head to the shore.

As they got out, they stopped to wash as much mud off their clothes as they could; the sun would dry them quickly enough, before starting back to camp.

* * *

“It’s… no venison,” Rick said that evening, chewing on his piece of squirrel leg. “Sweeter than expected.”

“S’good in a stew. Cook up some carrots, potatoes. Use the bones to make stock. I’ll cook ya some, sometime.”

“It’s a date,” Rick said, when Daryl looked up sharply Rick just smiled.

Daryl managed to mirror his smile despite the way his chest constricted at that single word.

He’d never been on a date.

He couldn’t quite believe everything that happened. He showed his back to someone by his own violation for the first time ever and Rick hadn’t given him useless platitudes that just spelt pity, he gave him a _massage_ , proving to Daryl he wasn’t put off by the scars. Still wanted him and trusts him with his son.

It was too good to be true, Daryl knew it was. He had never had this many good things happen to him at once, and Rick was so good. The other shoe was bound to drop any moment but Daryl wanted to enjoy this whilst it lasted; despite a voice that sounded all too much like Merle reminding how much more it will hurt when it’s over.

They had finished eating when Daryl caught Rick’s eye. The other man had the same caring look on his face that he was starting to recognise. It terrified him.

He ducked his head but Rick reached out, brushing his hair out of his face.

“I’ve never been on a date,” he admitted to Rick not wanting the man to have too high expectations.

“Really?”

Daryl shrugged. “Always jus’ had casual sex. You’re only the second guy I’ve actually slept with more’n once.”

“Been a long time since I’ve gone on a date,” Rick said. “But I don’t think it’s much different to this. Jus’... I wanna make this official, a proper date with you. Show you off.”

Daryl smiled shyly and resisted the urge to hide or ride, not for the first time wishing he had a way with words to know how to reply.

Rick didn’t seem to care. He pressed his hand over Daryl cheek and pulled him in for another chaste kiss, soft lips molding against his. Not pushing for anything but promising everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	6. Do I Have The Right To Ask You

Daryl woke up to a pleasure building in his lower belly, still dreaming of the night before, Rick’s knees bent up to his chest, Daryl’s dick deep inside him. Hands and lips exploring each other.

Yet he was waking up and the pleasure was still building, a warmth around his achingly hard dick. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Rick leaning over him, perfect lips wrapped around his cock, looking up at Daryl through his eyelashes.

“Fuck, Rick,” Daryl hissed, surprised.

Rick hummed around him, he licked over his head and his fingers wrapped around the base where he couldn’t take Daryl in the whole way. He ran his hand through Rick’s curls, Rick tilted his head into Daryl’s hand.

His head moved up and down, lips sliding over him until Daryl felt the pleasure building. He pulled at Rick’s hair pulling him off but Rick kept moving his hand until Daryl was cumming hard, gasping at the force of it, covering his bare chest.

Rick dropped down beside him grinning.

“Gimmie a minute,” Daryl breathed. “I’ll--” he gestured vaguely at Rick.

“Don’t need you too.”

Daryl found a cloth to clean himself off and then rolled over. He wrapped his hand around Rick’s length, the other man gasped and bucked into him.

Daryl watched him carefully as he stroked him, watching his eyes squeeze shut, listened for every gasp, more than ever wanting to learn what made him tick. Daryl brought his mouth down to lick Rick’s nipple now understanding why he enjoyed it so much.

Rick jerked and gasped as he came hard, over Daryl’s hand and his own stomach.

Before he could think about it, Daryl brought his fingers to his mouth and licked the cum off. Rick’s eyes went wide and his pupils grew in size. “ _ Jesus _ .”

Daryl smirked and found some tissue to clean off the rest.

Rick pushed himself up on his elbow and put a hand on the back of Daryl’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss, licking into his mouth and moaning when he tasted himself on Daryl’s tongue.

“We goin’ back out today?” Rick asked, murmuring against his lips.

“Was thinkin’ ta for a few hours?” Daryl said, gasping as Rick started kissing down his neck. “Come back, have lunch’n pack up. I gotta work tonight.”

“Okay.”

“Pretty hard to walk with yer lips attached,” Daryl said, unable to help leaning into it.

Rick chuckled and pulled away. “Alright. Breakfast first?”

* * *

Daryl listened to Rick stomping behind him. He was treading more carefully than the day before but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scaring off everything in a half mile radius.

He still managed to shoot a few squirrels, enjoying the way Rick’s eyes darkened every time he lifted his crossbow.

He was following some tracks that almost certainly were too old to lead to anything but obvious enough to teach Rick, when Rick asked, “First time you had sex?”

Daryl looked back at him to see Rick was staring intently at the ground and occasionally taking a wide berth to avoid a twig. Rick looked up when Daryl didn’t reply.

“How old were ya?” Rick clarified. “I was seventeen, in the bouncy castle I told you ‘bout. Awkward an’ probably terrible, but I didn’t care at the time.”

“Why?” Daryl frowned, unsure how he felt about answering. 

Rick shrugged. “Making conversation? Wanna get to know you better.”

Daryl turned back, blushing. “Twenty three. Rando at a gay bar outta town.” He waited for the shame at why he waited so long but Rick hummed.

“I was twenty two first time I had sex with a guy,” Rick said. “Lori an’ I had a huge fight an’ broke up. I was pissed, slept with the guy at the academy that’d been flirtin’ with me for months.”

“Did ya always know ya were inta guys as well as girls?” Daryl asked.

“Yeah. Jus’ knew. Lied to myself for a while y’know,” Rick said seriously. “Kids at school talkin’ ‘bout how horrible it is. When I was fourteen I told my Mom an’ she told me to stick with women ‘because it’ll be easier’, then never mentioned it again. Never dared tellin’ dad. Other than tha’ though I didn’t think ‘bout guys till after Lori an’ I got divorced.”

Daryl snorted. “Fourteen, huh? Same age as me when my old man found out.” He felt more than saw Rick lookup sharply. He bit his lip and before Rick could ask anything more he said quickly, “I tried to hide it for a while. Jus’ ignored it till I couldn’t anymore.”

“Wha’ ‘bout Merle?” Rick asked carefully.

“When did he lose his virginity?” Daryl asked, forcing a smirk on his face. He knew what Rick was asking but wasn’t ready to go into it. Not yet. “Not somethin’ I’ve ever wanted ta know. Though he brags ‘bout it bein’ thirteen or some shit.”

Rick snorted but thankfully didn’t push.

“Ya close ta your parents?” Daryl asked curiously; he’d not heard Rick mention them before.

“I was. Dad died when I was in the academy - car accident. Mom died when Carl was two - cancer.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Rick shrugged. “Been a few years.” Daryl fell quiet, unsure how to respond. “When are you startin’ at Aaron’s?” Rick asked, thankfully changing the subject.

“Soon as we get a replacement at the bar. Doubt it’ll take long,” Daryl said hopefully.

“Can’t wait, huh?” Rick laughed.

“Better’n workin’ at Merle’s bar,” Daryl admitted. “Never considered leavin’ though.”

He checked his watch. “We should start headin’ back.”

* * *

Daryl pulled up by Rick's apartment building and they both chuckled nervously, the magic of the weekend coming to an abrupt stop as reality was thrusted upon them.

“Tomorrow?” Rick asked.

“Huh?”

"I've gotta work but I finish at six. I can pick you up at seven?" Daryl frowned and glanced at him for a second confused. "For our date," Rick explained, biting back the laughter and reminding himself Daryl hadn't been on any dates before. He would have to be patient with him.

“Oh.” Daryl said, surprised.

"If you want?" Rick asked, suddenly unsure - did Daryl  _ want  _ to go on a date? "I know we've spent the weekend together but... I wanna make this official with a first date. Dinner, go out on the town, y'know?”

Daryl smiled shyly. "Yeah. Tomorrow night. I'll uh, see if anyone can swap shifts and let ya know?"

"Okay, great."

They looked at each other for a moment and then moved together, Rick's hand going to Daryl's cheek to pull him close pressing his lips to Daryl’s. Daryl licked at Rick’s lower lip and Rick happily opened his mouth to him.

Fingers tightening on Rick’s knee, moaning into his mouth.

As they separated Rick sighed content to just stay here, holding Daryl close.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Rick promised. He opened the door and climbed out, hearing Daryl's quiet reply just before he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Rick loved his job but the entire day was going by much too slowly. He was on patrol with Tara but it was a quiet day with only a failed robbery and domestic disturbance. He wanted something that would take time, make the day go faster.

Rick spent most of it thinking about the evening. He didn't want to overwhelm Daryl but he wanted it to be perfect and he knew exactly what to do; go to a shooting range. When they first met he had told Daryl he needed to prove to Daryl that he was a good shot. They could go out for dinner afterwards.

It was nearing the end of their shift when the call came over the radio about needing back-up due to a fight in the bar Sanctuary.

Both Tara responded that they were close by and started towards it.

It only took a few minutes to get to the bar where they could already hear the shouting from inside.

Rick quickly followed Tara to run inside where it was chaos. Punches flying, broken glass spread across the room. He could just see Shane getting a young blonde woman into handcuffs.

He watched as a large bald man was thrown onto a table, the wood cracking and breaking beneath him. Another guy’s head was being smashed into the wall by a larger man, who Simon was trying to restrain.

Rick ran straight into the fray with Tara. He joined Simon and pulled the guy away as his victim collapsed to the ground. Rick immediately put him into handcuffs and then heard glass smashing behind him.

He turned in time to see someone rushing at him with a broken bottle. Rick dodged it, grabbing his arm making an attempt to twist it into an arm lock. Pain blossomed through his head as glass and wine rained down in front of his eyes, making him let go of the arm and stumble away. His head spun and Rick attempted to turn only managing to fall over, wincing as his hands landed on some glass cutting into him.

Someone grunting above him and Rick rolled over to see Shane standing above him; hand outstretched.

Rick took it, letting Shane pull him up to his feet, but felt like his head was moving slower than his body.

“Whoa, steady there.” Shane grabbed him around the waist and helped him to the bar to lean against and then turned away to grab a tall bearded guy and zip tied his arms together.

Simon and Tara were attempting to subdue the large bald guy who was trying to get to Shane.

Rick tried to push himself off the bar to help and then another burst of pain hit his side. Rick snapped his elbow backwards hitting something solid and felt the person stumbling backwards, causing another sharp pain in his side.

Rick turned to look at the same guy who had bottled him over the head, an older man with a long salt and pepper beard, and long hair pulled into a bun. He was gripping a bloody knife in one hand. Rick didn’t dare think about what that meant and reached for his gun.

The guy saw the movement and lunged for Rick again, knife at the ready. Rick dodged it but the movement made his head spin and felt the knife slice through his upper arm. He wrapped his fingers around his gun, but before he could do anything another gunshot went off and the bar fell quiet.

Through blurred vision Rick saw the knived man crumple to the ground. Only then did Rick risk a look down at his side. Blood seeping into his clothes at an alarming rate.

The rest of the bar was quiet, the rest of the patrons either allowing Tara and Simon to zip tie their wrists or had run from the cops.

“Rick?” Shane was at his side, holstering his gun and ripping off his jacket. “Rick, c’mon sit down.” Shane grabbed his elbow and started to lead him. Rick tried to follow but the moment pulled at his side and his knees gave way. “Whoa! Here, I got ya man.” Shane helped lower him to the ground.

“Whoa, Rick! C’mon, you’re okay, you’re okay.” He turned away and shouted, “Need some help over here!”

Rick squinted, Shane’s figure becoming distorted. This was really not his day.

He realised with some disappointment he was going to be late to meet Daryl. He tried to reach for his phone but Shane grabbed his arm. “The hell are you doin’ man, keep still! You’ve been stabbed!”

Rick wanted to tell him but he was interrupted by a young Asian man in a blue uniform kneeling beside Shane and pulled his shirt open.

Another wave of pain shot through him as the Asian man started examining the wound for a few seconds before replacing the cloth. Shane started explaining that Rick was bottled over the head, stabbed, and the knife was pulled out by the assailant.

“Rick, brother, you still with me?” Shane asked, pressing a hand onto his forehead.

Rick tried to listen to what Shane was saying to him but his head was swimming. There were two Shane’s talking to him.

He tried to say Daryl’s name, tell Shane to call him but he felt like if he opened his mouth he was going to puke.

* * *

“Shit!” Daryl shouted as the bottle smashed on the ground, the beer inside spilling over his shoes. He stepped back to grab another bottle giving it to the guy waiting.

“You alright, man?” the guy asked. Daryl glared up at him, he was working alone for the afternoon after swapping the shift with Dwight. But he always hated the lunch shifts more than the evening ones, at least in the evening he was able to go out for a smoke on the quiet moments and leave whoever he was working with alone.

God, did he need a smoke. He couldn’t stop thinking about that evening. His first ever date.

He knew he was going to do something to screw it up. Every drink he poured he had to resist downing it, if he got drunk he would certainly screw it up his nerves would just turn into anger with alcohol.

“Fine,” he spat at the guy. “Need anythin’ else?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Daryl stepped into the back to find the cleaning supplies and knelt down to clean up the glass, hissing as he accidentally touched some of the glass managing to cut his thumb. He sucked it into his mouth trying his best not to start cursing it. Thinking that at least it gave him a brief distraction from his thoughts of Rick.

Of the way Rick kept looking at him, eyes so intense. He didn’t think anybody had ever looked at him like that, with such care in his gaze.

That just made everything so much harder, he didn’t want to disappoint Rick, he didn’t think he could deal with it if that look changed to disgust or pity.

“Hey man,” someone spoke up pulling Daryl out of his thoughts.

Daryl glanced over at the guy, a taller blonde man he vaguely recognized as a regular daytime drinker. He never bothered to learn many people’s names, preferring to just stay in the background and only talk when needed.

Daryl poured the glass into the bin and glanced over eyebrows raised to show the guy he was listening.

“Heard yer lookin’ for a new bartender?”

Daryl blinked, surprised. He didn’t expect Merle to put the word out already. “How’d ya hear?”

“Carol, the woman bartender said so. Ain’t ya?”

Daryl bit back a smile making a mental note to thank Carol for doing that. “We are.”

The guy grinned, showing all of his teeth. “My nephew moved in with me a few weeks back after an argument with parents, from Boston. Needs a job.”

“Over twenty one?” Daryl asked, the guy nodded. “Merle’s workin’ tonight, tell ‘im to come by.”

The guy grinned. “Thanks.”

Daryl hoped he’d come through, he couldn’t wait to get out of here.

* * *

If anybody ever asked Daryl how many times he changed his outfit before his date with Rick, he would shoot them through the eye with his crossbow just to avoid having to admit it.

He eventually decided on one of his nicer blue shirts, one of his few he hadn’t ripped the sleeves off yet. He put his winged vest on over the top and settled on black jeans.

Thankfully Merle had left for work by the time Daryl was ready so Daryl didn’t have to deal with his snide comments about Daryl’s appearance.

He made it to the living room practically shaking with nerves. Daryl cursed himself for his own stupidity. He was just going to spend time with Rick, the same as he did most days recently.

He checked the time. It was seven, he was just in time.

Daryl paced his small living room.

At ten past he checked his phone wondering if Rick was going to be delayed but had forgotten to text him.

At twenty past he went to sit on the steps outside incase Rick forgot which trailer was his, since they did all look the same if you didn't know the area well.

At half past he tried calling Rick but it went straight to voicemail. Daryl cut off and went to the entrance to the trailer park to wait.

He texted Rick:  _ u said 7, yeah? _

At eight thirty he called again and went back into the trailer to wait with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey and heavy acceptance. Rick had just felt his scars and felt sorry for him, just said what he needed to hear, none of it had been true.

Daryl bet Rick couldn’t wait to get out of the camping trip so he didn't have to see him anymore.

The worst part was that he knew this would happen but he had ignored those instincts. Rick was always going to let him down.

Except he was still waiting, hoping Rick would turn up, a believable explanation on his lips.

He tried desperately not to think about how Rick looked at him in the tent at night or in the lake 'I trust you with him.'. Or of waking up in the night to Rick's arms wrapped around him snoring gently, pulling Daryl closer when he shifted away, and the way his hands felt as he massaged his back so carefully without any trace of pity.

By ten he'd finished the bottle and scrolled through the multiple unanswered calls and texts and sent him one last text:  _ changed your mind? _

He threw the bottle of whiskey watching with momentarily but extreme satisfaction as both smashed against the wall; the glass sprayed across the room.

Daryl grabbed the remote and threw it against the same wall with a cry of rage. At least he knew now. Never to trust anybody.

He got to his feet, stumbling and nearly fell over a couple of times before he made it into Merle’s room where he searched for the moonshine he knew his brother had hidden somewhere. He found it hidden at the back of his cupboard along with multiple porn magazines with questionable stains on them, and baggies of a white powder.

Daryl held it up for a moment, considering it. Become the man Rick thought he was, nothing but white trash.

He threw it back in the cupboard before he could give into that temptation, and opened the jar of moonshine revealing in the burn, ten times worse than whiskey.

He could nearly hear Rick, laughing with Shane.  _ “Look at this eager idiot, such a fuckin’ pussy. We were fuckin’ and I realised his backs been scarred to fuck, what the hell was I supposed to do? Asked him on a date. Fuck knows why.” _

A voice tried to tell him that wasn’t Rick but he didn’t care,

He sipped at the moonshine again willing himself to forget how good the weekend was.

“What the fuck?!”

Daryl jumped at the shout but when he opened his eyes it felt like someone stabbed them so he squeezed them closed again.

“Get the fuck off my bed!” Merle shouted.

Daryl groaned and managed to squint through one eye at his older brother glaring down at him. “Huh?”

“Get off my bed!”

Daryl looked down, the small movement causing his head to start spinning but he realised he was still holding a bottle in his hand. He lifted it to his lips but before he could drink it, it was wretched from his hand.

"Get your hands off that! Y'know how long I've had that brewing!" Merle shouted. Daryl tried to protest but his hands were so numb. “What the fuck, Daryl!”

"Yer're 'ight," Daryl slurred. "'m 'n id't."

Merle didn't respond, he just grabbed Daryl's arm and pulled him up. Daryl tried to fight him as the dizziness hit him but Merle was stronger than him right now and dragged him into the living room, dumping him on one of the chairs.

* * *

Rick woke up slowly, his head pounding. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking rapidly as he tried to adjust to the low light in the room. The moon pouring through the wide window was his only source of light.

Shane was fast asleep, laying across a bench that ran under the window and Rick frowned and looked around the rest of the hospital room. On his other side was an IV, blood pressure, and heart monitor all beside him, the wires all running down to his hand and chest.

The memory came flooding back to him along with the realisation that his side was aching like hell. He slowly lifted the cover and pulled at his gown so he could see but there was a bandage across it.

“Rick?” Shane spoke up, sitting up on the bench frowning. “Hey brother. How ya feelin’?”

“Uh,” he covered himself back up and made an attempt to sit up but Shane was at his side in a second pressing down on his chest.

“Whoa, don’t move man. Wait here.” He ducked out of the room leaving Rick with his spinning thoughts. He wasn’t entirely sure what happened; he’d been in tons of bar fights with only a few injuries.

He was supposed to be going something but his mind felt like he was trying to climb out of a thick fog.

Shane came back in with a young brunette woman.

“Officer Grimes,” the nurse greeted him with a kind smile. “My name is Lilly Chambler.” At Rick’s frown she laughed softly. “Yes, Tara is my sister. She knew I was working so asked me to keep an eye on you. How are you feeling?”

She came deeper into the room and looked at the screens beside Rick.

"Uh," Rick blinked a few times. He needed to do something. Something important. "Confused," he went with. The most honest answer.

Lilly smiled kindly. "That's to be expected." She poured him a cup of water with a straw in and held it out to help him drink some. 'Do you remember what happened?"

“Yeah,” Rick croaked, eyes already becoming heavy.

“One to ten pain scale? Ten being the worst.”

Rick shrugged and then cried out as a sharp pain shot through his side, swiftly waking him up. Shane gasped and stepped closer to him, hands outstretched. "Was a four or five,” he added once he caught his breath.

“Yeah,” Lilly said with a wince, “best to try not to move much for a couple of days. You were very lucky. The knife went in four inches and thankfully just missed your liver and any other vital organs. That's not to say this is going to be an easy recovery, just will be a full one.” She took his head and tilted it slightly looking at the side then released him. “Look at my finger please,” she held up one finger and shone a torch into his eyes, moving it around and then switched it off.

Rick blinked rapidly trying to clear the bright dot now in his vision.

“How does your head feel?”

“Aches.”

She stepped away to check one of the machines that had a tube to the IV and unhooked a small remote that was wired to it.

"Here, when you feel you need more pain medication, you can press this and it'll adjust your dosage only as and when needed," she pressed the bottom she pointed at, "you can't overdose with it."

"Thanks." Rick took it from her and bit back a yawn.

She smiled gently. "You should get some more rest."

Rick didn’t hesitate to close his eyes and start to drift off, but when he heard movement he opened his eyes and found Shane had sat back on the bench. He had a bruise blooming across the side of his face, a plaster across his temple and was texting.

"You okay?" Rick asked him, surprised at his own worry.

Shane looked up with eyes wide. “Thought you fell back to sleep.”

“Not yet,” Rick yawned. “You get hurt?”

“Nah. Few cuts and bruises, nothin’ I can’t handle. You were just damned unlucky. Saw you get bottled then fuckin' stabbed, man." Shane's voice broke by the end of his sentence, he ran a hand down his face. "Shit, man. I-- I'm sorry. I ain't been a great brother recently."

Rick smiled with such palpable relief at such a simple word. "Yeah. Well.” He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Jus’ texted Lori ta let ya know yer awake,” Shane thought to tell him. “She’s been worried. If you’re feelin’ up ta callin’ her?” He waved his phone towards Rick.

Rick gasped, Daryl’s face coming through the fog in his mind. Daryl probably thought Rick stood him up. "Shit! Where's my phone?"

Shane frowned. “I got her number, Rick.”

"Not Lori, Daryl. I was supposed to meet him las' night." The amusement dropped from Shane's face and it went blank.

Rick bit back a sigh. "Don't care what you think of it, man. I need to call him."

Shane grimaced but got off the bench and crouched down to pull out a bag from under the bed and found Rick’s phone. Rick quickly dialed Daryl’s number but it went straight to voicemail. “Damnit.” Rick cursed, he doubted Daryl would listen to it but he left one anyway. “Daryl, it’s Rick. Look man, I got stabbed. Been in hospital. Didn’t wanna stand you up. Please, call me back.” He cut off and sighed heavily, hoping Daryl would listen to it.

He quickly sent off a text explaining the same thing.

“If you’re… datin’... I’m sure he’ll be understandin’,” Shane said slowly.

“Was supposed to be our first date,” Rick explained, searching for Lori’s number. She answered after just one ring.

“Rick?” Lori said with a relieved sigh. “Shane text me to say you’re awake? How you feelin’?”

“Alright, mostly.”

“Thank God. I’ve been so worried.”

“Carl awake?”

“No. I haven’t told him yet, didn’t want him to worry. We’ll be by before school, he’ll want to know.”

Rick hummed, too worried about Daryl’s reaction over Lori’s and Carl’s. “A’right. I’m gonna get some sleep, see you then.”

“Goodnight, Rick. Glad you’re okay.”

Rick cut off the phone and put it on the table, despite his worry about Daryl he was exhausted from just a few short conversations and found himself falling asleep within moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	7. Will You Be Coming Back Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the wonderful sleepyMoritz  
> I promise, chapter 8 will be the finale! I'll stop changing it now!!

“Mornin’ lil brother!” Merle shouted, followed by a loud bang that felt like somebody hit him over the head with a hammer.

Daryl groaned and curled into himself, his stomach regretted the movement but he didn’t dare get up to run to the bathroom.

“How much did ya drink?” Merle asked.

“Fuck you,” Daryl hissed, daring to open his eyes, squinting against the sunlight streaming through the windows.

Merle louded loudly and obnoxiously, slamming his bedroom door closed which sent another spike of pain through Daryl’s skull, and went into the bathroom.

Daryl slowly managed to push himself into a sitting position noticing he was laying across the threshold of his own bedroom. He groaned again, the memory of the night before coming back to him making his stomach turn again.

He was definitely going to be sick. With Merle still in the bathroom, Daryl got to his feet and ran to the sink. His stomach cramped but as he stood still it began to settle. He took a few deep breaths, poured himself a glass of water, and stumbled to his chair.

“The hell you drinkin’ my shit for anyway?” Merle demanded as he came out of the bathroom and opened the fridge to dig through it.

“Wanted a drink,” Daryl mumbled matter-of-fact. “Ain’t got nothin’ else strong ‘nough.” He sipped at his water, hesitating before asking, “Thought ya quit everythin’ else?”

Merle side-eyed him. “Ya found tha’, huh? Ain’t doin’ it on the regular. Jus’ for emergencies.”

“If ya get caught, I ain’t gonna be ‘bout ta take care of the bar no more.”

“I ain’t gonna get caught,” Merle spat, offended at the notion and forgetting he was caught as a teenager. “Unless ya keep bringin’ Officer Friendly by.”

A wave of grief rolled over him, immediately followed by anger at himself for being stupid enough to believe Rick’s promises. “Ain’t gonna happen no more, don’t ya worry.”

“Tha’ what got yer panties in a twist?” Merle asked, then groaned as realisation came over him. “Shit, a  _ cop _ ? C’mon, what’s wrong wit’cha brother?!”

“Ya said ‘fuck the police’,” Daryl muttered, dropping his head back against the head of the chair and closing his eyes to fight the bright sunlight streaming through the window.

He heard Merle groan again. “C’mon man! I don’t need tha’ image!”

“S’wrong way ‘round anyway.”

“ _ Nope _ !” Merle shouted, the volume feeling like a knife to his skull but riling Merle up was worth it. “Told ya not to talk ‘bout that shit!”

“Yer the one tha’ brought it up.” Daryl smirked and pushed himself out of the chair to get some fresh air. The sun was high in the sky and Daryl remembered he was supposed to work that evening and it was already the afternoon.

He walked around the side of the trailer and leant against it, one knee bent to press his foot against it and lit a cigarette. The soothing smoke succeeded in calming his stomach and relaxing him, even temporarily.

He grabbed for his phone to check it only to find the screen smashed to shit, his pocket was full of glass. Touching his thigh beneath his pocket he felt a bruise along it. He tried to remember how he did it, but he could barely remember anything after finding the hooch in Merle’s room.

Daryl pocketed his phone and slid to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. Angry at himself for being so worked up about this. He should have known this would happen. He did know, he had just ignored all of his instincts and let himself fall.

Like the idiot he was always told he was.

* * *

Rick carefully checked through his bag and sat back against the wall to wait for Lori.

He thankfully had been discharged after another night, but to his despair he had been told he needed to rest for at least two weeks and stay with someone if he could. Leaving him to stay with Lori for those two weeks.

She readily agreed and promised to get the downstairs spare room set up for him, aiming to pick him up on the way home from picking up Carl.

As he waited he made another attempt to call Daryl, not surprised when there was no answer. He left another voicemail along with a few texts but he couldn’t exactly blame Daryl for not wanting to talk to him. He knew the other man had issues, he couldn’t imagine what Daryl was thinking.

He didn’t dare stop trying though, he didn’t want Daryl to think he’d given up. He just hoped he could get Daryl to answer, even if it was out of irritation for the constant phone calls. As soon as he explained he knew Daryl would understand.

He just remembered the card Carl had made him, sliding into his bag when the door opened and Lori came in with Carl and a Doctor, a tall skinny man with thick brown hair and glasses.

“Hi Dad!” Carl greeted him excitedly.

“Hey bud.” Rick wondered if he still thought Rick was moving back in, he and Lori had explained that wasn’t the case the day before but that didn’t stop five year olds from making up their own minds.

The doctor checked him over once more, had him sign a few documents and then helped him into a wheelchair to be wheeled out. He tried to protest saying he could walk but the Doctor ignored his protests and got herded into the wheelchair, much to Carl and Lori’s amusement.

“Do ya mind if we stop by my place to pick up some clothes?” Rick asked once they were settled in the car and on the way.

A blush rose up Lori’s neck and her hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I went by earlier for you.”

Rick wondered why she looked so embarrassed about that. He had given her a key for emergencies so that was fine. “Thanks?”

“I- I didn’t realise you was seein’ someone,” Lori said stiffly.

Rick felt his face go hot as he remembered that he hadn’t cleaned up a whole lot since Daryl was over. They had both showered and then gone camping, when he got back the evening before he’d been too tired to care, leaving a used condom in the wicker bin and cum stained sheets that he meant to put in the wash.

“S’new,” he mumbled, not ready to go into it with Lori of all people.

“Oh. Okay.” Lori hesitated, “She got a name?”

Rick winced. He didn’t want to lie but answering the question was too much for him now. “Not right now.”

“Okay,” Lori murmured. “I uh-- I should tell you, Shane’s been stayin’ with me, kinda unofficially moved in,” she said eventually, “ta help out with the pregnancy and all.”

Rick clenched his jaw, he had expected to see Shane more than he’d like whilst being at Lori’s but didn’t expect to have to live with them both. Without having much of a choice right now he just nodded. “A’right.”

Lori pursed her lips and nodded. “Thank you.”

“So, Carl, how was school?” Rick asked, glancing over his shoulder at him.

“We had show and tell!” Carl announced. “Shane gave me your hat to take in!” He picked up the Sheriff’s Deputy hat from where he left it on the chair next to him.

Rick bit back a smile, surprised at Shane’s thoughtfulness in that. “What did everyone else bring?” Rick asked, easily getting Carl talking and distracting himself for the rest of the journey.

Once they made it back, Rick went straight to the downstairs spare room and fell asleep within minutes, exhausted from just a short journey.

* * *

“Rick?”

Rick jumped and opened his eyes, taking a few moments to try to figure out where he was. Someone said his name again and Rick looked up at Shane standing in the doorway.

“Uh, hi man. Brought ya dinner.” He held up a tray.

Rick blinked a few times and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll come eat with ya.”

“You should rest,” Shane argued.

“I’ll go mad if I stay in bed, nothin’ ta do,” Rick argued, he ached but wasn’t used to sitting still for so long. He stared to push himself to sit up. Shane quickly put the tray down and came to his side to help him get out of bed.

Once he was sitting up, Shane got the two tables and glass of water off the tray for Rick to take first. Rick mumbled a thanks and took them without complaint.

He smiled wryly to himself thinking about a year ago when the situation was reversed, except Shane had broken his leg and Rick insisted he stay with them. He wondered if that’s when it started with Lori and he hadn’t noticed. He pushed the question away before he could dwell; it was over and done with now, he was hoping to get into a serious relationship with Daryl and leave those two to their own thing.

Even with Shanes help, it took longer than expected to get out of bed; every movement caused another bolt of pain to shoot through him.

He started to go to the dining room but Shane steered him past. Both Lori and Carl turned to look at them, frowning. “Don’t think a table chair is good for ya.” Instead, they went to the living room and Shane helped him settle on the reading chair before leaving. Lori and Carl came in through. Carl was grinning widely, excited to be able to leave the table during dinner.

He was halfway through dinner when he regretted his decision. Outside of asking how he was feeling nobody had spoken a word since they sat down.

Shane and Lori sat to his side on the couch whilst Carl was on the floor drawing and barely paying attention to his dinner. All three adults sat in silence, nobody knowing what to say. Rick decided to choose boring white walls over this for the next two weeks.

Rick swallowed his bite, cleared his throat and said, “So, Carl, how was school today?” hoping to dispel some of the awkwardness in the air between the three of them.

Carl looked over his shoulder at Rick, frowning. “We had to show and tell? Shane gave me your hat to take in?” Carl said, confused and Rick nodded, remembering Carl telling him earlier.

The room fell into silence again, Shane opened his mouth as though to say something and then closed it again clearing his throat.

Rick snorted to himself. This was going to be a long two weeks.

“Tell ya what, this is more painful in this chair,” Rick said. “I’m uh, I’m gonna go eat in the bedroom.”

“Rick--”

“You don’t hafta--” Both Shane and Lori started to say, but Rick shook his head to stop them.

“I’m actually pretty tired so…” Everyone knew it was a lie but they both stopped their protests.

Rick moved the tray off his lap and tried to get to his feet but the movement hurt like hell. Shane jumped up to help him. Rick barely bit back a groan, the tablets had started to take effect but that didn’t completely stop the pain as he stumbled back to the bedroom with Shane.

Only once they were out of earshot of Lori did Rick ask, “Can you drop me off somewhere before work tomorrow?”

“You can barely walk to yer room man, I ain’t takin’ ya nowhere.”

“I’m fine. I jus’ need to go to Daryl’s,” Rick insisted, “He ain’t answerin’ his phone.”

“Don’t change the fact tha’ I’m help ya walk like ten feet.”

“I’ll be fine. Either you take me, or I’m gonna get a cab.”

Shane sighed. “Fine. But you pull somethin’, tha’ ain’t on me.”

“Thanks.”

Shane made sure he was settled on the bed before running to get the tray of food, he stood by the bed for a moment and then sighed and left the room.

Only then did Rick relax back against the bed and make another attempt at calling Daryl.

* * *

Daryl grunted in response to a customer and waved the new guy over to take care of it.

Alden was a young guy in his early twenties with short gelled back blonde hair and dark eyes that didn’t hide his amusement when Merle started spouting off his usual shit. That was the biggest test; can he deal with Merle as a boss?

Daryl was supposed to be training Alden but his head was pounding, every clink of glass felt like a knife to the skull, and the bright lights hurt even behind the sunglasses he was wearing. The smell of alcohol did not help his still churning stomach, but he didn’t really have a choice.

It was one of the few times he wanted to work, just so he didn’t have to think about-- well, everything. He knew he was being stupid about it, he just needed to find another fuck and he’d be fine. He spent the day slowly attempting to sober up for the next shift and spent most of it looking around the bar and hoping for someone new. None of these fuckers were gay, or if they were they were repressing it to hell.

He would finish too late tonight to go out anywhere but if he was lucky he could go tomorrow.

“Oi, Merle,” Daryl shouted across the bar, wincing at his own volume. Merle glanced around at him, eyebrows raised. “Need ya cell. Broke mine.”

Merle took it out and threw it to him, Daryl caught it with ease more than used to Merle throwing things. He’d used Merle’s phone enough to know the password and sent off a quick text to Dwight asking to swap shifts the next day, relieved when he agreed.

He looked up in time to see Alden getting the vodka and the measurement for a double, he knew he’d heard a single.

“Hey,” he called. Alden stopped and looked up at him. “Single.”

Alden paused, looked down at the measurement cup, put it back and found the next one, raising an eyebrow at Daryl who gave him a nod. Thankfully, Alden was a quick learner making his evening much easier. He could lean against the wall and order the kid around.

“He ain’t half bad,” Merle muttered coming to lean against the bar beside Daryl to get his phone. Alden muttered about going to find more peanuts at the back. “Young.”

“I’s younger when I started,” Daryl reminded him. “You were barely twenty-one.”

Merle scowled. “Did well enough ta keep ta place though didn’t I!”

Daryl snorted, he was pretty sure Merle blackmailed the original owner into giving him the place when he died and then killed him but he’d never dared ask.

“Good enough to take over me?” Daryl asked hopefully. He hadn’t expected to find anyone this quickly and didn’t want to lose him.

Merle side eyed him. “Ya really leavin’?”

Alden came out of the doorway and started refilling the pots of peanuts.

“Yeah. S’a good job, man. Bring in more money,” Daryl answered.

He couldn’t wait to start at the mechanics, regular day time hours, and the chance to get out of this smelly bar full of drunken idiots and being able to work with bikes. Despite his stomach churning at the thought of leaving.

His instincts tried to warn him from falling for Rick and that had clearly been right. Should he just stay at the bar? Listen to the instincts that told him not to give into this. But the temptation of a job he might enjoy was too tempting.

“How long have you worked here?” Alden piped up.

Daryl snorted. “Helpin’ out since I was fourteen.”

“Fucker broke my TV, didn’t he?” Merle spat, laughing now despite being pissed at the time. “Had ta pay me back somehow.”

“How’d you manage to break a TV?” Alden laughed, his Boston accent getting stronger with his amusement.

“Crossbow. Cleanin’ it inside.” He shoved a cloth into Aldens hands, not wanting to dwell on that memory. He had been certain Merle was going to hit him, pleasantly surprised when Merle had just told him he was helping out at the bar to pay him back and stormed off. “Clean up some tables,” he ordered.

Alden nodded and rushed off to do as told.

He could feel Merle’s eyes on him, the memory likely playing behind his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Talking about things wasn't a Dixon thing to do.

* * *

The next evening after a long afternoon shift, Daryl rode his bike towards Atlana to the gay bar he frequented occasionally. It had been months since he last bothered, he usually didn’t care enough but right now he just wanted to forget.

To not have to think about Rick and the gentle touches, the loving kisses. He needed somebody else’ lips to erase the memory of Ricks.

He prefered this bar to any others he’d visited, it was quieter than most. There was a dance floor but the music wasn’t overpowering. He could have a drink with someone and talk without feeling pressured to dance. He didn’t dance.

He walked through the door and went straight for the bar when he heard his name being shouted. Daryl froze, nobody ever knew him.

The guy was sitting by the bar alone, he was a pretty guy with long hair framing his face, a clean cut beard, and smiling bright green eyes. Daryl blinked a few times trying to place the face.

"Paul Rovia," the guy told him, "Barrington Bikes?"

Daryl’s stomach sunk. Shit. Sure he briefly mentioned to Aaron he was gay but seeing another soon to be coworker at a gay bar was different.

"Uh, hi."

Paul grinned. "Not used to knowing any faces here, are ya?"

"No," Daryl admitted wryly.

“My usual haunt,” Paul explained, “C'mon, let me buy you a drink,” he patted the stall next to him.

Daryl shoved his hands in his pockets and looked Paul up and down slowly. He was a skinny guy but Daryl reckoned there was some hidden muscle under there. He was pretty, not the usual sort Daryl would go for but right now he just wanted a good fuck and Paul seemed confident, almost certainly knew what he was doing - even if he looked like hippie Jesus.

He mentally berated himself, this was the guy he was about to start working with. He wasn't that much of an idiot.

"Don't think that's a good idea," Daryl murmured. "If we're gonna work together."

Paul laughed, it was a pleasant kind laugh that could be infectious.

“Just a drink, Daryl. Not asking you to jump into bed with me. Chance to get to know each other before you start! Plus, I could use a wingman. You see those two," he pointed at a couple of men across the bar. One had curly black hair and a salt and pepper beard, whilst the other was conventionally attractive with a buzz cut and perfectly shaved stubble. "I don't think they're here together. I chose the left one," Paul told him to Daryl's relief. The curly haired guy looked too much like Rick for his comfort, although buzz cut wasn’t his type either. Too military looking for him.

“A'right,” he agreed anyway. If it meant he could forget for a bit he’d fuck anyone.

“Great, sit. Have a drink first.” He pulled up the stool besides Paul. Paul got the bartender's attention, ording himself some floaty purple drink and Daryl got a beer and looked distatefully at Paul's drink.

"What?"

"It's fuckin' purple."

"Really? I'd say more of a burgundy red." At Daryl's unamused look he laughed. "Here, try some."

“I’m good.”

Paul ignored him and kept holding out his drink. Daryl sighed, deeply suspecting Paul wouldn't let up so he took a sip, holding it in mouth for a moment. It was a strange mix of tastes: a sour lemon, sweet soda, and the unmistakable vodka twang.

"Good isn't it?" Paul prompted when Daryl took another sip, unsure how he felt about it.

“Like drinking fuckin' vodka cotton candy,” he said in the end, pushing the glass back at him.

Paul grinned widely, showing all his teeth. "Exactly!"

Daryl rolled his eyes and sipped at his beer to get rid of the taste.

"It's not that bad!" Paul argued. Daryl rose an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm gonna find you a drink you like before the end of the night."

"I've already found it. S'called beer."

Paul rolled his eyes. "No. Something more fun. Like Sex on the Beach!"

"Sounds impractical."

"It is. Sand gets  _ everywhere _ . But no, the drink. I'll find you a cocktail you like."

"Waste of money, man.”

"Nah, if you don't drink it. I will."

Daryl rolled his eyes but didn't bother arguing. If it meant more alcohol he was okay with it.

"I was gonna call tomorrow," Daryl said, he figured he might as well talk about it now. Save having to find the number and talk on the phone, he hated talking on the phone. Not being able to see expressions made it difficult, reading people was what kept him alive all these years. "We got a new guy. Can probably start anytime from next week."

Paul's eyes lit up. "Oh great! Tell you what, I'll speak to Aaron in the morning and get him to call you with whatever's best?"

Daryl winced. "Uh, broke my cell. We got a main line though."

“That works, Jim, got any paper and pen?”

The bartender found some under the main desk. “Thought you were always ready, Jesus?” Jim said.

Daryl frowned, bewildered at the strange placement of cursing.

“I am, my pen just ran out of ink,” Paul said as though that explained everything.

“ _ Jesus _ ?” Daryl repeated.

Paul laughed. “Yeah, people call me Jesus.”

“ _ Why _ ?”

Paul gestured at his hair. “I’m not sure who started it, but it stuck. Aaron’s one of the few that call me Paul.”

“I ain’t callin’ ya Jesus,” Daryl said decisively.

Paul laughed. “That’s fine.”

Daryl snorted and scribbled down the mainline number. "There."

"Great. One of us will call you tomorrow." Paul grinned and carefully pocketed it and downed the rest of his drink and ordered something called a Hurricane which turned out to be bright yellow and pink. It was slightly better than the last, more fruity than pure sugar. He took a few more mouthfuls before pushing it back to a smirking Paul and sipped at his beer.

"So tell me Daryl, I've been coming here regularly for… a while. I would definitely recognise you,” he added slowly, eyes racking him up and down. “So, why haven't you been here?”

Daryl shrugged. "Didn't need ta. Then was seein' someone." He tightened his hold on the beer bottle wondering why he was telling this hippie of all people.

"Ah, lookin' for a rebound?"

"Lookin' ta forget,” Daryl muttered, pushing away the memories of Rick’s gentle touches once again.

Paul pulled a face. "That bad, huh?" Daryl glared at him and Paul held up his hands. "Hey, I'm not judging. I've been there."

"That why you alone?" Daryl asked.

Paul shook his head. "Was supposed to come with Aaron after work, but Gracie's sick so he had to bail. Figured I'd still come, have a good time."

Daryl frowned. "You and Aaron come here?  _ Together _ ?"

"As friends," Paul confirmed and then grinned widely laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?"

“Even with you we're still an all gay mechanics.”

Daryl snorted. They lost themselves for a while talking about the shop and how they both learnt what they know. Turns out Paul was a foster kid but he didn’t go into much detail, Daryl could respect that, knowing what it was like to not want to talk about your past.

As they talked, Daryl found himself enjoying himself and even managed to stop thinking about why he was drowning his sorrows in the first place. He noticed the men they had been looking at earlier were gone but when he pointed it out, Paul just shrugged and finished his drink.

When he came back from a smoke, Paul offered him a bright yellow Pina Colada. Daryl was loath to admit he liked it but he put that down to liking pineapple. He finished that one, but Sex on the Beach was just offensive to his taste buds.

Daryl was starting to feel the effects of his own beers alongside the various mouthfuls of God knows what. He wasn’t sure when but he and Paul had gotten closer, knees knocking as they talked. Paul kept reaching out to pat his shoulder or knee which strangely didn’t make him flinch.

It was the Long Island Iced Tea that really got him. He downed his first glass of it to Paul’s amusement.

Daryl sipped at his second one, drunk enough to admit to himself he liked the sweet element. They sat in silence for a while and Daryl let his mind drift. He could see where this was going and should get out before he made it too awkward to start at the mechanics but he was having a good time and didn’t want it to end. A rarity for him, especially the last two days.

“Do you have a war on sleeves?” Paul asked suddenly.

“What?”

Paul reached out to grope his bicep. “Both times I’ve seen you, you’ve ripped sleeves off your shirt. Or do your arms just do that yourself?” He squeezed it, Daryl knew he should tell him to stop yet he found himself flexing the muscle and watched Paul’s eyes darken.

Without releasing his arm, Paul found his drink again to down it.

“Y’know, my place isn’t far from here,” Paul told him, carefully.

Daryl finished his own drink and nodded. “A’right.”

They wordlessly decided to split the tab and stumbled outside to wait for the cab.

Daryl gasped as Paul pushed him against the wall of the bar and kissed him hard, pressing his entire body into him. Daryl gasped and kissed back, tasting the sweet cocktails on his tongue. It was strange kissing someone shorter than him when Rick was nearly the same height, and the beard made for a strange sensation of scratchy yet good against his own cheeks. Rick was always clean shaven for work.

Daryl growled and pushed any thoughts of Rick away, spinning him and Paul around. He rolled his hips into Pauls, pushing his hardening length into Paul's thigh and ran his hands down Paul’s sides, exploring the smaller body.

“What happened… to this would be… a bad idea?” Paul asked breathlessly as Daryl kissed at his neck.

“Still is,” Daryl mumbled and reached down to palm Paul’s cock through those tight jeans.

A loud beep had Daryl jumping back. Paul grinned at Daryl before turning away and getting into the cab.

“None of tha’ in here,” the driver ordered.

“Yes sir,” Paul answered with a mock salute and a wink at Daryl.

Daryl smiled shyly. What the hell was he doing? His heart was thumping, guilt twisted his stomach, but he forced himself to ignore it. It wasn’t as though he was cheating on Rick. Rick stood him up. Not the other way around.

They barely made it into the apartment when Paul had Daryl against the wall again and immediately continued the bruising kiss, his hands went for the hem of his shirt.

Daryl nearly didn’t realise what he was doing, he’d shown Rick his back why should he care about doing it again?

Except it wasn’t Rick and that had just caused things to go wrong.

What the hell was he doing?

Paul seemed to sense his sudden discomfort and pulled away. “You okay?”

Daryl sighed. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

Paul blinked a few times and stepped back. “Okay.” He nodded rapidly. “No. Yeah. That's probably smart. You want another drink instead?”

Daryl shook his head. “I should jus’ go. Shit. I’m sorry.”

* * *

Rick groaned as he climbed into the car beside Shane, his heart thumping. He just hoped that Daryl would listen to him, he knew Daryl would forgive him once he knew but getting a stubborn redneck to listen wasn’t going to be easy.

“If he ain’t answerin’ the phone, is he really worth it? One missed date?” Shane asked once they were on their way.

Rick sighed. “The first date.”

Shane frowned. “It sounded like you’ve been seein’ each other for a while?”

“Yeah.”

Shane’s frown deepened and then his eyes went wide in understanding. “Oh. You were-- oh.” He cringed and Rick could have laughed at how badly he was trying to hide his distaste.

“He… Daryl revealed somethin’ to me this weekend. Me not turnin’ up isn’t jus’ a missed date to him. It’s a decision.” Rick sighed. “Left here.”

Shane didn’t say anything until they pulled into the trailer park and stopped by the entrance. “Look man-- I’ve been a dick recently an’ this…  _ gay _ thing freaks me the hell out. But you’ve been my brother since we were kids so… jus’ make sure he treats you good, a’right?”

Rick bit back a smile, one weight off his shoulders. “I will. Thank you.”

Shane nodded and kept driving, following Rick's instructions to the right trailer.

Shane insisted on helping Rick up the stairs to the right door but Rick sent him back to the car before he knocked.

It was early and knew Daryl was going to be pissed at that but it was the only time he could get here and he couldn’t wait another day. The last two days had been agony to wait.

When nobody answered he knocked again, harder this time, and heard Merle’s familiar voice shout, “Shut the fuck up!”

Rick ignored him and banged on the door once more. It opened roughly and Daryl stood in the doorway scowling. Shock briefly came over his face, and then his scowl only deepened and he started to close the door.

“Daryl, wait!” Rick shouted, putting his hands up to stop it, forgetting about his wound for that moment and fought against Daryl’s strength in closing it.

Daryl growled and pulled it open again. Rick stumbled not expecting that and a stabbing pain came over him. He cried out and reached for the doorway to steady himself, he pressed a hand to his side and suddenly wished he hadn’t eaten so much oatmeal for breakfast.

“The fuck?” Daryl exclaimed. “You okay?”

“I was stabbed,” Rick managed to gasp out, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"The hell?!" Daryl’s arm wound around his back, careful of the side he was touching and practically dragged him into the trailer and onto one of the chairs.

Daryl’s hands fumbled on Rick’s shirt, Rick realised the misunderstanding and took Daryl’s wrist in his.

“I'm fine,” Rick insisted, still breathless. Every breath pulled at the stitching, suddenly very aware of every inch.

"Stabbed ain't fine!" Daryl shouted whilst pulling open Rick's shirt and asked, "why you come here not--" he trailed off as he saw the white bandage tapped on his side.

"Monday. I was stabbed on Monday," Rick managed to explain. “S'why I didn't turn up.”

Daryl stepped back suddenly, eyes wide and unsure. “Oh.”

"Jus' pulled it when ya opened the door. Feels like I ripped a stitch,” Rick added.

“Here,” Daryl said, much softer and stepped closer again and crouched down beside Rick to gently pull at the corner of the bandage. Rick watched him peer at the wound and wondered how often he had to look at stitches either on himself or Merle. Whilst Daryl worked Shane came through the doorway but Rick waved him away. "No ripped stitches," Daryl said, carefully putting the bandage back and sticking it into place.

Rick shuddered as his fingers brushed against his skin. “Thanks.”

“Ya need any pain killers? Merle’s got a fuck ton of God knows what. Most of it looks safe,” Daryl offered.

Rick smiled wryly, he didn’t want to know what sort of medication Merle had in his room, he didn’t fancy arresting his boyfriend’s brother. “I’m gonna choose to ignore that.”

Daryl winced. “Right. Sorry.” He stepped back again, hair framing his face and chewed on the side of his thumb, his eyes darting around to look anywhere but at Rick. "Monday, huh?"

Rick let out a breath. Daryl was going to listen. “Yeah. I was in the hospital ‘til yesterday evening.” He dug into his pocket for the packet of pills. He only took one that morning so he could take another. “Got Shane to drop me off on the way ta work. Sorry it’s so early. You got any water?”

Daryl stepped away to get him one.

“What happened?” Daryl asked tersely once Rick had taken the pill.

“Bar fight, Went as backup,” Rick explained. “Jus’ got unlucky. Bottled, stabbed, and cut. Thankfully the knife jus’ missed my liver.”

“Fuck,” Daryl’s muttered, dropping into the other chair, turned to him. “Shit. Rick. I'm sorry, I shoulda--”

“You had no way of knowing,” Rick assured. He looked Daryl up and down and the relief from Daryl talking to him, morphed into worry. Daryl was pale even green at the edges, there were black bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess around his face. “I gotta say you look worse than I feel.”

Daryl winced and said quietly, “Went out las’ night." Rick felt a lump growing in his stomach as Daryl stared chewing on a hangnail on his thumb, deep in thought for a moment. “Was pissed, man. Saw Paul from the mechanics. We got talkin’. I thought-- well thought ya saw my back and decided I weren’t worth it--”

Rick clenched his jaw and looked away, understanding coming over him like a punch to the face. He pulled his hand from Daryl's, pretending not to see the hurt that flashed across Daryl's face. “You slept with him?”

“ _ No _ ,” Daryl said quickly, “Nearly but I didn’t. Felt too guilty. We jus’ made out till I left.”

Rick sat back into the lumpy chair and ran a hand through his hair. After Lori, the idea of trusting someone again was hard but it happened, Daryl made it easy. Yet to find out he’d made out with someone else hurt like hell.

Except, they had never agreed to be exclusive.

Daryl hadn’t cheated, in Daryl’s mind they never actually happened and to tell him immediately meant a lot.

Rick turned back to Daryl, the other man was staring at him, completely still and waiting. Rick managed a small smile and said quietly, “We haven’t even gone on a date yet. So, it’s fine.” Daryl let out a heavy breath. "Really, but thanks for telling me, means a lot."

“Still. Sorry. I shoulda--”

“It’s okay.” Rick retook his hand that was still hanging over the chair. “So, raincheck on the date?”

Daryl smiled shyly, tilting his head so that his hair covered his face but mumbled, “Yeah. Raincheck.”

“Hey,” Rick gently tugged him closer. Daryl slid off his chair to kneel in front of Rick between his knees. Rick pushed his hair away from his face and Daryl sat up to capture his lips.

It started off soft and chaste, Daryl’s hands slowly ran up his hips and up his body, careful of the wound on his side. Rick threaded his hand through Daryl’s hair and pulled him closer. Daryl’s tongue ran over his lips and Rick happily gave Daryl access to explore his mouth.

“Fuck,” he murmured when they seperated.

“How long till ya can…” Daryl trailed off but meaningfully ran his hand down Rick’s inner thigh.

“Four to six weeks,” Rick said through a groan, but something still weighed on him. “I just gotta ask,” Rick said after a moment, Daryl raised both eyebrows, “I take it you didn’t look at your texts?”

“Nah, broke my phone. Turns out whiskey an’ homebrewed moonshine don’t mix well,” Daryl said regretfully.

Rick closed his eyes, grief crashing over him like a heavy wave. He’d made Daryl feel bad enough to turn to drinking himself stupid.

He felt Daryl start to pull away. Rick opened his eyes and grabbed Daryl’s wrists before he could. Daryl froze and stared up at him confused. Rick gently tugged him forward, Daryl moved sluggishly like he wasn’t sure what Rick was doing.

Only when Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl’s back did the other man relax into him, dropping his head onto Rick’s shoulder. Rick threaded his hand through his hair, clutching the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Rick told him, realising he hadn’t said it yet and he needed Daryl to know. Daryl gasped and tried to move away but Rick held on as tightly as he could with his side still aching. “I’m sorry I made ya feel like that, but I’ll make sure tha’ doesn’t happen again.”

Daryl shook slightly in his arms and murmured a quiet, “S’fine, Rick.”

“No. It ain’t. I don’t wanna make ya feel like tha’, ever.” Rick turned his head so he could gently kiss Daryl’s temple before pulling away. Daryl leapt away as soon as he was free, his hair mostly covered his face but Rick could see his eyes shining. To give him an out and lighten the mood Rick added, “by the way, never tell me where the homebrewed moonshine came from.”

Daryl’s eyes jumped to Merle’s door and back to Rick’s sheepishly. Rick made a mental note to never go into Merle’s room or even the back of the ASZ bar. Until he saw it he didn’t know anything.

“Keep forgettin’ yer a cop,” Daryl muttered, moving to sit on the other chair, turned to face Rick.

“I can remind you if you whenever ya want,” Rick said suggestively. “Always got my handcuffs at home.”

A shiver ran through Daryl, his eyes widening as though surprised at his own reaction.

Before he could reply, the other door opened and Merle stumbled out. He paused for a moment, glanced between the two of them, scowling then spat, “No gay shit under my roof,” and staggered into the bathroom.

Daryl snorted and held a hand out to Rick. “C’mon, he’ll jus’ watch TV too loud ‘till he’s gotta work. More privacy in the bedroom.”

Daryl made sure Rick was comfortable on the bed before sitting down carefully beside him.

“You ain’t livin’ on your own are ya?” Daryl asked. “You can barely walk.”

“Nah, living at Lori’s for the next two weeks,” Rick explained, trying to keep from grimacing. “Or at least ‘til I can sit up without pain.”

“Oh, that’s gotta be weird?”

“Would be okay, ‘cept Shane’s there all the time apparently. Like he doesn’t have his own place.”

Daryl winced and opened his mouth for a second but snapped it shut. “Tha’s shit.”

“Only two weeks,” Rick said, it was starting to become a mantra. “Bein’ ‘round Carl more makes it bearable.”

Daryl snorted. “If ya need to escape, jus’ call me. I’m on night shift ‘til Aaron calls.”

Rick raised his eyebrows in question. “‘Bout the job?”

“Yeah. Found someone at the bar pretty quick, so uh…” he winced, “Mentioned it ta Paul yesterday an’ he said he’d get Aaron to call with dates ta start.”

Rick clenched his jaw, Daryl would be spending a lot of time with the guy he nearly slept with. Daryl went still beside him and Rick struggled to think of the best way to respond. He was happy for Daryl but the idea of him working with the guy he nearly slept with was difficult.

He could feel Daryl’s eyes on him and forced himself to take a breath. He could trust Daryl.

“How soon?”

Daryl visibly relaxed. “Next week I think.”

“That’s great, man.”

They spent a while just talking, the entire morning had Rick exhausted but he didn’t realise he was falling asleep until a loud ringing had him jumping awake, and then groaning as he pulled at his stitches.

It took a moment to work out where he was, Daryl was no longer in the bedroom. A quick glance at his watch told Rick he’d been asleep for nearly two hours. His mouth was uncomfortably dry, an annoying side effect of the medication. Which the pain in his side told him he was due another one.

He went for his pocket but remembered he left the pills in his jacket across the room. He groaned and ever so slowly swung his legs out of the bed.

He’d barely made it all the way when the door opened again and Daryl came in holding a plate of sandwiches.

“The hell are ya doin’?” Daryl demanded.

“Pills in my pocket,” Rick said breathlessly.

“Stay there.” Daryl put the plate on the side to get the pills and a drink for Rick. Once Rick had taken them Daryl offered out the sandwiches. “Made lunch. An’ I was thinkin’ whilst ya slept,” Daryl hesitated. “If ya want… I dunno if this is weird or somethin’ but if ya wanna go back to your place… I could stay with ya. But I do gotta work nights all week but Aaron called an’ I’m startin’ day’s next week at the shop…” Daryl trailed off and started chewing on his thumb again, eyes darting around everywhere but at Rick. “Jus’ so ya ain’t alone most of the time, but don’t hafta stay with Lori’n Shane.”

The idea sounded perfect but Rick wasn’t sure if that would be too strange, getting into a new relationship and living with him whilst he’s injured could make things difficult. Yet it sounded better than having to sit through dinner with his ex-wife and best friend.

“Are ya sure?” Rick asked. “That would… I couldn’t expect that of ya, man.”

“Can ya piss by yourself?”

The unexpected question caused a burst of laughter to bubble up from Rick’s stomach, the movement causing his aching side to pull, he winced. “Yeah. I can.”

“Then sure. Be glad ta get away from Merle for a bit.”

“A’right. If you’re sure, man.”

“Yeah. ‘Course. Nothin’ like ya own bed.” Daryl smirked. “‘Sides, your bed is way more comfortable’n mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


	8. Epilogue

Rick sat on his couch and let out a heavy breath, relaxing for the first time since he woke up in the hospital. The stairs had taken the last of his energy from him and he found himself falling asleep in the time it took Daryl to mutter about going to get their bags.

He settled down on the couch, only to be awoken a few minutes later when he heard the door handle rattling followed by a knock.

Rick chuckled and slowly got up to let a sheepish Daryl back in, before limping to the couch again this time with Daryl’s help.

“Spare keys in that drawer.” Rick pointed at the kitchen. When Daryl made no move to get it, he added, “I’m not gettin’ up to let ya in every time ya go out. What time do ya get back after a night shift?”

“‘Bout three. Yeah.” Daryl dug through the drawer to find it and once confirmed it was the right key he stuffed it into his wallet. For a moment he stood still, eyes darting around to look anywhere but at Rick. “Uh. I um--”

“C’mere.” Rick patted the couch beside him. Daryl jumped and rushed to sit down on the couch beside him stiffly, fingers picking at the thread of his jeans.

“I heard Lori,” Daryl said eventually. Rick struggled to push through the tired fog to remember what he heard. “When I saw comin’ back to help ya to the truck. I heard her. Expectin’ me ta jus’ steal your stuff,” Daryl clarified and Rick sighed, he had been unbelievably pissed at her for that comment.

“She’s--” Rick cut himself off. “No, y’know what when we were married I kept makin’ excuses for her but no. That was wrong of her an’ I’m sorry ya had ta hear it.”

Daryl shrugged. A thread of his jeans started to come out and Daryl pulled at it, twisting the string between his fingers as he spoke. “I know wha’ people think of me. Ain’t nothin’ new. Jus’ don’t understand why-- why you wanna…” Daryl faltered and dropped the string in favour of chewing on the side of his thumb.

“What? Date you?” Rick finished for him, smirking slightly.

Daryl’s eyes darted up to Rick and then back to his knees. “Yeah.”

Rick chewed on his bottom lip trying to work out the best way to answer him. “Because right now I can barely stand and you’ve offered to stay with me to look after me so I didn’t have to stay with Lori and Shane.”

Daryl finally looked up at him brow furrowed. “Ya asked me out before I did that?”

“Yeah,” Rick said, smiling gently. “But it’s jus’ proof of what sorta guy you are an’ why I like ya. You don’t need to be here. Sure we’ve been… friends for a few months but we only agreed to date a few days ago. You have no obligation. So, why are you here?”

Daryl was quiet for a moment, turning his attention back on the thread on his jeans. “Cause… I like ya an’ if I can help, I’d like ta.”

“Exactly,” Rick reached out to take the hand, stopping the fiddaling. “Now I can’t have sex for about two or three weeks but my lips still work.”

Daryl snorted. “That was cheesy as fuck, man.”

“Don’t care.”

Daryl rolled his eyes but shifted closer to him and bent his leg on the couch so he could face Rick.

He tilted his head, trying to hide his shy smile but Rick followed his movement.

“You should know… I ain’t got a clue how to do any of this,” Daryl said tentatively.

“Do what?” Rick asked curiously, leaning closer, eyes focused on Daryl's lips.

“Date someone,” Daryl admitted. “Never done it. Least not… properly.”

Rick squeezed the hand he held. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. Done pretty well so far."

Daryl cut him off with a kiss, pressing his soft lips against Rick’s, hand going to the side of his neck. Rick ran his hand up Daryl’s thigh, teasing the growing bulge in his pants before moving up his torso and around his back to pull him closer, exploring his mouth.

Until Rick’s stomach rumbled loudly enough to make Daryl pull away, lips curled in amusement. “Hungry?”

“A bit. We can order in?”

Daryl shook his head. “You’re healin’. Ya need better food.”

“Uh.” Rick glanced at the fridge, “All we got is a pizza - probably moldy - and some tins of… god knows what.”

“If ya can wait, I’ll go grab ya some groceries?” Daryl offered. “An’ if ya good whilst I go out?”

“Yeah, take my card,” Rick offered. “S’in my bag. PIN spells ‘Carl’.”

Rick waited but Daryl didn’t move for a moment before asking, “Ain’t worried I’ll jus’ withdraw all your money?”

“Nope,” Rick said, closing his eyes and shuffling to get more comfortable on the couch. “Ya gonna let me go hungry or what?”

Daryl shook himself out of his stupor and jumped to his feet. “Sorry. Won’t be long.”

* * *

Rick’s card was only a piece of plastic but Daryl was certain it was burning a hold in his wallet as he walked around the store.

He started mentally comprising a meal plan for the week. Ensuring to include any foods he knew of that aided healing; years of looking after Merle after he got into fights and Carol’s input had taught him all he needed to know.

Except he became suddenly very aware he didn’t actually know what Rick liked. Was he allergic to anything? Did he prefer apples or bananas? Did he like either of them? Did he have a nut allergy?

No. He was eating peanuts at the bar a few weeks ago.

Daryl sighed, deciding to just guess and hope he wasn’t buying anything Rick would hate.

He made it back before long to find Rick laying across the couch, eyes closed. “Daryl?” Rick asked through a yawn and peered at him.

“Yeah, jus’ me.”

“M’kay.” Rick closed his eyes again and started to roll over, and immediately hissed in pain. “Fuckin’, fuck!”

“Whoa, you okay?” Daryl dropped the bags to run over to his side and help Rick back into a comfortable half lying position, putting a cushion under his back and neck.

“Tie me up next time I sleep so I don’t move accidently,” Rick gasped.

Daryl’s dick twitched at the image; he waited until Rick caught his breath though, before saying, “Thought it was gonna be me in handcuffs.”

Rick’s eyes opened wide and he smirked. “Who says we can’t take turns?”

Daryl chuckled. “Sound’s like a deal.”

He picked up the bags and started putting the food away, keeping out the chicken for dinner.

“Do you need any help?” Rick asked.

“I’m here ta help ya, idiot,” Daryl scoffed. “You’ve done more than ya shoulda today.”

“I can--”

“You move from tha’ couch, I will tie ya down really,” Daryl threatened, waving a fork at him.

Rick laughed and then groaned again. “Stop makin’ me laugh. I’ll stay here, alright.”

Daryl stared to make sure he wasn’t going to move for a moment before turning his attention back on the chicken and listened to Rick’s breathing even out.

He felt a smile threatening to come out and couldn’t understand it. He was happier than he had been in a long time but terrified. He couldn’t lose Rick.

Once dinner was in the oven he turned to watch Rick sleep, resolving to do everything he could to keep him.

* * *

Seven, eight, nine. Turn. One, two--

“You’re makin’ me dizzy,” Rick said. Daryl stopped his pacing and spun around to look at a smirking Rick.

“Sorry,” Daryl muttered, droppin’ onto the couch beside Rick heavily enough to make the couch slide back an inch.

“It’ll be great. Today’ll probably jus’ be fillin’ out paperwork and them showin’ ya the ropes,” Rick said, an attempt to reassure him but Daryl was too nervous.

“I know the bar, been there since I was fourteen,” Daryl said through a groan. “I don’t know the mechanics.”

“But you do know bikes,” Rick said. “You’ll be fine.”

“Is it too early?” Daryl asked, checking his watch again.

“You’ve get ten minutes.”

Daryl sighed and dropped his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He heard Rick laughing and opened his eyes again to glare at him. “Stop laughin’.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just cute how nervous you are.”

Daryl narrowed his eyes further. “I ain’t _cute_.”

“You’re very cute.”

Daryl tried to deepen his glare, one that had most customers running, but Rick’s wide grin stayed in place.

“Fuck you,” he muttered closing his eyes again.

“Hopefully in another couple of weeks,” Rick said wryly.

A smile pulled at the corner of Daryl’s lips thinking back on how strange the past week had been. Living with a guy that wasn’t his brother, a guy he was dating.

He started noticing things he hadn’t in the times he’d been over for a few hours. Rick would take his dishes immediately to the sink after eating, even if it caused him pain.

He would also be awake by six every morning. The first morning Daryl had gotten up to help Rick, and make him breakfast so he didn’t have to move much; despite his protesting that Daryl needed to sleep. The next morning Rick tried to be quiet as he got out of bed, having no idea how light of a sleeper Daryl was. Especially when he couldn’t keep quiet from the pain of moving.

When he’d gotten home that first night after his night shift, he had stood in the living room for a few minutes suddenly unsure. They hadn’t discussed where Daryl would sleep. The obvious answer was Rick’s bed but what if he didn’t want that? He eventually had forced himself into Rick’s room, only to have Rick shift closer to him, still mostly asleep and mumbling, “how was your shift?” but fell back to sleep before Daryl could answer.

Sure they slept together whilst camping but it felt more intimate in Rick’s apartment. A week in and Daryl was still getting used to it. Although the night before had been his first full night with Rick due to starting at the mechanics this morning.

The thought of which had his leg jumping desperate to get up and start pacing again.

Plus, he didn’t know how Paul felt about what nearly happened the week before. He didn’t want any issues at his new job just because he was an idiot when drunk.

“Hey,” Rick spoke up, reaching out to touch Daryl’s knee, stopping it from bouncing. “You’ll be fine, really.”

“I’m bein’ stupid. Sorry.”

“Nah. I’d be worse startin’ a different job,” Rick said reassuringly. “Worked in a shop when I was in college but then I started the academy an’ been a cop since then.”

“Were ya nervous ta start the academy?”

“Fuckin’ terrified.”

Daryl let out a breath and nodded. He looked Rick over worriedly, he was healing nicely. He could move around the apartment slowly without too much pain. Sitting up was still awkward for him pulling on those damaged muscles but he was healing, faster than expected.

“Ya sure you’re good on your own today?” Daryl asked.

He’d only been out at work once Rick was already in bed and tried to be awake most of the day to help him around, despite Rick sleeping a large portion of the days at the beginning of the week.

“I’ll be fine. Shane’s comin’ by at lunch.”

Daryl tried to hide the distaste crossing his face, Rick still considered him a good friend so he resolved to just deal with him and try to be polite.

“A’right. I better go. Don’t wanna be late. But call the shop if anythin’ happens.”

He stepped away and Rick made an offended noise. He spun back to Rick smirking. “Forgettin’ somethin’?” he pointed at his own lips.

Daryl felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to this.

* * *

Daryl parked his bike just outside Barrington Bikes and took a deep breath, reminding himself that he could do this.

He locked up his bike and walked into the building. Paul was standing behind the desk, his hair tied into a tight bun atop his head. He was talking to a customer but his eyes widened slightly at Daryl and managed a small smile.

Daryl shoved his shaking hands into his pockets and waited behind the customer listening to the guy giving Paul some details and then handing him his keys.

Paul waited until the customer left before turning his attention on Daryl. He smiled but a blush creeped up his neck and over his cheeks.

“Hey, Daryl. Glad you made it. I just wanted to apologize--"

"S'fine," Daryl said quickly, he didn’t want to talk about it. Rick had forgiven him and he couldn’t dwell on it any longer. "We were both drunk."

Paul let out a relieved breath. "Alright." His smile brightened and he opened the door at the side. “C'mon through then.”

He led Daryl through into the main garage where Aaron had a Harley Electra-Glide propped up on a table.

The bikes pipes were clearly rusted, visible from across the room, some tape hanging off the side. Aaron was in the process of taking them off with new shiny exhaust pipes on the table beside him.

Aaron had grease in his hair and beard was longer than the last time he had seen him. He was so focused on his task that Paul shouted his name to get his attention.

Aaron wiped his hands on a cloth and came over to them.

“Daryl! Glad you made it.”

Daryl shrugged, unsure what Aaron expected him to say.

“I’ve just got to finish this off.” Aaron gestured at the bike. “Can you get Daryl started, Paul?”

Paul took Daryl into a small office area off the main desk. On the wall was a corkboard with pictures of bikes and bike parts pinned up along with various pictures of Paul and Aaron, along with Eric and Gracie. There was one computer and the desk was covered in papers.

“Don’t touch those,” Paul warned him when he caught Daryl looking. “They are perfectly organised according to Aaron. Sorry today’s gonna be more of a paperwork day, jus’ get it all in order.”

Daryl chuckled. “Rick said tha’d be the case.”

“Rick?” Paul asked curiously.

Daryl winced, remembering what he’d said at the bar. “Yeah. Uh, worked out with the guy I was tryna forget. Turn’s out I was bein’ the idiot.”

“Oh, that’s great. I’m happy for you Daryl.”

Daryl hoped he was imaging the disappointment that crossed Paul’s face. It only lasted a second. Enough for Daryl to pretend it didn’t happen.

“Thanks,” Daryl murmured.

Paul waited another moment before gesturing for him to sit down and started going through the paperwork. When a customer came in he took Daryl with him and showed him how they do things, explaining that Daryl would be mostly in the back but they do expect him to work the desk if they've both stepped out for any reason.

Daryl nodded along trying to remember everything he was being told. He only started to relax when Aaron took him into the garage and explained the general process of repairs.

Despite the easy day, Daryl found himself exhausted walking up the stairs to Rick’s apartment.

Until the smell of burning reaching him as he approached Rick’s door. Daryl fumbled for his key, worry coursing through him, was Rick inside burning, unable to move?

He was close to kicking the door open when he found the right key. As soon as he opened the door the smell assaulted his nose along with Rick cursing and something on the stove was sizzling.

Daryl rushed into the kitchen as Rick opened the oven and smoke poured out sending the fire alarm going off. Rick tried to waft the smoke away and leant in again but started coughing, curling over with the force, and groaned and touched his side.

"What the hell are ya doin'?" Daryl demanded, taking Rick by the arm and pulled him away from the kitchen before opening the window and turning off the fire alarm before the entire building was evacuated.

Once it finally quietened, he focused on turning off the oven and stove. The spaghetti was bubbling over, beside it was what looked like it used to be tomato sauce with blackened lumps in it.

The oven had charred garlic bread within.

“What the hell?” Daryl asked again.

"Was tryna make dinner," Rick said croakily.

Daryl poured Rick a glass of water and led him to the couch. “Sit. Drink slowly.”

Rick did as ordered, sipping at the water as he tried to catch his breath. Daryl lifted Rick’s shirt by the wound and gently pulled at the bandage to check the wound beneath. Rick shivered and shifted so Daryl could get a better look.

“Nothin’ ripped. You’re good.” Daryl put the bandage and his shirt back in place and then said, “What the hell? What do you think you’re doin’? Could’ve ripped a stitch coughin’ like that. Don’t lean into a smokin’ oven, idiot!”

A knock on the interrupted Rick’s reply. Daryl sighed and got up to answer. An older man stood on the other side, he had a gray beard and thick black eyebrows pinched in worry.

“Hi Dale,” Rick greeted, waving from across the room.

“Hi Rick, I heard the fire alarm and smelt smoke?” Dale asked, concerned. Sniffing and looked around Daryl to the kitchen.

“Turns out I shouldn’t cook,” Rick admitted.

“Taken care of, ain’t gonna set anythin’ alight,” Daryl reassured the guy.

“Okay then. Well you two take care.”

Daryl hummed and closed the door behind him. When he turned ready to continue yelling at Rick for his stupidity, Daryl noticed the table in the corner had been pulled out and was set up with candles and a bottle of wine.

The words froze in his throat, staring at the table in wonder.

“Can't really go out for a couple more weeks. Thought we could have a bit of a date night here…” Rick explained hesitantly. “Since you're not workin' nights now. Got Shane to buy the ingredients and steal Lori’s recipe for me,” Rick continued in a ramble. “I ruined it. I’m sorry.”

“No, Rick,” Daryl said quickly, struggling to comprehend how hard Rick was trying for _him_. It was nearly more than he could take. “That’s... That's a real nice thought. We can still order in, still be a… date. Though you ain’t supposed ta drink on your pills?”

Rick shrugged. “You can. Figured we needed to celebrate your first day as well.”

Daryl spun back to Rick and put a hand on his cheek and sat down beside him to pull him into a gentle kiss. He wasn’t good with words but he could use actions and he tried to pour everything into that kiss.

After a minute they pulled away breathless. “Let me order us somethin’,” Daryl decided, stepping away. “Stay there.”

* * *

Rick sat down on the couch and watched Daryl laying on the floor beside Carl drawing in crayon.

The other man had come a long way in only two months since they officially started dating. The shy looks were getting rarer but Rick still enjoyed when he made them happen.

He loved Daryl. He had known that since the day in the woods when Daryl finally began to open up to him, show him his scars. He still never talked about them and Rick didn’t push. It was up to Daryl to talk about them when he was ready. If he never was then that was his choice.

The only reason Rick hadn’t told him how he feels was because he didn’t want to scare him away. Daryl was still a flight risk at times whenever anything got too much for him.

The first few times Carl came over, Daryl avoided Rick like the plague. Eventually he did start to come over as well and get to know Carl, and Rick loved to watch the two of them interact.

Daryl was a natural with kids. When he realised that Rick briefly entertained the thought of adopting a baby with Daryl but pushed that away with force. That was a long long way away, he and Daryl didn’t even live together. Officially at least, Daryl spent more time here than at his trailer.

A knock on the door pulled Rick out of his thoughts. Daryl looked up and started to move.

“I got it,” Rick said quickly, his side had healed completely, but Daryl had apparently gotten into a habit that was hard to break. Daryl hesitated but Carl pulled his attention back to the drawing.

Lori stood on the other side of the door and smiled politely, one hand resting on her swollen belly. “Hey, c’mon in.”

“Hi mom!” Carl shouted. “Can I finish my drawing with Daryl?”

Lori came into the room and eyed Daryl up warily. Rick had told her the truth only a couple of weeks before and she was taking a while to warm up to the idea, but so far she had been polite enough to Daryl that Rick let the wary looks go.

“Okay, five minutes,” Lori said eventually.

Carl pumped his fist and started explaining to Daryl the benefits of using the red and blue crayons together. Rick chuckled at Daryl’s very interesting sounding hum.

“Want a drink?” Rick offered.

“No, thank you. I actually wanted to ask ya,” she hesitated and glanced at Daryl, “both of ya. I know it's late but what’re your plans for Christmas?"

Rick glanced at Daryl, the other man was frowning at his drawing. "Haven't thought much of it," Rick admited.

“Clearly.” Lori rolled her eyes. “You’re both invited to Christmas with Shane, Carl, an’ me. If ya want?” Lori looked over at Daryl again, waiting.

Daryl was frowning at his drawing and then said, “Don’t tend to do nothin’ for Christmas.” Rick’s heart clenched wondering if Daryl had ever had a proper Christmas.

“Well, if you change your mind, you’re welcome.”

Daryl nodded, eyes still lowered. Lori looked at Rick, questioning. Rick gave her a small shake of the head: don’t push it.

Thankfully, Lori didn’t and instead said, “Two minutes, Carl.”

“Mooom--”

“Nope.”

Carl sighed but started packing up his crayons with Daryl’s help. "C'mon, I'll help ya pack ya bag," Daryl offered, following Carl back to his room. Rick had to work Thanksgiving so he had Carl for a few days afterwards wanting to spend more time with his son.

As soon as they were gone, Daryl dropped onto the couch beside Rick with a tired side. “Tha’ kid has too much energy.”

Rick laughed. “You did pretty well. I gave up after the floor is lava.” They sat in silence for a while until Rick had to ask, “Christmas?”

Daryl chewed on the side of his thumb. Rick put a hand on his knees squeezing it.

“I ain’t never had much of a Christmas. Either Merle’n me usually get pissed on eggnog an’ wake up on the twenty sixth. Open the bar for everyone tryna avoid families tha' ain't left yet. Or my old man used to turn up demandin’ money or some shit hopin’ we got Christmas spirit. Merle’d end up fightin’ him, up’n I’d be bailin’ him out of jail. Then we’d get drunk. Least tha’ one can’t happen this year.”

“What if we invited Merle?” Rick asked. “Give you both a family Christmas?”

Daryl looked at him bewildered. “Lori barely tolerates _me_ . She ain’t gonna want _Merle_ at tha’ nice house of hers.”

“I’ll deal with Lori. You deal with Merle?” Rick offered, holding his hand out.

The bewildered look stayed in place as Daryl considered the offer and finally sighed. “A’right. Ain’t promisin’ nothin’.”

Rick moved his hand pointedly. Daryl managed a small smile and shook Rick’s hand. Rick gripped Daryl’s tightly and pulled him in for a kiss, laughing at the shocked, “Mmph!” from Daryl.

When they separated, Rick’s heart clenched and he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Daryl frowned and started to ask something.

“I love you,” Rick blurted, interrupting Daryl.

Daryl went still, mouth frozen open with a question he didn’t get to ask.

“I don’t expect you to say it back,” Rick said quickly before Daryl could start to panic. “Not right now, not until you’re ready. Whenever that is. I jus’ needed you to know.”

Rick waited for Daryl to say something, anything. To just move. Rick counted the seconds.

Seven full seconds passed before Daryl snapped his mouth shut and pulled back, tilting his head so his hair covered his face. Rick realised it needed a cut, he loved it long but it was starting to get shaggy. Daryl brought his thumb to his mouth again, forehead pinched.

“Hey,” Rick said when Daryl still didn’t speak for a while. “I don’t want to freak you out, I promise.”

“I know,” Daryl said croakily. He cleared his throat and got to his feet. “I-- I need to-- I need a smoke.”

“Okay.” Rick pulled back and let Daryl run away. “Okay,” he murmured to himself long after Daryl had gone. He ran a hand through his hair. “That went well.” He pushed away the disappointment trying to claw its way into his chest. He’d hoped Daryl would react better but his reaction could have been worse.

* * *

Daryl all but stumbled his way down the stairs and climbed onto his bike, hands shaking. He rode with no direction in mind. He just needed to clear his head.

Of course he knew how Rick felt. He knows how he feels but to hear the words felt like someone was squeezing his heart and holding his tongue, refusing to let the words come out. He didn’t think he could say them back, that wasn’t him. He’d never told anybody _that_.

There were only three people he cared for that much; Merle would punch him for saying it. Carol would probably say it back and hug him. But Rick? Rick was different.

Rick said he could wait for the reply but he couldn’t help but wonder how Rick would feel if he never said the words. Could Rick really be that patient?

Daryl pushed out those thoughts and focused on riding, he felt lightheaded and didn’t want to get dizzy and crash.

He made it back to the apartment hours later with food. Rick smiled at him, no expectation in his gaze.

“Smells good,” Rick commented.

Daryl shrugged and started putting the food out on the coffee table. “Sorry it’s late,” he murmured.

“S’fine.”

Daryl glanced up at him, the words coming out before he could stop them, “What if I can’t?”

Rick paused, hand halfway to one of the boxes and instead grabbed at the labels of his winged vest to pull him in for a chaste kiss.

“I’m not gonna stop,” Rick promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is not the end. I have a sequal planned, along with some prequals. Keep you're eyes out.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that's left comments and kudos. I love you all, you are my motivation!  
> As always thank you to the wonderful sleepyMoritz for your beta'ing efforts, and to my friends for helping me out with some of the weirdest questions.
> 
> Comments and Concrit always welcome and apprciated <3

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off the song One Night stand by Enrique Iglesias.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


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